They didn't remove the body for days. He knew the guards had seen it, had known that no breath remained within, but all they did was laugh and leave it there. The anger he should have felt was not there. He didn't even have the urge to curse and spit at their faces when they came, shoving plates of food under the slot, plus one empty plate.
There was no dignity in dying.
Not this way. Not in here.
He stared at the body, pushed to the corner by the others. He watched as the rats scampered away from it when he tossed one of the popped buttons of his torn fatigues at them. Dully, he stared back at the eyes that he couldn't bring himself to close, even after the last breath was drawn.
Finally he staggered up, shrugged his own jacket off and placed it over the sightless eyes out of respect. But he suspected that it was more out of stopping the queasy feeling that the face staring at nothing, was soon going to be his...
Jack jerked awake, hissing as his side heatedly reminded him that it was a dumb move. His hand automatically came up to his sore chest before he realized it. Rubbing ruefully at the tight binding, Jack glanced back at Daniel sleeping inches away from him. The young man had turned during his slumber, and was now facing Jack.
Even in sleep, Daniel's pale face was lined with pain around the eyes and mouth - the dim lighting didn't successfully hide the burns near his temples and the bruises that marred his face. His forehead glistened with a fevered sweat. When Jack felt it with the back of his hand, he was relieved when he realized that it was only slight. But just in case, Jack drew the covers closer to Daniel's chin, preserving the heat the fever was leeching away from his friend's ailing body.
The drawn blankets, the curled up frame, a face half concealed by the white pillow, made him appear young and calm. It was a difference from the feral look he had when Jack first found him, huddling in that dirty corner, his head hidden under blood-smeared arms. Now he didn't look terrified. Now, he just looked small. Very small.
He stared at the body, pushed to the corner by the others, his own jacket placed over the sightless eyes out of respect.
Jack shuddered. Weren't dreams supposed to fade with each waking minute? Not intensify to the point that it superimposed itself upon reality?
Jack grabbed for the pitcher of water, pouring himself a glass - he grasped the glass with both hands, before emptying the entire contents down his parched throat. When it was empty, Jack set it down on the table next to the bed. He misjudged the distance and it slammed down so loudly, it made him jump.
Daniel moaned softly, wincing as his back twinged. Groggily, he opened his eyes.
"Ja'k?"
"Hey. Didn't mean to wake you."
Jack grinned, hoping the shadows around the room would disguise the fact that it was forced.
"Ja'k?" The anthropologist squinted in the dim light.
Jack leaned forward a bit so Daniel could see.
"Aren't you going to say anything else besides that?"
He patted Daniel's hand to show that he was joking.
"W'ter?" Daniel ran his tongue over his lower lip as he tried again. His voice cracked a bit. "Pl'ase, Ja'k?"
The older man nodded.
"Doc said ice chips for now. Your throat is a bit sore because they took the breathing tube out of you. Take it easy for now. Okay?"
"'Kay..." Daniel looked longingly at the cup Jack reached out for by the bed. Without another word, he opened his mouth and closed his eyes as Jack spooned some ice chips into his mouth.
"Better?" Jack asked quietly, still holding on to the cup.
Daniel nodded, not speaking. His eyes were still closed as he sucked the refreshing moisture out of the ice. After a moment though, he opened his eyes again and fixed them on Jack.
"What?" the older man asked nervously.
Turning away, Daniel stared at the ceiling.
"I still don't...r-remember, Ja'k." His voice was hoarse and Jack knew it probably hurt to talk, but Daniel pressed on. "Wh't happened?"
"Don't worry about it for now, Daniel." Jack waved the cup towards him and placed it away when Daniel weakly shook his head. "There's plenty of time for that later when you're better."
Sighing, Daniel turned back to look at Jack. His blue eyes, though slightly unfocused, bored right through the colonel. Jack looked away, then, realizing how that must have appeared, he forced himself to face the anthropologist again. The two locked stares for a long time before Daniel sighed again and broke the contact.
"W-why can't I rem... remember, Ja'k?"
Daniel weakly lifted his left hand to brush away a stray hair, pausing at the sight of the heavily bound gauze on his wrists. He then raised his right hand and saw the same. Daniel was opening his mouth to ask when his eyes strayed upon the IV attached to his arm. He gazed at the bottle hanging above him, tracked the line down to his arm, where a needle was inserted into his vein, secured into place with surgical tape. Although covered, Daniel could see the sharp impression of a needle.
Needle.
"Daniel?" Jack leaned forward when he saw the minute shuddering.
Needle. Pricking his skin, digging deeper into his flesh, hot pain stabbing inside, all because he refused.
"Daniel?" The colonel frowned when he saw that Daniel wasn't responding.
Because he refused.
"Danny?" Jack's voice rose a bit in alarm.
He did refuse... right?
The young man was staring at his hands for some reason, mouth slightly opened but no words coming out. Jack reached out, touching Daniel on the shoulder. Jerking away, Daniel's hands automatically lashed out towards his assailant. Catching Jack in the ribs, the blow made the older man grunt. That sound brought Daniel back to reality. He blinked, confused.
"Oh God... Ja'k... I'm s-sorry..." Daniel stammered as he tried to sit up to see if Jack was okay.
He grimaced, his hands immediately going to his stomach. Jack grabbed Daniel by the shoulders in time before the young man could fall sideways.
"Hey, take it easy. Let me go get the Doc-" Jack began, getting up from his seat.
"No!"
Daniel's hands whipped out and grabbed Jack's before they could leave his shoulders completely. His eyes grew wide, almost turning into circles.
"No... don't!"
"Daniel, you're hurting here. Let me get-"
"No..." Daniel shook his head vehemently, his voice trembling, and turning into a whimper. "Alone... no... please..."
Jack's legs no longer had the strength to move, to turn around to get Fraiser, so he plopped down on the chair again. Awkwardly, he squeezed back, feeling the desperate grip on his fingers before removing them from Daniel's shoulders. He then helped Daniel back down on the bed, watching carefully for any sign of discomfort. Jack paid extra attention to tucking the blankets back in, unable to bring himself to look at Daniel, at the pleading in those eyes.
He couldn't figure out what they were begging for.
"S-sorry..." Daniel whispered.
Sighing, Jack shook his head.
