"So you really think this Px.. whatever is worth checking out?" Jack asked, his heart already sinking. Daniel had found another boring planet. No locals to keep Jack amused, or any great threats to keep him busy. Just some old dirty, dank, musty, stinky, mud encrusted temple.
"Px6988, Jack, and yes. For many reasons.. From what I can tell on the MALP images, it appears the temple was originally resurrected to the Greek Goddess Aphrodite. The Goddess of Love." Daniel paused dramatically waiting for the proverbial shoe to drop.
His comrades, however, seemed less than enthusiastic. "So we get to see some dingy ol' temple resurrected for some Ghould with a fetish?"
"Jaaaack." Daniel moaned shaking his head. "There are some clues that link *Hathor* with Aphrodite. Some think she was one and the same. Having an uncanny ability to..."
A bright flash filled the briefing room, followed by a dusting of what appeared to be pink and red hearts. "Exsqueeze me?!" A petulant voice called out.
Daniel found himself staring at a small sandaled foot. His gaze went upward and his mouth dropped when he saw a blonde-haired beauty staring down at him. She was barely clothed, and she seemed to have no qualms about standing atop tables.
"Code red emergency in the briefing room!" General Hammond shouted out. Red klaxons began whirring and screaming out the emergency.
"Hold it there, cue-ball!" She waved a hand and the klaxons stopped. "That red is totally harsh!"
"Uhmm excuse me.." Daniel seemed to find his voice.
"Hold it one second, Baby-cakes.." The woman paused Daniel's speech. She went to the edge of the table, next to where Jack and Teal'c sat.
'Baby-cakes?' Jack mouthed. Sam's eyebrows quirked up, and Teal'c raised one brow at the comment. The intruder cleared her throat impatiently and held her hand out. Jack automatically reached out to her, and helped guide her down to the floor.
"OK, you can continue now."
"I demand to know who you are and what you are doing here!" The agitated General sputtered.
"The name's Aphrodite, *NOT* to be confused with some *other* goddess of love. And I came here to set the record straight." She went to Daniel and began poking him in the chest with every comment. "I don't know where you get your facts, bub! I am not that total hagster! My eyes don't glow, I don't need love dust to make men fall at my feet, and I *hate* snakes."
"Hey! So do we!" Jack piped in.
"So.. you're saying you're a real goddess? Aphrodite.. Goddess of love?"
"Yep, that's what I'm sayin'!"
"You'll excuse me if I seem a bit skeptical." Daniel turned away. He'd had his fill of delusional 'love goddesses' .
"Watch it buster! Or I'll make you fall in love with *HIM*! " She pointed a finger at Jack.
"HEY! Don't drag me into this... eerr wait-a-minute! Are you saying falling in love with me is a bad thing?!"
"Jack, please. The woman's obviously delusional."
"AS *IF*! How'd I get in here, hunh?" The self proclaimed love goddess stepped up to Daniel haughtily.
"Daniel, don't let her breathe on you." Sam warned. It was too late, Aphrodite was in Daniel's face angrily staring him down.
"Please step away from DanielJackson." Teal'c boomed, grabbing one of her slender arms.
"Lemme go, big guy, and nobody gets hurt. I have a beef to settle." She shrugged Teal'c off as though he were a sack of potatoes.
"Hey! Now wait a minute! No reason to go throwing people around." Jack stepped forward, not liking where this was going.
"I just want this guy top stop dragging my name through the mud! I mean Hathor?! Eeeeewwww I have, like, way better fashion sense! She'd give Dog faced Hera a run for her money!"
"Oh fer cryin' out loud she wasn't all that bad!" Jack said before he could stop himself. The entire room looked at him with interest. "For a ghould!"
"If you're not a ghould than how do you explain that?" Daniel, as usual, didn't back down. He showed the goddess the MALP images.
"Why that ... Oooohh!!" Aphrodite pouted.
"You sure you aren't related?" Jack asked the archeologist and the goddess, as he watched the woman pout. Daniel favored Jack with a very dour expression.
"Possible. Nobody should be that cute without having a bit of 'Dite in them." She smiled sweetly, patting Daniel's cheek and turned back to the screen.
