Dear Big Guy,
We've been working hard on the script challenge you sent us. We totally agree that reworking plots from other shows and movies will shake up this season (after all, we're only the number one hour-long syndicated show in the US, obviously we need to do something to improve our ratings), as well as cure that other problem we've talked about (see Memo of 6/1/00, Re: Eeek! We're Fresh Out of Plot Bunnies!).
I know we started out slow last week, but we had a talk with Katherine, and have convinced her that "rehashing every bad romance novel" she's ever read was not a valid response to the challenge, and she promises to do better next time.
I think you'll find this week's entry, Divide and Alienate, a fine response (we're still tinkering with the title). It's a reworking of the plot of The Manchurian Candidate, a Red Scare film starring a youthful and sexy Angela Lansbury. Unfortunately, Ms. Lansbury refused to wear the costume selected for the role of Tok'raBarbie #2 (muttered something about F-off, She Wrote), and thus we've lost one of the layers of subtle irony, but I think you'll find it still works. There are also a couple of minor character shifts and plot developments, but nothing major. Our new fan liaison, Jenny572, assures us that these changes are entirely within the views and wishes of the majority of our fan base, and in fact, will probably go unremarked.
For next week, we've got a reworking of the plot from Groundhog Day. From the preview, you can see our fan liaison has been working overtime with us to help rescue the series from the gutter of first place. She assures us it's "super rad" and the boys in marketing think our appeal to the critical golf-scifi crossover niche market is well-timed.
P. DeLuise's recommendation for a reworking of Cannonball Run has been taken under advisement.
With regards to one of those small character changes referred to in D&A, AT is refusing to let Carter refer to O'Neill as "Colonel Studmuffin." Writing staff recommends management investigate whether Goa'uld mind control actually works, and failing that, have Teal'c shoot her while she fries Jackson's brain. It's worked before.
Love'n'Kisses
The Writing Staff
Department Motto: In space, no one can hear you complain.
© August 2000 The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa'uld and all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.
Author's Note: This is a parody. Any resemblance to reality is purely within my mixed-up head. Please do not be mad at me. It's only supposed to be funny and is not meant to attack anyone, with the possible exception of the SG-1 writing staff. It's just supposed to be fun. Mucho thanks goes to Bastet, Jmas, and Alida holding my hand this weekend. Hope remains... Thanks (or blame) goes to AJ for posting the challenge that inspired this, um... thing.