"It's all right, Daniel," Jack said, leaning into the chair - he felt his back curling uncomfortably against the plastic surface. "Just get some sleep."
Daniel looked at Jack hopefully. Hesitant fingers reached out and snagged a corner of Jack's shirt.
"H're?"
Jack nodded mutely. He watched Daniel relax, eyes fluttering shut again into sleep. Massaging his temples, Jack tilted his head back and stared at the ceiling.
"Tesh is awake."
Jolting out of his seat, Jack whirled around, one hand back protectively to his side.
"Shit, Doc! Give the guy a heart attack, why don't you?"
Janet stood by the doorway, silhouetted by the hallway lights. Her face was unreadable as she continued to speak.
"I just took a blood sample. We're having it tested right now. Should only be an hour or so till we can compare it with Smith's. Captain Carter and Teal'c are talking to Smith right now-"
"He's coherent?" Jack looked away - to Daniel, making sure the conversation wasn't waking him up.
"To say the least," the doctor replied shortly. She moved in to the room.
Gently, she took one of Daniel's wrists, and compared the pulse with her watch. Although the monitors could do just the same for her, Janet knew the reassuring human touch could do so much more than an IV or a syringe could. But the feel of the slack hand, limp in her palm and painfully chilled, only reminded her how fragile the man on the bed was. She glanced over to Jack.
"Had he said anything at all?"
Jack's face stilled, devoid of any expression.
"No. Doesn't remember anything."
"You don't look too upset about that," Janet said softly.
"Don't know what you're talking about." Jack crossed his arms, signaling the conversation was over.
"You're going to stay here all night?"
Jack kept silent.
"I'll have one of the staff ready that empty bed over there so you could get some rest-"
"Not tired," Jack grated.
"Humor me. Okay?"
"Fine."
Jack didn't say anything else, his shoulders stiff, and his back ram-rod straight.
Seeing that there was nothing more could be said, nothing more she could do, Janet left the room, feeling very much like an intruder into something she didn't understand.
Jack didn't even acknowledge her departure.
Sam watched silently as Smith paced the cell. She mentally calculated all the injuries he had sustained and how none of them seemed to be showing their effects right now. It was nothing short of a miracle.
"What did I do?"
Smith's hoarse voice sounded disembodied over the PA, as he stared into the security cameras which were unsympathetically recording his agitated pacing. The large man ran a hand through military cut hair. Abruptly, he whirled around, banging on the wall with his fist.
Carter jumped despite the fact that she was in the next room with Janet and General Hammond and not in there with Smith.
Clearing his throat, Hammond leaned closer to the microphone and spoke into it.
"Lieutenant Smith?"
"Sir."
Smith automatically stood up straighter, but his shoulders slumped soon after when it came to him that he was the only one in the room.
"General Hammond, sir."
"At ease, soldier," Hammond said, his voice holding a gentle note in it. He glanced over to Fraiser as he continued. "It's just a precautionary measure, until the blood work clears with Doctor Fraiser, son."
Smith sighed, his voice sounded tinny in the speakers.
"I see."
"But I'm afraid we have to ask-"
"About what happened?" Smith said abruptly.
"Yes, son."
Smith looked up startled.
"Did I really die?"
This time, Janet answered.
"We tried all we could, but the internal injuries were too severe. You died... I mean... your heart... stopped on the table."
"I see the stitches, Doc," Smith said softly, fingering his T-shirt, as if feeling every knot underneath. "I'm not dead."
"We know that." Hammond took over again. "What happened?"
Smith paused. "Where should I begin?"
"What do you remember?"
"Hell." Smith whispered. "Hell."
+++++++++++++++++++++++++
P7J973 smelled like apples. That was Smith's impression when he took his first whiff of air on the planet. The scent was so strong that he actually looked around, to see if there were thriving rows of apple trees surrounding them.
"All clear, Major," Tesh announced as he nodded towards Doctor Jackson. "All yours, Doc. Whenever you're ready."
Daniel Jackson blinked, tearing his eyes away from the ruins he could see in the distance.
"What? Oh. Thank you."
He hurried down the steps, one hand already patting around his jacket for his notebook. The men held back a chuckle as they watched the anthropologist stumble a little in his haste.
Major Sanders chuckled. "I think he was ready before they starting calling out chevron one." The tall man eyed his men, deciding on their duties.
"Stone, you go ahead with Jackson. Smith, you and Tesh set camp around the perimeter of the site. I'll patrol first, circle back in an hour. Okay?"
"Yes, sir."
"Will do."
"Yes, sir."
Sanders rubbed his chin thoughtfully as he eyed the direction Jackson and Stone went off in.
"After camp, keep an eye on Jackson, okay? Colonel O'Neill made it pretty clear he wants his linguist back in one piece."
The other two men grinned, exchanging a look with one another.
"Yes, sir," they chorused.
Saluting sharply, the two headed for the village ruins, their gear in tow.
"So you and Tesh weren't with Dan... I mean, Doctor Jackson at the time?" Sam interrupted.
"Major didn't see a need for it. There were no signals, nothing that would indicate anyone still hanging around there. We were suppose to set camp, let the Doc do his thing, then set up a permanent base for future explorations. Standard."
Smith sat down on the floor, scowling at the camera.
"Standard," Hammond murmured. "So what happened?"
"Me and Tesh got base set up and radioed Stone that we were heading over there to keep them company. He said fine and gave us their location. They were near the edge of the village and-"
"What was the village like?" Sam asked, jumping in again.
"Quiet. Dusty. Old." Smith shrugged. "Everything looked to be in working order. Hell, even the wells still had drinking water in them. But no one was around. The fireplaces were cold, and some had even caved in over the years. No one lived there." Smith rubbed his face wearily with his hands. "No one. There should have been no one." He trailed off, muttering to himself.
"Lieutenant?" Janet eyed the monitors worriedly, reading the sensors' data. So far, pulse and heart rate normal, but Janet didn't know what to expect at this point.
"There should have been no one, but we... I mean me and Tesh, sir... we kept having this funny feeling."
"Feeling?" Hammond echoed.
"That... that we were being watched."
"Stone, you still there?"
Smith paused long enough to whip out his communicator. He eyed the abandoned buildings at the distance with a wary eye. Then he turned back to the forest. Faintly, he heard birds and relaxed.
"Stone, can you read me?"
