Amonet stood before her tent, one hand resting gracefully on the wooden post, watching calmly as the Tau’ri destroyed her army of Jaffa. Wave after wave fell before her eyes, but what did that signify? She was Goa’uld, and would overcome these pathetic creatures as she had countless times before. Her lip curled in derision. The fools, the little fools! They were weak and helpless, fit only to become hosts for such as she. This they would learn, slowly and painfully – and for all time.
A little gust of wind rose suddenly and blew her hair past her shoulder. In that instant she saw him, staring up at her in hope and amazement, blue eyes wide behind circles of glass. Deep within her she felt the stirrings of her host, the simultaneous shock of joy and dread with which she beheld the man who had been her husband. And Amonet laughed to herself at the feeble struggles of Sha’re for freedom.
You fool! You can never free yourself from me.
But a rush of defiance was her only answer, and Sha’re’s struggles increased. Amonet sighed wearily, and with a slight exertion of her will lashed out at the remnant of Sha’re within her, then listened triumphantly as she retreated into the darkness, weeping in pain and frustration. Amonet allowed herself a grim smile. Only once had the pitiful creature who called herself Sha’re succeeded in overcoming her, and the fool had suffered greatly for that. Amonet had given her excrutiating pain for months, pain that only a Goa’uld could inflict on its host, pain which would break her eventually, as it always did.
The young man, Daniel Jackson, was coming towards her, a strained look on his face and his eyes fixed hungrily upon her. She saw his lips move in a single word: Sha’re.
No longer, Daniel Jackson, I am now Amonet. Your wife is no more.
But out of the depths of her living burial, Sha’re cried out in desperation. "Dan’yel! Dan’yel, I am here! Oh Dan’yel, my Dan’yel, I am here!" Insolence! Amonet quelled her with a movement of her will, and Sha’re subsided, weeping bitterly.
Amonet watched as one of her guards emerged from the tent to stop him, pointing his staff weapon full upon the young man. To her mild surprise, Daniel Jackson raised his weapon and fired repeatedly, blinking at the loud reports of his gun, and the Jaffa fell. But Amonet laughed within herself. Though he could use a weapon, he was clearly not comfortable with it. He was weak, as were all his kind.
A second Jaffa emerged behind her and fired upon the young man, missing him, but throwing Daniel to the ground. He lay where he had fallen, his desperate eyes on her face, completely defenseless. Within her, Sha’re was screaming, struggling wildly for freedom. Feeling the terrible mental anguish of her host, Amonet rejoiced, anticipating the agony of Sha’re after watching the young man die before her, helpless within her own body. But at the last moment, the Jaffa was hit by a staff weapon blast, and Amonet saw Teal’c, the Shol’va. A brief flash of anger flared up within her as she felt the exaltation of her host. Teal’c was always there, it seemed, to disrupt her plans and those of her lord Apophis. His punishment would be unimaginable.
But it did not signify. Daniel Jackson would come to her, and when he did, she would kill him with her own hand. It was perfect. Watching herself kill her husband would crush Sha’re’s spirit forever, and would give Amonet the chance for revenge. In one fell swoop, she would avenge herself once and for all on both Sha’re and Daniel Jackson. For it was Daniel Jackson who had been the cause of her humiliation and defeat by her host, temporary as it had been. It was because of Daniel Jackson that Sha’re had found the strength, while Amonet was not yet fully in control after the birth of her child, to prevent her from telling her lord that Daniel was there. It was because of Daniel Jackson that Sha’re had continued to fight, day after day, instead of resigning herself to quiet oblivion as most hosts did. For all of this, he would suffer dearly.
Calmly and regally, she turned and walked back into her tent, where none would be able to see and interfere. And he followed, as she had known he would. Did she not know him as Sha’re did, who had been his wife and dearest companion? Her host stirred within her, and Amonet laughed within herself at Sha’re’s feelings of outrage.
