**********
Jack smiled at the flush of embarrassment that graced Daniel's face. It was a rare sight. Daniel didn't often get embarrassed. Mostly because when people made comments that should have embarrassed someone with Daniel's outlook on life, he was oblivious to it. Things like that went right by him. He wasn't stupid, he just didn't notice. His brain tended to function on a different dimension than everyone else’s.
But it was hard to miss a dozen roses, a two-pound box of dark chocolates and a vintage bottle of wine, hand-delivered to the conference room in the middle of a briefing. Apparently, General Markam's wife hadn't heard of subtle. Daniel had been stunned into silence when Sergeant Hamilton appeared in the conference room doorway, laden with gifts, and proceeded to place them in front of Daniel on the table. Even General Hammond seemed at a loss.
"She insisted they be personally delivered to Dr. Jackson immediately, Sir," Hamilton explained. "We had a heck of a time convincing her that she didn’t have clearance to deliver them herself. Talked her way through the front gate and NORAD all the way to Level Eleven before someone reminded her that classified means classified."
"Who is she?" the General asked.
"Mrs. Markam, Sir."
"As in General Lyle Markam?" Sam asked. "Daniel, I’m surprised at you." With a mischievous glint in her eye, she reached over and appropriated the accompanying note. Hand-written on an elegant, open-face card, it had been secured to the box of chocolates without the benefit of an envelope. In all likelihood, that meant everyone between reception on Level Eleven and the conference room had probably read it. Carter proceeded to made certain no one in the conference room was left out of the loop.
"My dear Doctor Jackson, it was lovely to meet you last night. I'm so glad you came to the reception. I can see why George thinks you're indispensable, although I can't possibly imagine what an Air Force General needs with an archeologist. He's supposed to be flying the wide blue yonder, while I would think you spend a lot of time digging in the dirt. Perhaps you'll come for dinner one night soon and explain it all to me. Charlotte Markam"
That was when the blush started. A pink tint in Daniel’s cheeks that deepened and spread across his face as Carter read. Jack grinned maniacally. Daniel ducked his head, trying to escape Jack's amusement.
"Lovely to meet you? Come for dinner?" the Colonel teased. "My, my Daniel. Been batting those blue eyes at the General's wife?"
"No!" Daniel practically shouted, his head jerking up. "I just -- I hardly even spoke to her. I wouldn’t even know her if I saw her again."
Jack figured that was probably true. They had all been at the reception General Markam and his wife hosted the previous evening. Daniel and Jack had been together for most of the evening, and they had spent very little time with their hostess. Apparently it was enough time for Mrs Markam to decide she wanted to do a little digging of her own.
"It would appear Mrs. Markam wishes to rectify that situation," Teal’c observed.
Daniel gaped at Teal’c. Embarrassed and speechless, Jack thought. That had to be a first. After a moment when no one else spoke either, Daniel turned to General Hammond.
"Wasn’t there something you wanted to discuss, General?"
"Aren’t you even going to offer us a piece of candy?" Sam asked, refusing to let Daniel off the hook easily.
Daniel shoved the box in Sam’s direction, but his eyes remained focused on the General, begging for mercy. Hammond’s just-barely-a-smile expression passed quickly across his face, and he took pity on Daniel.
"All right people, let's get back to the issue at hand."
**********
Half an hour later Hammond dismissed the briefing. Before anyone had the opportunity to resume teasing him, Daniel was out of his chair, headed for the door. Jack found him in his office a few minutes later. He was leaning over his desk, scribbling away on a notepad, muttering to himself.
"You forgot these," Jack said, depositing the chocolate, wine and roses on an unoccupied table.
Daniel dropped his pen and looked up. If Jack didn’t know they were safely ensconced in Daniel’s office, he would have thought the look in Daniel’s eyes was terror.
"What am I going to do, Jack?"
"About what?"
"About what? About that." Daniel gestured to the collection of gifts now decorating his office.
"It’s good wine. And I’ve never known you to pass up chocolate. Enjoy it."
Enjoy it? Daniel’s mouth formed the words, but no sound came out. Jack grinned.
"Daniel, a per–"
"Jack, I can’t enjoy that. It’s – it’s – you’re supposed to reciprocate gifts like that. With dinner or something."
"Well, she extended a dinner invitation."
"Jack, she’s a general’s wife. I can’t have dinner with her!"
Daniel’s voice was rising in mild panic; Jack couldn’t resist stringing him along a bit.
"Daniel, it’s not like she asked you to meet her at a cheap motel."
Daniel was gaping again. Jack knew he wasn’t playing fair, but Daniel’s panic was making it just too easy.