The radio crackled to life.
"Yeah, Smith. Jackson's in front of me, doing... stuff."
Tesh chuckled, amused at the choice of words.
"Stuff? Is that the technical term ?"
Stone snorted, his voice sounding like a muffled boom over the radio.
"Well that's how he put it. I asked him and sort of mumbled something when... what the hell?"
"Stone?" Smith grabbed the radio with both hands. "Stone? Hey, John?"
The radio crackled a little and he thought he heard Stone shouting in the distance, before the radio went silent.
The two soldiers looked at each other.
"Shit," Tesh said, whipping out his rifle.
"Major Sanders! This is Smith. Do you read?" the soldier barked into the radio.
Their CO replied immediately.
"Here. Where are you?"
"Three minutes away from the site, sir. We were online with Stone when he got cut off."
"Cut off?" Sanders' voice rose in volume. "What do you mean cut off? I'm just over the ridge, I'll be there in-" Suddenly Sanders' signal was gone.
"Sir?" Tesh grabbed his radio. "Major Sanders."
Gunfire.
Smith whipped out his sidearm.
"Where did that come from?"
In the distance, muffled sounds, abrupt and sharp, rang out through the forest. Alien creatures, startled by the unfamiliar sounds, squawked then fled the scene, rushing past the startled soldiers.
"Shit, do we head back the Stargate and get-" Smith didn't finish when he heard Sanders suddenly screaming into the radio.
"Smith! Tesh! Get back to the Stargate! Now! I just saw them! It's h-"
The radio went dead just as an explosion was heard. The two soldiers whirled around towards that direction and found themselves surrounded by Jaafa guards, their foreheads tattooed with two slanted lines, curved in at the center.
"Kneel!" one of the guards spat out. "Kneel before your god!"
A sharp blow to his right and Smith took out one guard, but before he could do more, he heard a staff weapon discharge and the searing heat on his side burned the daylight from his vision. Darkness took over and the last thing he saw was a slim figure approaching the clearing, and Doctor Jackson being dragged between two guards.
"Fools!" the velvety voice sang out. "We needed him alive..."
And then there was nothing.
There was an awkward silence in the room. The only sounds were the whirring of the monitors.
"I mean... I was... I was... dead..." Smith frowned as he finished. "That shot should have cleaned my gut out."
"Sarcophagus?" Sam whispered. Janet shrugged.
"I didn't find any burn marks where he said he was struck," Janet whispered back. "It is plausible."
"So what we may have here is a Goa'uld posing as a god," Hammond added, frowning, the idea not appealing to him at all.
"B-but... I couldn't have been dead..." Smith whispered.
Carter turned back her attention to the screen.
"Excuse me?"
"I woke up in a cell almost a day later."
Sam turned to look at Janet.
"How did you know a day had passed?"
"Growth of beard," Smith replied, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "Had a day's growth at least. Have to shave every day so I can tell."
"Was anyone else with you?"
Smith's eyes darkened.
"Yeah..."
Adjusting to the darkness of the cell, Smith slowly made out two shapes keeping him company. He coughed, spitting water out and tried to call out their names, but his throat burned. Wincing, Smith got up groggily, then felt his way around the stone wall, to the two.
Tesh and Stone.
He looked around his cell again, noting the window above his head, too high to reach and the window on the cell door. He didn't see Sanders or Jackson. His frown deepened.
"W-who's there?" a voice asked, coughing.
Smith looked down and saw Stone snake a hand out to his ankle. He hunched down and tapped the ground.
"John, it's me."
"Tom?"
"Yeah."
"Where the hell are we?" Stone muttered. He made a face, turned over and sputtered, dry heaving. Smith gripped his friend's arm tightly.
"You ask me." Smith shrugged.
"I just did, stupid," Stone tried to joke.
Chuckling lightly, Smith helped Stone up. Settling his friend against the wall, he checked Tesh's pulse.
"How is he?"
"Pulse is steady. Looks like he was just knocked out."
Smith paused. He fingered his fatigues, feeling the hole in the fabric.
"What?"
"I should have been dead," Smith mumbled.
"What?" Stone sat up straighter.
Smith showed him the uniform.
"Not that I'm complaining, but last time I checked, people from Kentucky don't have an immunity to staff weapon blasts."
"Yeah."
Stone turned his head when he saw Tesh was stirring. Smith sighed in relief when the soldier got up on his own.
"Someone get the number of that salsa party in my head?" Tesh groaned.
Stone chuckled, pounding the man soundly on the back. Tesh gagged and Stone backed off.
"Sorry," Stone murmured as Tesh turned his head to retch.
"Shit. I feel like I have a hangover," Tesh moaned.
"Well that's three." Smith calculated. "Anyone remember anything?"
"I saw you get a hole on your gut," Tesh recalled, narrowing his eyes at Smith.
"Speaking of which-"
Smith showed him the hole in the uniform.
"I'm okay for some reason. I saw Jackson."
"Me too, before it was lights out."
"I saw Major Sanders before they came," Stone volunteered.
"Where?"
Smith paced the cell, one hand running along the wall to measure the room. It was too dark to see across it.
"He was coming down from the east ridge when they attacked me and Jackson."
"Oh man," Tesh moaned. "Jackson. Well, I'm on O'Neill's shit list now!"
Smith grimaced.
"No kidding. We better find a way out of here and get Jack-"
A scream broke through the silence and the three men jumped.
"Shit," Stone breathed. "What the hell was that?"
Suddenly the door swung open and they saw a tall Jaafa guard standing there with his staff weapon.
"Come," he snarled and the three men found themselves separated, being led down different corridors.
Smith tried to see where the others went but a sound slap to his head discouraged it. Dazed, his head dropped down to stare at the repetitive pattern of the stones on the floor until the darkness suddenly became light.
Eyes wincing at the sudden brightness, Smith at first didn't see the shackles that hung from the ceiling. When white light finally became the hues of reality, Smith saw Jackson.
The young scientist hung there by his torn wrists, dangling inches off the ground.
Smith swallowed at the surge of bile in his throat when he saw the grooves on Jackson's back, peeking through the torn shirt. In a cruel gesture, the guard placed the glasses they had set aside, back on the anthropologist's face.
"Jackson?" Smith whispered, trying not to cry out as the guards wrestled his arms into similar shackles. "Doctor Jackson!"
