(In a dark room, hardly anything can be seen Jack enters the room.)
JACK: It was a dark and gloomy room.
TYRA: Shut up Jack!
JACK: but it is!
SAM: Even though it is dark we don’t need you to add a spooky atmosphere to it.
JACK: Why are the lights off?
DANIEL: Cause I’m trying to put this light bulb in!
JACK: (Quietly.) Well in that case scary and spooky fit right in to this room at the moment.
NIYA: Do you need a light?
DANIEL: That’s pointless Niya, cause there’s no light.
TYRA: Why do you need us all in here anyway?
DANIEL: Just in case something happens to me, in case you hadn’t noticed that does happen to me a lot.
TYRA: (quietly.) You can say that again. (Jack begins to laugh)
DANIEL: Who’s laughing?
SAM: No one.
DANIEL: I heard someone laugh, now I’m not gonna put this light bulb in until I know who it was.
JACK: It wasn’t anyone.
DANIEL: Argh! (Crash)
NIYA: Daniel? Daniel, what happened. (Then a torch comes on and it’s shone on Daniel on the floor and we can see the broken wooden stepladder.)
TYRA: You see that’s why I said using a chair would be better than using a wooden stepladder.
JACK: Good thing you had that torch with you.
DANIEL: Why do you always have to be right?
TYRA: How should I know? How come it’s always you that gets the injury?
DANIEL: It’s not always me. You’ve been killed twice.
SAM: You 6 times.
DANIEL: You’ve had an arrow through your shoulder, been infected with a Goa’uld symbiote, stabbed in the stomach and had blast weapon damage on your leg. I don’t think there’s anything I’ve missed off that list. And I haven’t had that much done to me.
JACK: At least she hasn’t died as many times as you have! You’ve died 6 times, remember? (Niya helps Daniel to stand up.) Can you walk?
DANIEL: Yeah.
NIYA: How can you tell? You haven’t even tried!
JACK: all right, enough all ready! Where’s the bulb?
DANIEL: err. (Tyra shines the torch around until she comes to the broken bulb.)
TYRA: There. (Pointing to it. She goes over and picks up most of the bits.)
JACK: Let’s go. (They all leave, Daniel hobbling but otherwise he’s fine.) You sure you’re ok Daniel?
DANIEL: Yes Jack I’m fine, no thanks to you.
SAM: It was your own fault. You should’ve listened to Tyra and used a chair instead of the wooden stepladder. It was bound to break!
DANIEL: Enough of the ladder all right? I’m going off to a DIY store to get some paint.
NIYA: Why?
DANIEL: So I can paint my room. General Hammond said I could.
SAM: You’re not gonna use a wooden stepladder are you?
DANIEL: Of course not. I’ll use a metal ladder.
TYRA: At least then you’ll be able to reach the ceiling, and the ops of the wall.
JACK: so, what colour will you paint it?
DANIEL: W and S.
SAM: What?
DANIEL: Wait and See! (And he walks off happily, but still limping a little tiny bit.)
TYRA: Thought we had enough of the abbreviations.
JACK: So did.
(A couple of hours later and Daniel has returned from the store and is walking down a corridor to wards his room with two tins of paint. He soon sees Sam and Tyra.)
SAM: I see you’re back.
DANIEL: Good observation.
TYRA: You got your paint?
DANIEL: Yes. (Holds the two tins up for his friends to see.)
SAM: You’re room isn’t that big, you won’t need two tins of paint.
DANIEL: Yes I will.
SAM: Why?
DANIEL: Two different colours.
TYRA: Interesting.
DANIEL: You wanna help me?
SAM: Isn’t it a bit dark in your room though, with no light bulb being in there?
DANIEL: No, there should be a light bulb in there now. On my way out I asked the caretaker if he would change it for me and he said he would.
TYRA: We have a caretaker?
DANIEL: Lieutenant What’s’is’name. Chevron guy.
SAM: Oh him. So, he’s now our caretaker?
DANIEL: well it’s better than calling him Chevron Guy isn’t it?
TYRA: True.
DANIEL: So, are you gonna help me or not?
SAM: All right. Especially after the mess you made of trying to replace the lightbulb this morning.
DANIEL: Enough with what happened this morning!
SAM: Sorry Daniel. (They move off and go to his room, and nice Chevron Guy has changed the lightbulb and taken away the broken wooden ladder.)
TYRA: I’ll go and get a metal ladder for you.
DANIEL: Thanks Tyra. (Tyra disappears. She soon comes back in with the ladder.)
SAM: Be very careful on that ladder Daniel, cause you could easily sip off.
DANIEL: One more word from you about ladders….
SAM: Sorry. (Daniel then opens the two tins of paint. Sam and Tyra stare blankly at the two colours that Daniel has chosen.)
TYRA: Hmm. Green and purple. Nice choice.
DANIL: At least it’s better than grey. (A while later and Daniel is painting the ceiling purple. Standing on a ladder right by the door. Sam and Tyra are painting the walls green. Suddenly the door opens and Daniel is thrown off the ladder, with the tin of paint following him and it lands on his head, spilling the paint all over him. Tyra and Sam look at the door and see Jack standing there.)
SAM: Daniel? Are you all right? (He removes the tin from his head and wipes a lot of the paint off him.)
DANIEL: (Getting a bit annoyed.) I don’t know.
JACK: Sorry. (Tyra is beginning to laugh, but trying to hide it. Sam just stares at Daniel and Jack and then bursts into laughs. Tyra then lets out her laughs.)
DANIEL: You think that’s funny?
SAM: Yes we do! (Daniel and Jack just stare at each other, but Daniel notices that Jack is trying to hide back his laughs.)
JACK: (Finding it very difficult not to laugh while talking.) I just came to tell you we’ve been scheduled for a travel in a couple of hours, so you might want to have a shower before then Daniel.
DANIEL: Thanks Jack.
TYRA: I guess we’ll have to wait until another day to finish off the painting.
DANIEL: Yes, cause I need a new tin of purple paint. (Tyra goes over to him and helps him up.)
SAM: Off you go. You heard Jack!
DANIEL: Thanks. (He leaves. Tyra and Sam still laughing at Daniel’s misfortune.)
SAM: Poor Daniel. First the lightbulb, now this. What’s gonna happen next?
TYRA: It has not been his day today! (They continue to laugh for a while longer.)
December 25, 2004 The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa'uld and all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.