Bright. Someone is shining something very bright in his eyes. He tries to blink, or turn his head away, and is vaguely annoyed to find he can’t. The penlight recedes, and he gets a brief look at Janet’s face before his eyes unfocus again. She looks very, very sad, and he wants to ask her what the matter is and tell her it will be all right, but he can’t really summon the energy. Everything blurs.
Jack swims into focus. It’s darker now, and he guesses it must be night. In… the infirmary? That would explain the penlight. Jack doesn’t look like he’s been sleeping. He’s muttering something under his breath. He looks awful. Daniel feels Jack stroke the back of his hand, and he wants to tell Jack to go get something to eat, maybe take a nap, and is perplexed to find that his mouth won’t work. A verntilator maybe? That would explain the hissing in the background, and that annoying beeping noise.
Now Sam. It’s day again, and Daniel spares a moment to wonder how long it’s been since he saw Jack at night, and realizes he doesn’t really care. It’s quite peaceful lying here, not having to do anything but dream. He just wishes he could make everyone stop worrying. He’s just taking a little rest, nothing he hasn’t earned. He tries to remember how he ended up in the infirmary this time, but the memory refuses to surface.
Janet again, armed with her penlight. She looks tired. She checks the monitors above his head and he tries to turn and look too, but his neck muscles aren’t speaking to his brain and the attempt fails. Janet leans on the bed, head bowed, and a tear slips down her cheek. Daniel worries. Who is in trouble?
A strong hand touches Daniel’s face, surprisingly gentle. Teal’c, probably. His eyes focus again, and Daniel is shocked to see Teal’c crying. Teal’c…crying? Teal’c doesn’t cry. Panic flutters and Daniel tries to wake up, do something, anything. He realizes suddenly, with a pang of guilt, how hard it must be for Teal’c, eternally healthy and long-living, to watch the lives of his friends and family flit by so briefly. No wonder he never shows emotion. Daniel vows to himself that as soon as he’s had his little rest, he’ll do something really nice for Teal’c.
Wow, lots of people. Daniel hasn’t seen so many people by his bed in a long time. He can see Janet, and Sam sobbing into Jack’s shoulder, and Teal’c looking ready to hit something. Even Feretti is there, looking like someone’s just run over his dog. And at the back, is that General Hammond? Daniel is impressed. He wishes Sam would stop crying though. He wonders who made Sam so sad, and feels an unfamiliar stir of anger. Janet’s hands disappear below his field of vision and something tears at his throat, unexpectedly shocking him. A tube rises into his line of sight, and suddenly he can’t breathe. With sickening suddenness, he realizes that Janet just took him off a ventilator, and that the crowd around his bed is saying goodbye. They’ve let him go. Panic and anger duel for supremacy as he realizes he’s dying. He doesn’t want to die, not now, not like this. Frantic, he reaches out for something, anything, salvation.
The fire in Jack’s eyes dims momentarily as Daniel takes it to heart.
The heart monitor keeps up its rhythm.
Daniel grabs double handfulls of Teal’c’s strength and forces it into his lungs.
Chest muscles expand, contract, lazy with disuse but working, working, breathing, breathing.
He sees the pain and hope in Sam’s eyes, uses it to blast through the barrier between his mind and his body.
Sensations flood back, he can feel the sheets against his feet, the IV in his arm, the air against his face.
Daniel’s heart weeps blood into his veins. His lungs keep up their battle, fueled by more than sugars and proteins and electrical discharges. He looks into the eyes of the people around his bed, takes in the emotions stored there, the anger frustration helplessness pain sadness hope and gathers it to himself, packing it into his muscles, keeping himself afloat.
Eyes blink. Focus. Move. Hands stir. Head moves. Tongue runs across dry lips. Lungs. Heart. Brain. Spirit.
Daniel smiles.
I like feedback, feedback makes me happy, and a happy Sam is a Sam who will write more stories.
January, 2002 © The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa'uld and all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.