The scientist moaned softly, receiving a lash on his back for speaking. Smith winced as he cried out in pain, arching his back trying to avoid the blows. Smith could see a figure in the shadows of the room, eyes glowing, laughing softly as the guard lashed out with the whip again and-
"That's enough," Hammond managed to grate out.
He glanced over to Carter, who looked pale. Janet swallowed as she stepped back and sat down, one hand over her mouth. Smith was now seated in the center of the room, looking dazed, as his voice trailed off.
"After... after what they did to Doctor Jackson," Hammond said, closing his eyes briefly. "What happened next?"
"What happened next?" Smith repeated in a flat voice. He looked up, his eyes dull.
"Then... it was my turn."
Smith grunted as the guards threw him back in the cell and slammed the door shut. The soldier gritted his teeth as he struggled to his feet, gasping as muscles spasmed, clenching tight over bloody wounds. He eyed his new surroundings, the room was smaller, but still with the same windows. One outside, one on the door. Wearily, Smith noted that it was dark now.
"I woke up and the light was very bright in the window and so I knew it was the next afternoon," Smith said numbly. "Then... they came back."
It felt like Smith had barely laid his head down to sleep when they came through the door again. As they dragged him down the hallways once more, he saw blearily that he was passing by the same room as before - Doctor Jackson had been returned to where he had been hanging, in the shackles again-
"Wait," Sam choked out. Not because she didn't want to hear, although secretly she didn't, there was one thing she had realized. "Where were the others?"
"Don't know," Smith whispered. "I heard them, but the guards never brought them back to the cell. I think we were kept separated at that point. They didn't put us back together until a week later. After I saw O'Neill-"
"What?" Hammond leaned closer to the microphone. "You saw Colonel O'Neill?"
"Yes sir," Smith grated out. "I saw him talking to Doctor Jackson on one of those days they came for me."
Feet limp, trailing blood across the halls, Smith didn't bother trying to move. He was trying to conserve what little strength he had left. Now that the others were with him, they could have a chance of escape and picking fights now with the guards was not an option. So he let them drag him like a piece of meat, back to his cell.
"Ja'k?"
Smith's head came up painfully and he saw, through the same doorway, a man standing there. He was standing in front of Doctor Jackson, who was still hanging from his shackles. He couldn't hear what the man was saying but as he turned to leave, Smith heard Jackson cry out O'Neill's name again. The guards hauled Smith roughly to his feet, approaching his room. Smith turned his head and caught the sight of a familiar face, with glowing eyes-
"His eyes were glowing?" Sam asked.
"I figured that he never really got rid of that worm from last time," Smith said dully. "He was there with Jackson and he called the colonel's name." Smith scowled. "All I knew was that the man was there! And then hewalked out!" Smith shot to his feet. "He left us behind. They all saw him, and I knew that if I was ever got out... I was going to kill him!"
The three looked at each other speechless.
"Smith..." Carter started to say. "You were only gone for three days."
The man shook his head.
"I counted the number of times daylight showed through that window. I know it was two weeks!"
Hammond cleared his throat, his voice soft.
"Son... you were in an underground complex. SG-1 and SG-3 found the underground facility three miles outside of the village. There were no outside lights whatsoever."
Smith stared at the camera, stunned.
"B-but..."
"I think it was a ploy," Sam stepped in, her eyes on the screen, even though Smith could not see it. "A ploy to wear you down."
Smith gnawed at his lower lip. "They didn't say what they wanted... or at least... what I can remember..."
"No questions?" Hammond asked.
"None." Smith rubbed his face with his hands. "It was just the guards taking us out of the room, waking us up when there was daylight shining through the window, dragging us out and then..." Smith dropped his head on his drawn up knees. "Sometimes they would remember to give us water. Otherwise..."
Sam sighed. She looked over to General Hammond.
"Sir?"
"There must have been a reason," Hammond said, not wanting to accept that it was all just random that they were chosen. "Doctor?"
Janet looked at her watch.
"I have to get the results from the lab and check on Tesh. Maybe we'll be able to find out more with that."
"We'll be here," Carter said softly. "For as long as it takes."
Janet nodded curtly, turned on her heel and left. Behind her, as the door closed, she heard Hammond continuing.
"I know it's hard, son. But we need you to go over that again. Maybe we'll catch something there..."
++++++++++++++++++++
Booker chewed on his thumbnail nervously as Anderson paced.
"Man, he's pretty quiet now."
"He has been sedated by Doctor Fraiser," Teal'c said stiffly, joining the two to stand guard.
When Tesh had first woken up, the enraged man had literally punched a hole in the wall before he and three others could restrain him long enough for Fraiser to subdue him. The Jaafa eyed the cell's window, observing the sleeping man, hunched over by the corner.
"Ain't right," Anderson muttered. "First Tom. Now Tesh. Shit, at least Tom's awake now, but what the hell is going on here?"
"Terry-" Booker murmured.
"I do not know, but perhaps Lieutenant Smith will be able to reveal what happened on P7J973." Teal'c nodded towards Janet as he saw her coming. "Doctor Fraiser."
"Teal'c," Janet greeted him. She eyed the doorway. "Still out?"
"He has not moved for the past one hour and fifteen minutes," Teal'c informed her.
Booker leaned closer to Anderson.
"He doesn't have a watch... how does he do that?"
"Shut the hell up," Anderson hissed, turning a little red when the Jaafa raised an eyebrow towards him. He looked straight ahead again.
Janet sighed.
"I've got the lab results back, but I need another sample to be sure. Teal'c, can you come with me?"
"Of course," Teal'c nodded.
He stood there waiting as Booker fumbled for the keys. Anderson stood by the door, waiting, his eyes glued to the window, watching Tesh. Fraiser paused as Teal'c stepped inside. At the Jaafa's nod, she entered, her hands digging into her pockets for a syringe.
Abruptly, Tesh lurched forward, his elbow ramming into Teal'c's stomach.
Anderson shouted as Booker rushed in but before either man could sound the alarm, they heard the doctor cry out. Anderson was just in time to catch Fraiser as she was tossed out roughly by Tesh. The sergeant grunted as the smaller body impacted with his and felt himself slammed down hard on the floor. Then he felt himself hauled up.
