Hey hey! It's Gary here! Well, Yum@ and I are back from our vacations from each other. Janet and David aren't back yet, though. We talked about it and thought rather than bore you guys with photos and stories about our trips, we would fic it instead. Here goes...
JACK: Okay, Daniel. Where are we now?
DANIEL: Route 23. What, no. I think it's route 32. Where are my glasses?
CARTER: I knew we should have flown instead.
TEAL'C: It would be most efficient.
JACK: Oh, and who was going to pay for all of us?
DANIEL: Couldn't you guys have the military pay for this? I mean, well, you could have said it was a trip for...uh...non-fun.
JACK: A trip for non-fun.
DANIEL: Business trip.
JACK: So what would be our purpose driving to New Orleans then?
DANIEL: Well...
CARTER: Watch out for that cow!
JACK: What? Oh SH_T!
BANG! CRASH! SCREECH! MOOOOOOOOOOOO!
TEAL'C: That was most distressing.
CARTER: You can say that again.
TEAL'C: If you insist, that was most distressing...
DANIEL: Argh! Are you guys okay?
JACK: @^#&$^&%^@!!!!
CARTER: Sir!
JACK: Fine! I just created our dinner! Roadside hamburger!
TEAL'C: I will not eat this animal that you have just attacked.
JACK: For crying out loud, I didn't attack it! It ran into my jeep!
DANIEL: I think YOU ran it over with your jeep.
JACK: Daniel.
DANIEL: Yes, Jack?
JACK: Shut up.
DANIEL: Okay.
CARTER: So what are we going to do now?
TEAL'C: If O'Neill is hungry, perhaps we should devour it. He did make our...dinner.
JACK: It's not dinner! Oh for...
DANIEL: Oh! He's going to say it again.
CARTER: Great...
JACK: What?
DANIEL: For crying out loud. You're so predictable, Jack.
JACK: WHAT? Oh for- I mean #@##^$#@@$#%$+^&%!!!!!!!!
CARTER: Sir! That was very inappropiate! What would the readers think?
TEAL'C: Very intriguing vocabulary. The words were quite...colorful.
DANIEL: Jack's a very bad influence.
JACK: Daniel...
DANIEL: Okay, okay.
JACK: What about the COW?!
CARTER: Move it?
TEAL'C: Run it over again?
DANIEL: Eat it?
CARTER: Ewwwwwwww...
TEAL'C: Most unappetizing.
JACK: And they say I have a potty mouth...
DANIEL: Sorry...
BANG BANG BANG!
JACK: What? Oh great...a cop.
OFFICER: What have we here?
TEAL'C: People in a automoblie.
CARTER: Shhh.....Teal'c!
TEAL'C: He asked.
OFFICER: Oh...a smart mouth, eh?
JACK: Listen officer, we-
OFFICER: You ran this cow over?
TEAL'C: He was making...dinner.
JACK: No! I didn't see the cow.
TEAL'C: He was busy yelling at Daniel Jackson.
CARTER: Teal'c! You're not helping!
OFFICER: Okay folks, step out of the car.
TEAL'C: Why?
DANIEL: (groan) We're dead.
TEAL'C: No we are not.
CARTER: To think I could have flown instead.
JACK: Yeah, I could have 'borrowed' a plane for ya. Look officer...officer Colms,is it? This was an accident. A misunderstanding. No need to get upset...We'llbe glad to pay the ticket and be done with it.
TEAL'C: If you pay, do we keep the cow?
JACK,DANIEL,CARTER: Teal'c!
© 1998 The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa’uld and all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.