She faced him as he entered the tent, watching proudly as he held his weapon pointed towards her. She saw his face behind the gun, his eyes wide and desperate with a hope he did not dare to show, and his hands were shaking. Weak, pitifully weak. He would never be able to harm her, out of love for her host, and Amonet knew it. This would be so easy.
He held the gun before him, almost as if he were afraid of it. "Don’t move," he warned, glancing around the tent as he came towards her. "Where’s the boy?"
Amonet sneered inwardly at the fear in his boyish, innocent face, and her eyes glowed for a moment. "Where you and the System Lords will never find him." Now, now, is the time. He will feel far more helpless with that weapon in his hand, knowing that he cannot use it.
Daniel Jackson seemed to anticipate her movement, for he tightened his hold on the gun and raised it higher. "Don’t," he said desperately.
Oh, the fool! Did he think he could make her believe he would ever use that on his beloved wife?
Slowly, she raised her hand, the ribbon device gleaming upon it. He would know her power to the full before he died.
"Don’t!" he yelled out in panic, and took aim with his weapon, but Amonet did not fear. In a moment more, her palm was open towards him, and the gem began to glow as a stream of gold struck Daniel on the forehead. Fighting all the way, he slowly fell to his knees beneath the excrutiating pain of the device. His eyes were looking into hers, full of pain and helplessness, of love for his wife and a hope beyond all hope and all fear.
"No, Sha’re. Fight it," he groaned out, his voice seeming to come from far away, and his gaze locked with hers. From far down in the darkness, Sha’re was looking through her eyes into his, crying out, "I am trying, Dan’yel, I am trying, but she is too strong! Save yourself, my husband, and kill me! Free me from this – oh, Dan’yel!"
"My host cannot help you," Amonet replied, raising her eyebrow haughtily. She was Goa’uld, one of the rightful rulers of the universe, and all the arrogance of her race was in her voice. Her face was cold, perfect, and regal as she burned the life from the kneeling man before her.
"Sha’re..." Daniel sighed once more. He was losing this battle, as did all who felt the power of the Goa’uld, and it would not be long now before she would be rid of him forever. She saw his hands sinking backwards over his shoulder, and his weapon slowly falling from them to the ground. A few moments after it reached the floor, he would be dead. It was almost a pity that he could not suffer longer, but this death was sufficiently painful. Yes, it was more important to kill him than to seek for ways to prolong his pain and risk an escape or rescue. Let him die.
Her eyes were glowing white as she watched him slowly dying before her. It was a sight she rejoiced in, for all the enemies of the Goa’uld deserved to be destroyed, and this man in particular had been a thorn in her flesh ever since she had taken Sha’re as her host. It would be good to see him lying dead at her feet, submissive at last, and testifying to the ultimate power of her race.
Prepare yourself, Daniel Jackson, for soon you will die, and this time there is none to help you. At last, you are completely within my power.
~*~
In still horror, Sha’re watched as she raised her own hand and turned the ribbon device against the only man she had ever loved. In a supreme effort, she struggled and cried out for him to kill her and save himself, but to no avail. Amonet was too strong, too strong... And yet she continued to fight with every last ounce of strength she possessed. For, as long as there was a chance, she could not give up and watch her Daniel die.
But time was running out now, and he was losing the battle for life. Sha’re cried out in her horror and sorrow, in her limitless anguish for what she was doing. Soon it would be too late, and she could not help him. In terrible silence, she watched as his weapon began to slip from his weakened fingers, the weapon that he would not turn against her even to save his own life. Slowly, slowly, it was slipping from his grasp. Once it fell to the ground, she knew, he would have very little time to live. There was nothing she could do.