"Inside," Tesh growled, shoving Anderson inside with the others.
He swung the door shut. Growling as he saw the four lying there unmoving, he stalked away.
He felt himself being dragged out again. His feet couldn't hold him up so the guards just dragged him through the hallways, passing the doors where the others were, to the room where everything would start again. As usual, in order to survive, he allowed his mind to drift away, as far away as it could from the sight of the chair, the devices, and the person waiting inside...
Jack started, nearly falling off his chair. Glowering at his watch, the colonel realized that he had drifted off to sleep again.
Stirring slightly, Daniel murmured something in his sleep, frowning as his mind dredged up whatever it was in his subconscious.
"Easy," Jack whispered, laying a cool hand on Daniel's clammy forehead. The young man turned towards the hand a little, instinctively seeking it's comfort before sighing, and falling into a deeper sleep. Jack left his hand there for a moment before finally pulling it away.
Demons come knocking on his door as soon as he gets back. What will happen when he truly remembers?
Jack crossed his arms; leaning back into his chair, wishing the infirmary wouldn't keep flickering back to the image of a dark cell. He was almost tempted to turn on the lights to their brightest, but Daniel's eyes were still sensitive.
The young man had woken up several times, feebly complaining that the lights were too bright and they had been lowered again until all that was left was the sharp pinpoint glow of the monitors' lights and the occasional flash of bright light from the hallway, with the opening and closing of the door. And still, when Daniel woke up, he would open his eyes, and then shut them as quickly as he could.
Maybe it's not the lights he's afraid to see, Jack thought.
Jack wondered if Daniel was really seeing the infirmary at all. The colonel sighed, wondering how he would to even bring himself to start asking what Daniel saw when he was here.
What Daniel saw... back there.
Jack had a sneaky suspicion that he knew already.
The glass shattered as soon as it hit the wall, the amber liquid it held trickling down the wall like blood onto stone.
Jack stood there, his fists by his sides, his eyes clenched tight, spurred on by the haze of alcohol. He could find nothing more to throw, which was just as well, because he was going to have a hell of a time explaining to Sara already when she and Charlie returned from her father's tomorrow.
That piece of practicality seeped into his consciousness and Jack blinked, finally, focusing on the chaos that lay around him.
The disjointed remains of glass, pottery and paper circled around him and spreading out like a picture of a hurricane. And there he was, Jack O'Neill, sole survivor of a mission blown to hell in Iraq, standing there, at the eye of the storm.
He felt anything but calm.
He could still hear them. Screaming. Begging. Crying. And he was only a mere mortal, with only two hands to clap over his ears, in his pathetic attempts to block out the sounds of four months of hell.
He couldn't forget them.
It wasn't working. The gratitude he felt for just being alive seeemed like a pitiful penance for the torment of sleepless nights, waking up screaming, or the drowning of his senses with thirty proof liquor every night.
Jack sat there, eyes half closed, staring at the wall beyond Daniel's bed. He could almost taste the liquor that had soured his mouth every night back then, for more than two months, before he finally took a mission to South America. That move nearly cost him his marriage, with Sara tearfully telling him the day he left, that she and Charlie might not be waiting for him when... if he came back.
She was, but it had never really been the same after that. And, after the time Jack woke up one day and found his wife curled at the farthest side of their bed, he knew that something had to change. He had to change.
And he did.
Not that I didn't lose them anyway later on, Jack thought darkly.
And he still... couldn't forget. He'd forgiven Cromwell, but he never... ever... forgot.
Jack almost envied Daniel right now.
The older man watched as Daniel stirred slightly, yet another frown lining his forehead, his fingers curling instinctively around the blankets, as if he were trying to hide within them.
Almost, Jack added as an afterthought. Jack sighed again.
He frowned then, remembering that he had felt a lingering warm on the man's forehead before, and he was debating calling Fraiser when he heard the commotion outside.
As Jack turned around, the guard that had been standing outside the private room came flying through the door, crashing to the floor at Jack's feet. The colonel stood up, his chair clattering over, just in time for Tesh to tackle him at the waist.
"Tesh! Wha-"
Jack had no time to finish as he felt the young soldier grab him and the force of the impact pushed him onto the bed, on top of Daniel's legs. The young man moaned at the heavy weight.
Jack cursed, struggling to get Tesh off, to roll off the bed, when he felt a fist rammed into his throat. Gagging, Jack's hands slackened from around Tesh and went automatically for his neck. Suddenly the weight was off of him as Tesh stumbled back to the door and locked it.
The click of the door alerted to Jack to the dire situation he was in, and he lurched back onto his feet. He could feel Daniel waking up, drowsy eyes still too unfocused to see what was going on.
"Ja'k?"
The name brought Jack's eyes to Daniel. The effect on Tesh however, was totally different.
"He was calling for you," Tesh seethed, his fists bunched to his sides. "He was calling for you all the time, wouldn't stop when they tried to shut him up, wouldn't stop!"
Tesh charged at the colonel, eyes blazing with a fury Jack had never seen before.
"And you stood there at the door, watching it all! You bastard!"
Jack grunted, as Tesh knocked into him, old bruises mingling with new as they tumbled over the bed, and down the other side. He could hear Daniel calling out in alarm now, but he didn't have the strength or the air to tell the young scientist to stay put. Grabbing Tesh by the shirt, hoping to subdue the man before Jack was forced to hurt him, Jack tried to throw his opponent to the ground, hoping the impact would stun the man long enough for Jack to get help from outside.
Boots were planted firmly on Jack's chest, as Tesh drew up his legs.
Then again, Jack thought before he grunted when Tesh kicked him, pushing Jack into the bed. The IV stands rattled and Jack could hear Daniel trying to get up now.
"Stay...stay where you are!" Jack wheezed. "Just press that alert button, get some-"
The older man didn't finish as Tesh grabbed him roughly around the chest and he felt the plastic tubing of an unused IV wrap around his throat.
"You left us there to die," Tesh hissed, his mouth close to Jack's ear. "But now it's your turn."
The tubing tightened and Jack sputtered as the last of his air was spent, his lungs heaving, unable to get any more. The last thing he heard before fading away into blackness was Daniel's horrified shouts and pounding on the door.
