Can't breathe. Can't breathe! God, I need air. Help me! Jack!
The darkness tightens around my chest, squeezing the life out of me. I kick savagely against the black force, fighting to escape. My skin is burning from the cold. Gravity and waterlogged clothing are pulling me down, further from the surface. The blurry smear of light is fading. I claw with numb hands at the icy water that is killing me. My pounding heartbeat thunders in my ears as I thrash, churning the dark water in my desperate bid to reach the air. I have to breathe!
"Got ya," Jack's gleeful voice rings out through the crisp afternoon. I shrug off the splattered remains of a snowball from the front of my jacket. Sometimes you'd think the man was ten years old.
"We're going to be late, Jack," I admonish him as I head towards the parking lot. WHAP Right between the shoulder blades. "Okay, that's it."
"What?" Jack gives me a wide eyed look.
"You realize, of course," I say as I scoop up a fist full of snow, "that this means war."
The air is thick with flying snowballs as we duck and dodge across the lot. The few airmen in the area gave us a wide birth. Laughing breathlessly I manage to score a few good hits. Jack vows vengeance after a spectacular whump to the chest. I run around the back end of a Subaru only to take a wet one in the face. My glasses fly off on impact.
"Hold it." I throw up my hands in surrender. "No fair blinding the opposition."
Jack fishes my glasses out of the slush. With a sheepish grin, he hands them back.
"Sorry about that."
"I just bet you are." Icy dribbles are making their way down the inside of my shirt.
"Come on, let's get inside. I could use some coffee."
"That sounds good."
"Hurry up Jackson," Jack slaps me on the shoulder. " You're going to make us late."
A final burst of panic driven energy gives me the strength to push my way to the blue-white shimmer above. My questing hand hits the light. The shock of its hard surface reverberates through my body. In horror, I pound my fists against the layer of ice that separates me from the precious air. Digging my nails into its pitted underbelly, I try to break through. But the grip of the water is too strong. It pulls me down. I flail but there is nothing to grab onto. The blackness rushes up to blot out the light.
Snow is falling as we walk out of the shop. I shift the bags I am carrying and hurry to catch up with Sam.
"Let's grab something to eat before we start looking for shoes," she says as she unlocks her car.
"Shoes? Sam, I have shoes already."
"You'll need new ones to go with the stuff we just bought."
"Sam, come on. Give me a break." I toss the bags into the back seat and dust the snow off my coat before climbing in beside her. She has turned the engine over and cranked up the heat.
"Daniel I never do anything half way. After lunch, shoes."
"Yes, Sam."
I am all too familiar with that look in her big blue eyes. Sighing, I give up. There is no point in arguing. Shoes it is. When Sam had suggested a little shopping trip today, I was happy to oblige her. I thought she just wanted some company, maybe someone to carry the packages. I should have known better.
"You're going to look great in the blue suit. The alterations will be finished by Tuesday. Don't forget to pick it up."
"Yes, Sam."
"I'm still not convinced that we shouldn't have gone with that stripped tie. It would have had a little more pizzazz."
"Yes, Sam."
"Daniel," she turns to me, brows drawn together, "you don't mind me helping you pick out some new clothes, do you? I mean, we have this big meeting with the Secretary of Defense coming up and that brown suit of yours is so tired. You look fine in it and everything but . . ."
"It's okay Sam. I appreciate you looking out for me. I don't give much thought to what I'm wearing."
The grin on her face says she agrees with me there. Since when did my wardrobe become such a sore point for the rest of the team? I like plaid shirts. Sue me.
"Let's stop at Darby's for lunch. They make a killer roast beef sandwich," she suggests, turning a million watt smile on me. How can anyone say no to that?
The cold is quickly stealing away my ability to fight. I struggle to kick against the icy blackness sucking me down . My lungs are screaming for oxygen. Which way is up? God help me, I can't tell any more.
"Thank you Daniel Jackson for bringing me to this place."
"No problem, Teal'c. I thought you might like it."
We sit side by side on the rock overhang and watch the birds wheeling below us in the canyon. It is going to be a beautiful day. I love the Grand Mesa, even on a nippy day like this. The desert like quality of the land makes my heart ache for days gone by.
"This place reminds me of the southern lands of Chulak. I feel . . . at home."
"I'm glad."
The sun rising over the mountains turns their rocky sides red and orange. Stone outcroppings glow golden against the brightening sky. The ghost of trees cast darker shadows within the rising mist. The light breeze, cold and clean, wraps around us as we sit and admire the beauty in a silence that says much.
Shattered images twist and whirl in the icy currents. Fragments of dreams, snatches of conversations curl through my frozen mind. The faces of friends, my mother's smile, Jack's laughter echo in the blackness. I struggle against the tide of regret. So many things unsaid. So much left to do. I want to scream my rage, but I have no air left, only dark water and scattered memories.
A muffled roar fills my ears. Chunks of ice are driven down into the dark with me. They bob in the churning waters. Something hits me in the cheek. A dull glint of metal. My skin is too cold to register pain, but I can feel the pressure of the blow against my scalp as the thing hits me again. With the last of my strength I force my hand up to touch the thing in the darkness with me. A branch? A pole? No, a staff weapon. Teal'c! I can barely make out the tip of it as it sweeps above my head. I try to grab it but the icy numbness in my hands won't let me. I'm sorry guys. The blackness engulfs me.
"Hey sleepyhead. It's about time you decided to wake up," Jack's grinning face looms over me. I blink gritty eyes and try to focus.
"Wha. . ." my aching throat is too dry to let the words pass. Jack offers a cup with a straw. I suck down the water. "What happened?"
"Before or after you fell through the ice on P4X-264?"
"Um, after."
"When we couldn't fish you out, Teal'c jumped in. He hauled you up and we headed for the 'gate."
"I didn't think I was going to make it."
"Next time be a little more careful, will ya? You almost gave poor Junior a bad case of frost bite."
"I'll be sure to apologize next time I see him."
"Teal'c and Carter''ll be back up here shortly. You were taking your own sweet time waking up, so I sent them to the cafeteria to get some grub."
"Jack," my voice sounds scratchy as I try to put my churning thoughts into words. There's so much I want to say. Where can I begin? How can I tell him what he means to me? What they all mean to me? What can I possibly say to express the depth of gratitude and friendship I feel? "Thanks."
He smiles and puts a hand on my shoulder. I guess for us, that says it all.
Finis
© December 19, 2000 The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa'uld and all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.
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