"I still don't see why-"
"Will you hold still, Daniel?"
"But...Jack, why do we have to-"
"Look, you keep fidgeting and I'm going to cut off something else by mistake!"
"...I'm not even going to ask why you mean by that."
"Ears, Daniel. Ears."
"Oh."
"Look. You could use a haircut. You need a haircut. For crying out loud, your hair is getting out of hand!"
"It's perfectly fine, Jack, I could...Ouch!"
"Sorry. Pulled too hard."
"...You did that on purpose, didn't you?"
"Nope, now stop moving, will you?"
"I don't see why I need a haircut..."
"Daniel."
"Yes, Jack?"
"What happened on that last mission?"
"...Uh...I don't understand?"
"What...happened...on...the...last...mission?"
"Oh...I...um...I tripped."
"And why did you trip?"
"Because...the wind was blowing really hard and I got distracted because we were so high up on that rope bridge, which reminds me, Jack. Didn't you think it was unusual that the people on that planet with technology so advanced couldn't-"
"Daniel."
"Uh...yes, Jack?"
"You didn't answer my question, Daniel."
"Yes I did."
"No you didn't."
"Yes I did!"
"No...you didn't."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"Yes."
"No, I didn't, Jack. I...argh."
"Gotcha, Danny boy."
"I can't believe I fell for that again."
"Mmph, sucker. Now, what happened?"
"I tripped."
"And nearly fell off and met the ground thirty feet below."
"I'm okay. Teal'c pulled me up in time."
"That's not the point. You couldn't see where you were going because that damn wind blew hair into your eyes!"
"Don't exaggerate so, Jack. That's not true!"
"Oh? So why did you trip?"
"I couldn't see."
"Because?"
"Because the wind was blowing ha...oh."
"You need a haircut."
"Why do you have to be the one to give me a haircut?"
"Because the last time you said you were cutting your hair, you went back to town and came back looking like it wasn't cut at all!"
"I asked for a trim only, Jack."
"Trim? Trim what? Your lawn? It looked exactly the same!"
"I don't have a lawn, Jack."
"That's not the point, Daniel. You could have gone to the one I recommended."
"Are you kidding? That guy looked like a wrestler who was too razor happy! He would shave my hair off like I was a marine!"
"And what's wrong with a marine's haircut?"
"Oops...uh...nothing...it's just not for me, that's all."
"Sigh...just hold still...okay?"
"You're not going to cut it that short are you, Jack?"
"No, I told you, just enough so you wouldn't get blindsided by it. Okay?"
"Okay."
"Christ, you would think I was going to...oops."
"Oops?"
"Nothing. Here, have a magazine to read, Daniel."
"Why thank you, Jack. National Geographic! Where did you get this? It's a new issue, too!"
"Well, saw it when I was in town, thought it looked interesting and..."
"Wow. Colonel Jack O'Neill...National Geographic subscriber. I'm floored."
"What? What? For crying out loud! So I read it. Big deal."
"I thought you would be a Sports Illustrated and Playboy kind of guy."
"Who said I wasn't?"
"Never mind. This is really nice, Jack. Thank you."
"Yeah, yeah. Don't make such a big deal out of...oh shit."
"What?"
"Nothing. Just realized...how short..."
"Short?"
"...My day off seems to be. Yeah...that's it."
"Jaaack..."
"Oh, don't Jaaack me. Just sit still, will you. I...ah crap."
"What? What?"
"Cut that out. You're going to hyperventilate like that. Oops."
"Jack! What are you doing?"
"Nothing! Hold still!"
"Where's the mirror?"
"Uhhhhh...it's in the shop. Hold on, will you? And...and stop fidgeting! What are you doing?"
"Why is there no mirror? Jack, I want to take a look!"
"Look, I'm not finished yet. Hang on a sec. Don't take a peek yet! It's...uh...its bad luck to look before it's done!"
"Bad luck? Jack, that's for the groom and bride before a wedding! Not for a haircut!"
"STOP fidgeting! Shit! Now look what you made me do!"
"What I made you do? Argh! Where's the mirror?"
"I told you, Carter borrowed it. Hold on, ah crap!"
"I thought you said it was in the shop!"
"No, I didn't. I said Teal'c broke it!"
"What? What? Now I'm getting confused..."
"I did not break a mirror."
"Teal'c! Geez, you scared the shit out of me!"
"Why is Daniel Jackson's hair so..."
"What?"
"Nothing. Right, Teal'c?"