When Daniel felt something land on his legs, he panicked. He thought for a moment that they had returned to take him there again. The last time, he had tried to hide in the corner, but the guards had found him, dragged him out by the ankles and then beaten him until he was too weak to fight them any more.
Then they took him to...
He couldn't remember.
Shouting. He could hear shouting now.
Daniel wanted to cover his ears. The shouting was so loud. So loud. He could hear the screams of pain from...
From who?
He couldn't remember.
Jack.
He remembered Jack.
Jack was standing there. Watching him as they beat him, as the whip came down again and again. He just watched.
No.
That wasn't true. Jack said it wasn't true. He promised.
Jack wasn't there, watching, when Daniel couldn't pretend to be strong any more, when he lost the battle not to cry out, when he said... yes...
No.
No!
He didn't say yes! He didn't!
It wasn't true!
Jack said it wasn't true!
Daniel called out to Jack. He needed his friend to tell him one more time. Tell him again that it wasn't true.
"Ja'k?"
"He was calling for you. He was calling for you all the time, wouldn't stop when they tried to shut him up, wouldn't stop! And you stood there at the door, watching it all! You bastard!"
Daniel opened his eyes when he heard Tesh's voice. He stiffened when he heard the soldier's accusations.
It wasn't true!
Jack said it wasn't true!
Then he heard the crash.
Daniel pushed himself up, gritting his teeth as his side and back shrieked with the movement. He clung to the rail, about to swing his feet down when one of the IV stands rattled against his bed. He looked down and to his horror, saw Jack slumped there against the bed, looking up at him with dazed brown eyes.
"Stay...stay where you are!" Jack wheezed. "Just press that alert button, get some-"
He didn't finish. Tesh tore off some plastic tubing from somewhere and began to choke Jack.
"Ja'k!" Daniel shouted, tumbling out of the bed. He fell hard onto his knees and everything darkened for a moment. "Ja'k!"
Tesh was frothing at the mouth now, screaming about things Daniel could never believe that Jack could have done. The tubing tighten and Daniel saw Jack's hands slowing down in his struggles.
He had to do something.
Daniel stumbled as he tried to stand, hissing as the burns on his feet flared up when they touched the cold floor. He half sobbed with pain as he tried in vain to reach the IV stand in front of him. It was only a few inches away. Why couldn't he reach it?
There.
Fingers felt cold metal and Daniel nearly sagged with relief. But he couldn't. Not yet. He had to stop Tesh. He had to help Jack.
Dragging the IV stand by the wheels, Daniel staggered over to Tesh.
"Let him go," Daniel mumbled.
Tesh was still screaming.
Stop screaming. Please!
The sounds coming out of Tesh's mouth sounded so familiar, as if he had heard them all before.
"Let him go!" Daniel shouted, trying to reach Tesh.
No time.
"I'm...s-sorry."
And Daniel swung.
The metal pole struck Tesh at the back of the head and almost immediately Tesh released Jack from the strangle hold. The colonel fell to the ground, his hands on his throat, coughing, spluttering. Tesh made no sound as he dropped face down to the floor.
Daniel clung to the IV stand, shivering, staring down at the prone body on the ground. He didn't bother trying to check if Tesh was still alive. Daniel could barely hold on to the metal pole as it was.
"D-daniel?" Jack wheezed, but the young man didn't respond.
The pounding on the door broke Daniel's concentration. He looked numbly at the door, seeing the shadows highlighted at the window there, and shuddered. He turned, starting to head for the door, to let them in, so he could sleep, so he could lie down. He was so tired. He-
"Oh my God..."
Daniel stopped in front of the mirror that was hanging on the bathroom door. He gawked at the image reflected there.
That wasn't him.
"Dan...Daniel?" Jack tried to sit up, tried to wave away the spots dancing in front of his eyes
Daniel touched the bruises on his face tentatively and watched his reflection do the same. His fingers moved up to the burns on the temples.
"You will not refuse any more," a liquid soft voice said as it approached him.
Daniel flinched as he felt slender fingers stroke his cheek, deliberately travelling over the burns near his hairline, over the gash on his jawbone.
"Do you not wish for the pain to disappear?"
He did, but the price was too high.
He felt the device slip over his face again and he couldn't stop himself from whimpering. The voice shushed him like as if he was a child.
"All you have to do is say yes... and it will be all over."
"N-no."
He cringed as he saw the eyes burn with hate now, all gentleness, and all sympathy gone from them.
"Do not mock the fondness I have for you. It will not protect you forever, B-"
"Daniel!"
Jack grabbed the rail of the bed, hauling himself up to his feet. Daniel stood there, barely hanging on to the IV stand, just staring at the mirror. Abruptly, he twisted, his hands struggling to reach his back, to tear the bandages off.
"What the hell are you doing?"
The lashes felt like fire as they ripped through his back. Daniel screamed. He didn't know he had the air left to do so. But this only seemed to spur the guards on even more. Daniel tried not to say anything, but he kept seeing the shadow by the doorway, eyes glowing, making no move to stop them.
"Jack!"
"It's...n-not true..." Daniel mumbled, ripping off the taped gauze from his back, not feeling the stitches stretch taut on some spots.
Someone's hands tried to pull his away.
"Don't touch them! Lie down! Let me get hel-"
"D-don't t-touch me..." Daniel mumbled, trying to twist away from those fingers again.
"You will never leave me," the voice began again. "You will not refuse."
"N-no..."
"He will die..."
"N-no..."
"You will obey me."
"N-no!" The last one was a scream.
The voice only laughed.
"There is nothing you can do about it."
"It's not...t-true..." The young man was half sobbing now, fighting he hands that were on him. "I d-didn't"
The last of the bandages fell away, fluttering to the ground silently. Jack gripped Daniel's shoulders, unwilling to leave him, even to open the door. The pounding at the door was nothing compared to the harsh breathing coming from Daniel.
"I..."
Daniel stared at the opening of his hospital gown, at the dark jagged X's that marred his back, at the red slashes not deep enough for stitches but still deep enough to stay with him as a vivid reminder of what happened.
"Danny?"
Jack shook Daniel's shoulders gently, swallowing as he got a clear look at the damage that had been wrought. Back when Jack had first found him, the blood soaked T-shirt had concealed the ugliness of the wounds with a wash of red. But this-
"Oh God..." Daniel's voice trailed away as he started to shake. "What... what h-happened... I..."