"Okay.." Jack whispered shaking his head. "So, what's the problem?"
Aphrodite sighed loudly, rolling her eyes and facing her audience once more. "See, Artemis.."
"Her sister, Goddess of the Hunt." Daniel supplied for the mythologically handicapped.
"Whatever, a total jock. She never got over the golden apple thing..."
"Legend has it that the three goddess, Aphrodite, *Hera*, and Athena, were in competition to be the most beautiful goddess of the land. They found a young man, Paris..." Daniel interrupted, but was stopped by a small hand over his mouth.
"Do you *mind*? Leave it to the expert, kay? It wasn't Paris, it was Iolaus. And old Dog-Face was not in the competition! It was Artemis. Sheez, what university did you go to?!" She shook her head as she went back to the table, and sat upon it, crossing her legs and leaning back as a golden apple appeared in her hand. "Boy! Was he a cutie, but unfortunately my straight laced brother Herc had to go and ruin my fun with Sweetcheeks. But that is a whole different story." The apple disappeared, just as Daniel was leaning closer to get a better look at the etchings on it. He frowned when it disappeared. "Anywho, Arti never got over it. I mean, I don't see how she ever thought she could stand a chance..."
"OK! She had a grudge! We got that." Jack huffed impatiently. Both Daniel and their guest looked at him with a frown 'Oh yeah, definitely related!'
"So you think she built a temple in your name on some other planet?" Sam asked, trying to move the story along.
"Like DUH! Where'd you find these people?" She asked Hammond. "No! We're Greek gods, not masters of the universe. No, she conspired with the enemy."
"Enemy?" Jack asked.
"Hathor! Ugh! Hellloooo.." She waved her hands in front of Jack's face. "Have you been payin' attention, Stud-muffin?"
"Hathor would have been Aphrodite's competition. Both goddess' of love. Both vying for mortal men's affections." Daniel hazarded.
"Bingo. There's hope for you yet."
"So how'd you know that Artemis conspired against you?"
"Let's see if your Space monkey can figure that one out." She sat back and waited as Daniel went to the screen. She smiled as he bent down and viewed the image carefully.
"Ah-ha!" Daniel crowed.
"Ah-ha?" Jack echoed.
"Th.. the uhh... carvings... One of them shows the Egyptian symbol for Hathor, and next to it is a vague description of a 'Moon Goddess' . Artemis was also known as the Goddess of the Moon in Greek Mythos."
"What's it doing there?" Jack asked.
"Duh! Arti knew I hated Hagface, and what better way to get back than to forever get people to associate me with her." She shivered, drawing her pink chiffon around her. "And now I expect you to set the record straight!"
"Me?"
"Yeah, you! Look, baby-cakes, I know you got this grudge against goddess' and especially the love variety. But I am the real deal. What that hagster did to you is a total betrayal to the goddess of love gig." Her tone softened and for the first time, she showed some genuine sincerity. "I don't like seeing anyone hurt in the name of Love."
Daniel ducked his head hiding his face from his friends as he tried to work past the old hurt. Finally he looked up, and everyone could see his eyes were holding back tears. "Okay."
"Awww... Come here.." Aphrodite stood, and pulled the archeologist toward her, resting his head against her bosom. She sniffled melodramatically.
Daniel's eyes widened for a moment as he adjusted to his current situation. He found himself to be the center of attention once again.
"Well, it's been grand, people. But I hear there are some killer sets waiting for me, not to mention my Hephie. Later." With that the goddess was gone as quickly as she'd appeared, causing Daniel to stumble. Jack caught him, preventing the younger man from hitting the table.
"Thanks."
"Well, that was... Interesting." Jack rocked back on his heels, hands behind his back.
"Indeed." Teal'c agreed.
"Still want to go to Px6988, *Baby-cakes*?"
"Jack.." Daniel shook his head.
"'Nobody should be that cute without having a bit of 'Dite in them.' huh? Well, Danny my boy, looks like you just met your great great great great great great.."
"Jaaaaack!"
"Great great great great great great great great..."
"Sir.."
"Great great great.."
"O'Neill."
"Great great great great..."
"Colonel!"
"Great great great.."
C'est Finis.
© December 15, 2000 The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa'uld and all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.