"Sir?"
"What is it, Carter?"
"We're lost...aren't we?"
"No we're not, Carter and call me Jack. We're on vacation."
"Are we having fun yet?"
"No, Teal'c. That's only when we stop getting lost. Isn't that right...JACK?"
"Then again, Carter. Call me sir. Figured out the map yet, Daniel?"
"Dammit, Jack. I'm an archeologist, not a navigator!"
"Touchy, touchy."
"I told you, we should have exited at Callahan Tunnel, but noooooo..."
"Daniel."
"What is it, Jack?"
"I'm going...how fast?"
"Um, about 55 miles per hour?"
"Think it would hurt if I SHOVE YOU OUT OF THIS CAR!!!???"
"..."
"Don't be mean to Daniel, Jack. He was right."
"Yeah, yeah. Smug little geeky $#$&...."
"Sir!"
"Oh? Now it's back to sir, are we?"
"That language was highly unappropiate."
"Yeah, tell it to him, Teal'c!"
"I just did, Daniel Jackson."
"Great, I'm stuck in a car full of comedians."
"I am Jaafa and I thought you were all human."
"I wonder about that..."
"Jack?"
"WHAT?"
"Uh, remember we needed to exit at Route 2 North?"
"Yeah?"
"You just passed it."
"Oh #@^#&!!"
"Holy Hannah! Now that was a lot of words unnecessary!"
"Jack! What are you doing?"
"Heading back for the exit!"
"You can't make a U-turn on the highway!"
"Why are the automobiles yelling at us?"
"Because Jack is CRAZY!!!"
"Calm down, Danny. You're turning red."
"Wait, wait! Jack! Sir! Mass Turnpike! We need to...whoa!"
"Jack! You're turning too fast!"
"Am not."
"You're going 75 miles per hour on a turn!"
"There is smoke coming out of your vehicle."
"Oh shi-"
"To heck with my allergies and phobias! I'm flying next time!"
"Don't be a wimpass."
"What is a wimpass?"
"Teal'c, who's on your left?"
"Daniel Jackson."
"Well, that's a wimpass."
"Sir!"
"Jack!"
"What? What?"
"We're going to die. We're going to die."
"Did you have a prophetic vision, Daniel Jackson?"
"No, Teal'c. He's just being an as-"
"Jack!"
"What? What? I wasn't going to say nuthin'!"
"The turn! The turn!"
"What?"
"You missed it again!"
"Oh great. Hang on, kids."
"Argh...here we go again."
"Perhaps next time we should just go on the Go'uald death glider."
© 1998 The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa’uld and all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.