A sheepish looking archeologist stood at the entrance to the infirmary.

Janet looked up from her desk. "Back already?"

"Yeah, the stuff seems to wear off pretty quickly." He started to scratch.

Janet swatted at his hand. "Don't scratch it. It will only get infected. And then it will only be worse."

Daniel looked at her. "It itches," he complained.

When he looked at her like that, it almost melted her heart. Almost. But she had to be firm.

She pulled the privacy curtain around the examining table, and patted the bed. "You know the drill."

Daniel obediently hopped up on the table and unbuckled his pants. "Does it have to be all the way?" he plaintively asked, hoping that, maybe, this time the answer would be different.

"Yes. You still have some inflammation. Obviously." Janet went to the cabinet for the cream as Daniel lay down on his stomach and pulled down his pants. When she turned around, she paused for a moment and savored the view. Daniel was scratching again. "I told you not to scratch it, Daniel," Janet said irritably.

Daniel watched as she unscrewed the cap from the magic cream. "Just get on with it." He screwed his eyes shut.

She started spreading cream on the affected area. Daniel sighed as the medication took effect. Aahh, the agonies and ecstasies!

"Ulp!"

"Dr. Jackson?" Janet looked up from her ministrations.

"Uhmm... Never mind." He winced as Janet finished spreading the cream. This part was definitely hard to get used to.

Janet patted Daniel's behind. "All done."

"So, what are you going to do next time your on the planet and you have an emergency?"

Daniel intoned. "I will not use local plant life instead of toilet paper."

Hmmm. I wonder if I should tell Dr. Jackson that he could apply this himself. Naaah.
-- Excerpt from the secret diaries of Janet Fraiser

© June 8, 2000 The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa'uld and all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.

Author's Note: This one is dedicated to Scribe. Val, I want a drink.