The screaming had left him hoarse, hanging limply against the tightness of the chains. He hung there, enduring the laughter around him, the stench of blood and sweat, feeling the fingers stroke his cheek again.
"What will it be?"
It was like he was reading from a script in front of him. All it said was no. But... but... the script began to fade away from him... he couldn't see the words... couldn't remember their purpose. So, with a sob, he opened his mouth and said-
"I...I...s-said yes," Daniel whispered horrified. He tumbled back into Jack's grip, his eyes wide, staring at the white caricature of himself reflected in the mirror. "I... God... I said... y-yes!" He covered his face with his hands.
"Good," the voice cooed. Fingers stroked his cheek again as Daniel began to cry. "He will pay."
"Y-yes..."
"He will die."
"Y-yes..."
Jack turned Daniel round, away from the mirror.
"What? What did you say yes to?"
He ignored the shouting outside, knowing that they would come in soon enough. He couldn't make himself leave Daniel's side, even though his own legs felt like water right now. Daniel looked up at him and Jack was taken back by the fear radiating from his eyes.
"I...I...said y-yes." Tears streamed down pale cheeks and Jack tightened his grip on Daniel's shoulders. "I-I'm sorry..." Daniel's eyes rolled back and he collapsed into Jack's arms, dragging the two men down together to the floor.
The colonel grunted as they landed hard, his arms tight around Daniel so the young man wouldn't roll away. Just behind him, the door flew open and he could hear Teal'c shouting enquiries at them, but he didn't reply. Jack just drew Daniel closer, until the young man's head lolled against his shoulder and he rocked him slowly, wishing desperately that he could make the shaking stop.
"It's... it's okay." Jack's voice cracked. "I swear to you... it's okay..."
Daniel was pulled away from him then, and Jack started to fight the bastard who would dare try to take Daniel away from his protection. But then he saw the concerned look on Teal'c's dark face and stopped.
"Are you well, O'Neill?" Teal'c asked, a flurry of activity going on behind him.
No, Jack wanted to say, trying to stand. The spots that had been lurking came back for a moment, then surged forward, and he didn't feel Teal'c grip his shoulders, as he yielded to them.
Janet Fraiser wanted to sit down somewhere, bury her head in her arms and let out the sob that had been choking her since day one.
But there was too much to do.
Too much to... heal.
But Doctor Janet Fraiser was only human.
Blood could be washed away. Cuts could be stitched up. Bones could be taped and mended. Burns could be soothed away.
But what do you do about the haunted eyes, the tears that come during sleep, and the trembling of hands, too thin to even hold onto the spoon?
She had watched as Sanders had woken up, disoriented, asking about his men. She had watched Tesh regain consciousness, horrified by his actions, and be placed under isolation in a room next to Smith. She had watched Daniel wake up, confused, no memory of what had happened, so that he had collapsed into Jack's arms distraught. And she had watched Jack revive, demanding despite a badly bruised throat, to be let up and resume his vigil by his friend's bedside.
Yes, she was only human.
Yet here she was in the meeting room, feeling pinned under the anxious gazes of Sam, Teal'c and General Hammond, all hoping she had all the answers. She only had some.
"I made..." When did her voice become so worn? "...A comparison of the blood samples I took from Smith and Tesh."
Janet passed the folder around the table. Doctor Warner took out another folder and gave it to General Hammond.
"We took the results from when they first returned from P7J973 and then after they... woke up." Warner flipped through the contents, the others following him with their copies. Janet just sat there, willing to let her co-worker take rein for now. "The blood tests came back normal upon their return, but after their... incidents."
Incidents, my foot. They came back to life, Janet thought as Warner continued.
The man ran a hand through graying thick hair, visibly upset by the results.
"There was a... different set of... proteins found in their blood."
"It didn't show up at all in the beginning?" Sam turned her question towards Janet.
"No." Janet couldn't stop herself from snapping that response.
She took a deep breath, looked over to Sam who just nodded sympathetically, and continued.
"We think the protein was fused into their blood cells, ghosting as an additional protein code that we would dismiss as normal. It didn't... activate until after death."
"And?" General Hammond said, trying to follow the medical terminology.
"The protein... somehow... rejuvenated the blood cell activity... almost like shock treatment, thus reviving the patient."
"That's all it does?" Sam asked dubiously.
"No," Janet said flatly. "We found it clones itself during it's idle state and, when activated, releases a... hallucinogen into the bloodstream."
"So Smith...and Tesh..." Sam said, exchanging a look with Teal'c.
"...were under the influence of a drug that we couldn't detect before."
"And are they still under the influence of this drug?" Hammond asked, frowning at the news.
"It's still in their blood stream. But it's slowly dying on its own." Janet's jaw clenched. "Once the adrenaline levels of the body lower, the proteins start breaking down."
"Like Cassandra's bomb," Teal'c surmised. Janet paused, memory flitting across her mind.
"Yes. In no time, that protein would be nonexistent. We wouldn't have been able to find it later on in a checkup or..." Janet swallowed. "...in an autopsy."
"Wait." Sam sat up straighter. "Daniel..." Her eyes widened as she recalled. "He... his heart stopped twice. Once when we were on P7J973 and a second time when we came through the Stargate."
"I know," Janet said softly. "We found traces of it in his bloodstream, but it's slowly dying. Perhaps the body had to be... dead long enough for the proteins to clone themselves enough for their spreading throughout the system to be successful." She smiled briefly. "Like in Sanders, they'll be gone soon."
"So..." Sam's voice sounded a little breathless. "It's over then?"
Not quite, Janet thought sadly back at Jack's vigil.
+++++++++++++++++++++
"So...you're going?" Sara said, barely containing the despair in her voice as she watched her husband pack. Her eyes glanced back over to the letter with the official stamp, which lay discarded on the bed. It would probably tell her more about where he was going than he had.
"It'll only be a month or so."
Jack shoved more shirts than he probably would ever need; more for the excuse to avoid looking his wife in the eye.
"I'll be back."
Sara covered her mouth, trying to hold back on her tears. Jack could see them though, in the reflection of the dresser mirror. It was the same look she had when she had found him in a stupor in the middle of the night.
"I can't do this any more," Sara whispered. "I've tried to... understand, but I haven't been much help at all and you're not letting me help you-"
"I'm fine."
