Pulling the
door shut behind him, Jack crossed the empty briefing room to the window
overlooking the gateroom. Gazing down
at the now deserted stargate, he slumped tiredly against the glass and let the
soothing silence wash over him.
Everyone else
on the base was still celebrating the salvation of the world. As part of the team which was the primary
means of that salvation, Jack had been at the center of all the hoopla for a
while. He certainly had plenty to
celebrate, not the least of which was his own survival and that of his
teammates against all expectations.
However,
beneath the rejoicing played a counter note of grief. Jack had some mourning to do as well. Not wishing to put a damper on the high spirits, he had slipped
away to find some privacy. He needed to
think... to think about Skaara.
Jack had been
shocked to discover the boy on the attack vessel but had soon realized this
could be their opportunity to rescue him from the Goa’uld influence. The SG-1 team had taken Klorel prisoner, and
O’Neill had managed to get past the parasite controlling the human’s mind long
enough to talk briefly to Skaara himself.
The youngster was unable to suppress Klorel for long, but it was long enough
for Jack to see that Skaara was still there, still fighting in spite of all he
was suffering. As he had told Klorel,
“He’s a tough kid.”
A tough
kid. Tough enough to lead his young
friends, little more than children, in the bloody fight to help O’Neill and his
men defeat Ra on Abydos. Tough enough
for his example to persuade his father and the rest of the Abydonian people to
join the battle. Tough enough to crack
the shell Jack had built around himself after Charlie died, a shell which he’d
thought to be impenetrable.
Yet in spite
of the toughness, there was no hardness to the boy. A harsh life working the naqahdah mines for Ra had somehow failed
to subdue the blazing smile that proclaimed his sunny disposition, open
friendliness, curiosity and fearlessness.
Even the hardass Jack O’Neill knew he’d become hadn’t been able to
resist the eager little kid who had saluted him at every opportunity and
somehow managed to make the isolated colonel begin to feel like a human being
again. Jack found it difficult to
reconcile that kid who’d saved his life and his men’s with the malicious alien
whose eyes glowed with the desire to annihilate his world.
Klorel had
quickly regained control of Skaara and in the ensuing firefight had attacked
Daniel Jackson. Jack was faced with an
impossible choice - to kill one of his best friends in order to save another.
How could he
possibly make such a choice? He stood
there with his gun pointed at this boy he’d come to look on as a son and
watched the Goa’uld in him discharge the force of a glove weapon upon the man
he’d come to look on as a brother. He
pleaded with Skaara to stop. He called
his name over and over, adjusting and readjusting his grip on the weapon he was
desperately trying to avoid using.
How could he
fire? How could he kill Skaara?
How could he
let Daniel die?
In the end,
there was really no choice to make.
Skaara was already more than half lost to them, and Daniel was a member
of his team. Jack was the team leader
and was responsible for the safety of the team. And he knew Skaara would not want to be responsible for Daniel’s
death - they were brothers-in-law, for crying out loud. Jack reflected that in some ways Daniel and
Skaara were a lot alike. They had the
same sweetness, the same boyish exuberance, the same passion for life. Jack was sure that Skaara would rather die
than kill his friend and hurt his sister in that way. Only, why in hell did O’Neill have to be his executioner?
Jack had to
shoot Skaara. He did it not only to
save Daniel, but to save Skaara as well from being Klorel’s murder weapon. That hadn’t made it any easier for him to
pull the trigger.
Two shots, in
quick succession - the sound exploded through his head, roaring, echoing, the
loudest gunshots he could recall ever hearing.
He knew he’d carry that sound with him for all his days.
He knelt by
the dying boy, cradling his head as Skaara said his name. It was Skaara and not Klorel who looked into
Jack’s anguished eyes with eyes that held only peace - no fear, no accusation. Skaara died as himself.
Jack didn’t
have time to grieve then, not even the second he’d asked for, because they had
reached earth and the battle to save the planet had taken precedence over
personal loss. Then during the fighting
he learned Klorel had been revived in the sarcophagus. They were back at square one. Skaara was alive. Hope sprang up to soften the pain still fresh within Jack. He might yet have another chance to save his
young friend.
That chance
seemed lost again when they sabotaged and blew up the ships. As far as he knew, Skaara and Apophis had
died in the resulting conflagration.
Between facing Daniel’s presumed demise, his own close brush with death
and that of his other friends and the return to earth to find Daniel miraculously
alive, Jack hadn’t had a spare moment to confront his grief over Skaara. He shuddered at the image of the youth
burning to death in the explosion. But
had he? Now that Jack finally had time
to think it over, he wasn’t so sure it was time to mourn yet.
He had fought
Apophis long enough to know his style of fighting. The gutless snakehead liked to hide - behind his serpent guards,
behind his shields. The alien would not
risk himself in battle without having an escape route up his sleeve.
The SG-1 team
had gotten away after all - Jack, Sam, and Teal’c, along with Master Bra’tac in
the death gliders, and Daniel through the stargate on Klorel’s ship. Who was to say Apophis and Klorel had not
escaped as well? No, until he knew for
certain, Jack decided he would consider Skaara MIA, not dead. He would not mourn the boy yet. If they had survived, the team would
encounter Apophis again. If Skaara was
out there, Jack would do all he could to find and save him.
A movement in
the room below caught his eye. Daniel,
Teal’c, and Sam had entered the gateroom and were looking around. As he watched, Daniel looked up and smiled,
pointing upward to inform the others that their friend was up there. They all looked up at him, waved, and
pointed towards themselves and out of the room. They were asking him to come back and join them at the
celebration.
Jack smiled
back and waved to indicate he’d be right down.
The time for mourning had not yet come.
It was time for celebrating. And
he had lots of reasons to celebrate.
Three of them were standing in the gateroom smiling up at him right now.
Originally published in the zine Gateways 1
© December 1998 The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa'uld and all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.