"Jack, you aren’t serious. You don’t really think I should encourage this woman. She sent me gifts - expensive gifts. She tried to deliver them in person. In public. Well, in front of people anyway. What do you think she wants?"
Okay, okay, mild panic was starting to border on hysteria. Daniel was doing the self-hug thing. Jack hated that; it meant Daniel felt alone and overwhelmed. Daniel might not get the military mind-set, but he sure enough understood that it would be a very bad thing to get caught up in a relationship with the wife of a powerful General. And a woman brazen enough to openly send the gifts she had probably wasn’t the kind of woman Jack wanted to see his friend involved with anyway.
Daniel was pacing now. Hugging and pacing. Not a good sign. Time to inject some Jack O’Neill support into the situation. Time to be that calming influence on stressed out people.
"Daniel, relax. This will go away."
"When?" Daniel asked from the far side of the room.
"In a few weeks. Mrs. Markam met an attractive, mysterious young man – "
"Mysterious?" He was back at the desk fiddling with some little stone ball with funny markings on it.
"Your work is classified, Daniel. Trust me, she thinks you’re mysterious. She also thinks you’re adorable, clueless and completely defenseless against her. But you’re not."
"I’m not?" Other side of the room again, one hand tracing the writing scrawled on newsprint and taped to the bookshelf.
"Nope, you’ve got me."
"Great."
"Hey! You wanna fight this battle by yourself, be my guest. You’ll be roped and tied by Tuesday." Daniel didn’t answer. He was back at his desk, both arms wrapped securely around his chest, staring at the notes he had been scribbling when Jack first arrived. "That’s what I thought."
"I’m just no good at this stuff, Jack. I never have been."
"You don’t have to be, Daniel. Just refuse to be drawn in. Be polite, but stand your ground. Send a thank you note for the gifts, but don’t mention the dinner invitation. She’ll probably send more stuff. She’ll call and invite you to dinner, or to some party. Say ‘thank you, no.’ You have other obligations. You’re going to be away. Whatever. Just say no."
"And that’ll work?" Daniel sounded doubtful.
"Well, it probably wouldn’t hurt to hole up at the SGC for the next few weeks, where she can’t get her hands on you," Jack added helpfully.
"Gee, thanks, Jack."
**********
‘A few weeks’ proved to be a conservative estimate. Flowers of every variety arrived at the SGC with alarming frequency for the next two months. Chocolates, embroidered silk handkerchiefs and other trinkets appeared less often, but usually just in time to fuel a new round of teasing from SGC personnel as snickers from the previous offering died out. Daniel shared the chocolates with whomever happened to be around, sent the flowers to the infirmary or the commissary, and endured the rest with all the grace he could muster – while holing up at the SGC for as long as he could stand it.
Then one day instead of flowers or chocolate, he received only an envelope. Sergeant Hamilton had stopped tracking Daniel down to hand him the latest arrival personally. Hamilton simply delivered whatever came, directly to Daniel’s office. The envelope was waiting on Daniel’s desk when he and Jack returned from an afternoon sparring session. A bored sigh escaped Daniel’s lips as he slit open the envelope and drew out the note. He scanned it silently until Jack cleared his throat more loudly than necessary.
"Aloud, please," Jack requested when Daniel looked up. Daniel rolled his eyes, but did as he was asked.
"Dearest Daniel, I’m afraid you won’t be hearing from me for quite some time. You are absolutely adorable, and I have loved our little game of cat and mouse. You’re quite a clever mouse; I’ve barely even caught a glimpse of your gorgeous face these last few weeks. But as I said, I’m afraid it must come to an end. Lyle is taking me on a cruise around the world. Perhaps I could convince you to come along? No, probably not. You’re much too clever for that, and Lyle probably wouldn’t be fond of the idea either. Too bad. I would promise to pick up where we leave off when I return, but you know how fickle cats are – I’m sure I’ll meet some tall, dashing young man on board the ship and forget all about you. Lyle will be off shooting skeet from the stern of the ship, so there will be plenty of time for margaritas by the pool. Don’t be too upset. Good-bye, my sweet. Charlotte."
Jack was grinning when Daniel looked up.
"What’s so funny?’
"The look of relief on your face."
"You said a few weeks. It’s been eight."
"And a half. But it’s over now. What do you say we go find Carter and Teal’c and celebrate your return from exile with a steak dinner?"
**********
The steaks were perfect. Jack poured the last of the wine and offered up the after dinner toast.
"To Charlotte Markam, and General Markam, and tall, dashing young men sipping margaritas by the pool on world cruises."
"Cheers," Daniel agreed.
<Fin>
© May 5, 2001 The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa'uld and all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.
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