"Damn!" Jack's voice rang loudly through the empty house, echoing off the walls, and ricocheting back to slap him in the face. He stalked over to the couch, dropping down inelegantly, lifting his hands to his head before his butt even hit the cushions.
Daniel had lousy timing, *damn* lousy timing. Of all the times for him to remember to ask about Abydos...
Inhaling deeply, Jack tried to pull himself together. It wasn't Daniel's fault. There was no way he could have known the answer to that question, not with his memory still having more holes than a block of Swiss cheese. If only there had been some warning, some indication that Daniel had been about to ask, so that Jack could have schooled his reaction and *not* reacted. Left it for a better time and place, a safer time and place.
But no, Daniel had to turn to him while they were hiding from a group of native warriors out for their blood. He had to ask Jack that particular question in the middle of the night, in the midst of one of Jack's watches.
He just had to throw it out from nowhere, and Jack, off guard and distracted as hell, had blurted out something that had tipped Daniel off to the truth.
Try as he might, Jack couldn't even remember what he had said. He just remembered the shock and horror on Daniel's face, the grief closing in around him, the strangled shout that had brought their assailants down on them like avenging angels...
They'd gotten back alive, a small mercy Jack was grateful for. They were all home, and in one piece. Physically, at least.
Daniel had disappeared while Jack was still being checked over by Frasier. He'd left the base quickly, according to the guard; there wouldn't have been time for him to have showered and changed out of the filthy clothes they'd been wearing for days since the initial ambush. Daniel's apartment was dark and empty, his car nowhere to be seen. After driving around for an hour, Jack O'Neill had finally given up and headed home.
Home wasn't helping, though. Jack fidgeted, finally stood and paced around the living room, heading into the kitchen for a beer a short while after that. He knocked it back in short order, and went back for a second, and then a third.
Heaven help him if there was an emergency at the SGC tonight.
Jack closed his eyes, the cold beer bottle resting against his forehead as the image of Daniel, exhausted enough after their attempts to escape, tried to digest this new information. What he considered home, what he considered his safe haven and his refuge, was gone, obliterated from the universe in a single moment.
Lowering the bottle, Jack thanked whatever snake-less gods were listening that Daniel hadn't had a chance to ask for specifics. That the Abydonians were now ascended might offer some comfort, if they could get past the details, get past that first all-important fact that Daniel had somehow failed to protect them from Anubis...
It was likely when Daniel showed up that would be the first thing he'd want to know. *Why* had probably already gone through his head as whatever words Jack had used had been absorbed and recognized. *How* was the logical next question.
Jack slammed the bottle onto the table, the ferocious crack of glass on wood shocking him back into the present. He'd rather have had this conversation at a more opportune moment, at a point in time of his choosing. Somewhere safe and quiet, some time when Daniel would be able to absorb the news a little more carefully.
"Oh who am I kidding," he said to the coffee table, staring at its top as if he were trying to convince it of some profound universal truth. "I didn't want to talk to him at all. If I had just *told* him earlier..."
But he hadn't. And now Daniel knew the truth, and was who-knew-where trying to make sense of it.
Daniel would never understand that they hadn't mentioned it earlier. He'd never understand that his friends hadn't told him about something so serious months ago. Jack knew he was in deep trouble, and had no idea how he was going to make this one right.
Guzzling down the last of the beer in front of him, Jack stood, and headed back to the kitchen. He had a whole case to drink. Twenty-one more beers before dawn, before he would have to pull himself together and head back to the base.
He'd almost gotten to the kitchen when the doorbell rang, grating on already sensitive nerves. Heading to the door, he decided to make the salesman on the other side as miserable as possible, a small panacea for the utter crappiness of the day.
Jack swung open the door, ready to curse out whoever was on the other side. The words didn't come as he took in the form of Daniel, still wearing his grubby BDU's, still looking like absolute hell.
They stood there for a long moment in silence, as Daniel seemed to be studying the threshold with deadly intensity. Finally he looked up, and Jack winced at the pain reflected in his friend's face. Tear tracks ran through the mud on Daniel's face. The blue eyes were barely visible below swollen eyelids.
"How?"
The word was barely a puff of air between them. If Jack hadn't seen the lips move he wouldn't have believed anything had been said at all. He took several shaky breaths, trying to clear the alcohol and fear out of his mind.
"Come in," he said, as he moved aside and gestured towards the living room. "Come in, and I'll tell you everything."
Daniel nodded, and walked in, hugging himself tightly as he moved.
Jack closed the door, and followed.
Author's Notes: Thanks to BabsN for taking it apart and helping me to put it back together even better.Feedback: Comments and criticisms welcome. Flames will be promptly doused in ice water.
© January 2004 The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa'uld and all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.