"...Indeed. Why are you waving your scissors at me, O'Neill?"
"Uh...nothing. Never mind."
"Teal'c, could you get me a mirror, please?"
"There is one right over ther-"
"By the infirmary. Right, Teal'c?"
"But there is-"
"Not...a...single...mirror...in...here! Right, Teal'c?"
"...Right."
"Teal'c, can you please get me a mirror. Please?"
"Yes."
"No! Uh...I mean, okay. Teal'c, you need to go to Storage Room 24C009G to get a mirror."
"...I was not aware of such a room, O'Neill."
"Uh...top secret...very hush hush."
"Hush hush?"
"Yeeeah."
"Jack! Couldn't he just go to the infirmary to get a mirror?"
"No! You need to fill out the Reflective Panel Lending form and then take it to the storage room."
"Reflective Pan- What the hell is that, Jack?"
"Watch your mouth, Daniel. It's a form to take out...to take out...uh...mirrors."
"The Reflective Panel form?"
"No, Daniel. It's Refractive Panel Lending Form."
"I thought you said it was the Reflective Panel Lending form, Jack."
"Look, do you want a mirror or not?"
"Where do I obtain this...form, O'Neill?"
"Okay, you make a right here then at the corner, turn around and make a left. Go up the elevator four levels then make a left and take the elevator back down six levels. Make a right and take the elevator up two levels. Got it?"
"...Make a right here then at the corner, turn around and make a left. Go up the elevator four levels then make a left and take the elevator back down six levels. Make a right and take the elevator up two levels."
"...Ah....yeah. Okay, go for it, Teal'c."
"Thanks a lot, Teal'c. Are you finished yet, Jack?"
"Not by a long shot."
"What, what did you say, Jack?"
"Nothing. Let me take a few more snips, okay?"
"...Okay...not so short, okay, Jack?"
"Yeah, yeah, not so short. I got you."
"Colonel! So there you are! Why is Teal'c going around in circl- Holy Hannah!"
"Hi, Sam. What is the matter?"
"Uh...nothing. Getting a haircut, Daniel? It looks nice."
"Thanks...I think. Jack wouldn't let me see though."
"I told you, Daniel. Not until its finished."
"Jack, by the time you finish, it'll probably grow back!"
"I should be so lucky..."
"What?"
"Nothing!"
"Daniel, it looks really nice...just different."
"Different! What do you mean different?"
"Weell, it looks really shor-"
"Carter!"
"Yes sir!"
"Hand me that...uh...comb, please?"
"Sure. Here you go! Ah!"
"Oops, Carter. How clumsy of you to trip!"
"Trip! You stuck your foot out-"
"Jack! My glasses fell off when she bumped into me!"
"Really? Oh my.... Where could they be?"
"Over there, sir. No! Wait, don't!"
"Oh shit. I stepped on them. Sorry, Danny."
"Jack! Are you trying to stop me from seeing my haircut?"
"No! Whatever gave you that idea?"
"Well..."
"Daniel. Danny. Don't you...trust me?"
"Well, yeah, but-"
"I had been sent on an untamed poultry chase."
"Teal'c! Damn...I mean, you're back. What did you say?"
"I had been sent on an untamed poultry chase."
"...An untamed poultry chase...oh for crying out loud, you mean, wild goose chase!"
"That is what I said."
"Jack! I...want...to...see!"
"Fine. Here's a mirror."
"...Thank you, Jack. I don't see why you had to give me such a hard...Jack!"
"Oh boy."
"It's...it's...so...short!"
"I think it looks fine, Daniel. The colonel did a really good job."
"Oh my god, I look like one of his soldiers now."
"It is of considerable shorter length than what you had before, Daniel Jackson."
"Quiet, Teal'c. Look, Daniel...if you hadn't been moving around and making me slip and..."
"Actually, Daniel. I think it looks kinda...cute."
"...Really, Sam?"
"Yeah...sir?"
"Oh yeah...really cute. I can't believe I said that."
"Brings out your eyes very well."
"But it's so short!"
"Hey...at least I didn't shave it all off!"
"That...is really of little comfort to me, right now, Jack."
"I believe it looks well on you, Daniel Jackson. Like a theker on a Jaffa."
"Thanks...I think."
"So there! Daniel, see? It is a good haircut."
"I guess...thank you, Jack."
"You're welcome. That'll be thirty dollars, please."
"Jack!"
"Sir!"
"Okay, okay! I was just kidding...sheesh...no tip?"
"Jack!"
© 1999 The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa'uld and all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.