Jack started mashing the shirts down in his duffel bag; pulling out some, and then putting them back in again.
"It didn't look like you were fine when I woke up every night to find you gone somewhere."
"I had a few bad nights-"
"They were *all* bad nights!" His wife sat down on the edge of the bed and Jack froze. "All of them. Ever since you came back. You..."
"I'm fine."
"You're running away."
Jack turned his head, looking at his wife angrily.
"You don't understand!"
"Then make me understand!" Sara shouted back. "I...I can't keep doing this, John. I can't keep coming home to find the place in shambles, to have you pull away from me when you wake up from another nightmare, Charlie can't-" She stopped at Jack's glare. "Charlie... we... you're destroying yourself and taking us with you."
"What are you trying to say?" Jack whispered.
"That... if you leave... you might be coming home to an empty house." Sara couldn't finish. Jack's face told her that he understood completely. So she left the bedroom, sat in Charlie's bedroom, glad that her son was in school so he wouldn't see this, crying when she heard the door slam minutes later.
"Nothing was ever the same after that, Danny," Jack finished. He sighed, watching Daniel's eyelids twitch in sleep. He didn't know why he was telling Daniel about that. "We tried. She tried. But nothing really became... better until maybe a year and a half before the Abydos mission and then..."
A gunshot that I will hear for the rest of my life.
Daniel was still silent, drugged into complacency. Jack absently rubbed the inner skin on Daniel's wrist, feeling the slow, steady pulse held within. He remembered the stark wide-eyed fear in his friend's eyes when had Daniel turned away from the mirror. Jack wondered if the same look had been in his eyes after his nightmares. He didn't know. Jack had never bothered to look in the mirror long enough to check.
It gave Jack chills to think that Daniel might have to do the same.
Damn it. Hasn't he gone through enough? Jack thought angrily. Someone up there is obviously not keeping score here and balancing the scales properly! He pulled away from Daniel's hand, fearing his rage might tighten his hand into a fist.
Daniel stirred, mumbling to himself, his brow furrowed, as his hands twisted the blankets. His feet kicked restlessly and the blankets were pushed to the side. Jack smiled briefly. Daniel looked like a restless kid.
"N-no..."
Jack's smile faded. A restless kid with nightmares.
"No..." Daniel moaned, his head shaking left and right in denial.
Jack got up and snagged a corner of the blanket, covering Daniel again before the young man could register the cold. He frowned when Daniel began to shiver anyway.
Jack could see Daniel's lips moving, mouthing a name silently. He felt his heart clench when he realized Daniel was calling out his name.
"He was calling for you. He was calling for you all the time, wouldn't stop when they tried to shut him up, wouldn't stop!"
Calling out his name and Jack wasn't there to help him.
"I am so sorry, Danny," Jack murmured, his hand on the young man's shoulder.
He felt something tug in his chest, seeing the young man trying to burrow deeper in the blankets, trying to hide, trying to forget.
"Few years ago..." Jack whispered. "I wanted so much to forget. But all I could do was remember."
And now he was going to have to make Daniel do the same.
"Let me apologize in advance now," Jack's voice dropped lower and lower. "For what I'm going to put you through You'll probably hate me for the rest of your life."
Daniel shifted slightly, his head half concealed by the covers.
"You'll probably wake up screaming every other night," Jack continued, his voice cracking.
Daniel moaned as hearing him. Jack squeezed his shoulder and he calmed down almost immediately.
"And on other nights, you probably won't be able to sleep at all."
Sitting down again, tucking in the edges of the blanket, Jack dropped his head into his hands.
"And then they'll come even when you're awake."
Tears wetted Daniel's pale cheeks. Jack sighed softly. Even in sleep, under the lull of sedatives, Daniel's memory tormented him. He took a tissue and gently wiped the tears away, feeling a surge of protectiveness when Daniel whimpered, turning his head closer to the hand.
"But it'll get better," Jack continued hoarsely. "It'll get better, so that one day you'll be able to look around and not see the walls morph into another place, that you won't need all the lights on, that every loud noise you hear won't have you running for cover."
"P-promise?" Daniel whispered, his body visibly relaxing.
Jack could see those blue eyes, half glazed with pain, filled with the certainty that anything Jack said was gold.
"Promise," Jack whispered.
The stone tablet glowed once then died down to a dull brown, muddy in color. The owner of the stone, Tery'ka frowned.
It did not bode good news.
"Selmac," he said softly, turning his head towards a man in his fifties. "What should we do then?"
In the dual voice effect of a Go'uald with its host, Selmac replied as he took the tablet.
"We must inform the others. Find her before she can make use of this piece of technology."
"She may try again to rebuild," Tery'ka pointed out.
"But we do not know where she is." Selmac frowned. "We've lost contact with our operative inside. Our man may be dead."
"But if the rumors are true..." Tery'ka hedged. "Then we could use them to find her-"
Eyes glowed briefly and Jacob Carter emerged instead.
"Now hold on a minute!" he started angrily. "We can't just go around using them whenever we feel like it!"
Tery'ka frowned with disapproval. It wasn't like Selmac to allow the Tau'ri to jump forward.
"The Tok'ra's purpose is to-"
"Stop the system lords, I know." Jacob waved his hand at the Tok'ra. "But I'm also here to make sure the system lords aren't going to take my people and make them into slaves!" Jacob paused. "And this... thing would most certainly do that."
"What do you propose?" Tery'ka asked thoughtfully.
"Let me go there, find out who the target is and who is the one to do it. Let me stop them before that happens. Maybe-"
"I will go with you," Tery'ka decided.
"What?"
Tery'ka motioned towards the stone tablet.
"If what I read there is true, then she will be waiting for him to return, for him to do the task in front of her. We could use this chance to follow him and stop her once and for all."
Jacob shook his head.
"Too risky. We can't have them-"
"There is no other way," Tery'ka told him, handing over the tablet. "Selmac already knows what needs to be done. I think she allowed you to speak in order to understand this."
Jacob scowled, taking the stone. He waved a smooth pebble like device over it and watched as the symbols wavered to his language. The frown faded and he gawked at the message.
Tery'ka eyed the human.
"We leave at dawn."
Jacob just nodded numbly.
© July 28,1999 The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa'uld and all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.