In that moment, she saw Teal’c, Teal’c the Shol’va, the friend of her husband, standing in the doorway of the tent with his staff weapon in his hand. Instantly, she used all her remaining strength to block the sight from the knowledge of Amonet. Teal’c was gazing uncertainly from Daniel Jackson to Amonet, unsure of what to do. Yet Sha’re knew that before he allowed the Goa’uld to kill her husband, he would end her life. Sha’re rejoiced at this, for her Daniel would live, and she would at least be freed from Amonet forever. And yet... she was sorrowful as well: sorrowful for her lost life with Daniel, and for the pain he would suffer in losing her by a friend’s hand, to save the life which he seemed to value not at all. This was the end, for very soon she knew that Teal’c would fire. This was the end, and there was no longer any hope for the two of them, hope she had been living on for more than two years now. It had all been in vain. But at least he would escape, to live out the rest of his life, and there was still one thing she could do for him before the end, there was still time to say goodbye.
Sha’re concentrated every last ounce of her will and strength on the part of her mind that controlled the ribbon device, praying, praying that it would be enough. She bent all of her love, all of her fear, and all of the pain of her separation from Daniel upon it, projecting it through the ribbon device and into his mind. And now there was a bridge between his mind and hers and a world there that was all their own. There, time did not pass, and there she could tell him those things she needed to tell him, there they could say goodbye. Yet, even with the force of her emotions and the strength she was using, Sha’re knew that she would never have succeeded in this if Amonet had not been exerting a part of her control on the ribbon device.
Within this world of the mind, Daniel seemed to live for many days. Sometimes she was able to appear to him there, to talk with him once again. And it was sweet, so sweet, to hear his voice, to be with him, to see the love in his eyes and to feel the answering thrill in her own heart when those blue eyes held her own. His absence had been an ache in the depths of her soul for so long that the mere vision of him was enough to set her heart throbbing uncontrollably. But only rarely was she able to do this, for Amonet was powerful, and she was often snatched from his side after only a few moments with him. But she was always with him in her mind and spirit, suffering with him, weeping with his sorrow, and feeling the love for her that pervaded his entire being.
Always she was with him, though not often visible. Always she was beside him, leading him, begging him to forgive Teal’c, preparing him for her own death by letting him live through it before it had even happened. Always she was entreating him, "Hear me, Dan’yel."
She saw his tears when he thought her dead, and she yearned to wipe them away, one by one, to see the sunshine return to his eyes. She saw the joy in his face when he found her suddenly beside him, and a bittersweet sense of love and a desolation beyond anything in the world filled her heart. She knew his loss and heartbreak, the hole in his life that would never be filled again, and her heart bled for him, for the pain he would suffer because of her. She longed to take him in her arms, as she had so many times on Abydos, long ago; to whisper to him gently and rock him until the nightmare left him. She longed to comfort him, to tell him it would be alright, but she could not, for she must die to save him. And yet, in the midst of all the pain, she knew a great joy and a growing wonder at the depth of his love for her. Again and again she thanked God that it was revealed to her before she died.
Last of all, she saw him forgive Teal’c for her death, and her soul rejoiced in his warm and kind heart. Only then, finally, after he had forgiven his friend, could she tell him where the boy was. The end was fast approaching now, for she had nearly accomplished her purpose, and her strength was almost gone.
He came to her through the Chappa’ai, into the tent where it had all begun. There was a burn upon the floor which marked the place where she would die, and she saw him glance at it as he entered. She met him there, dressed again as a goddess, with a ribbon device upon her left arm and hand.
"You are finally here," she greeted him. I have waited long, Dan’yel, and now it is nearly finished. And I am very weary, my love.
"Yes," he replied, his eyes gazing into hers.
"You are the only one who can save the boy, Dan’yel." His life is in your hands; I know you will not fail me. I know, my love.
Daniel’s eyes were still locked with hers, as if he was drinking in the sight of her, as if his thirst could never be satisfied. "He’s a Harsesis. He contains all their knowledge." He said it as if he were repeating a lesson, but one that he had learned well.
Yes, Dan’yel, yes. You have listened to me, as you always did.
She was pleading with him now, pleading with him to understand, to believe her, before there was no more time. "Amonet took the Abydonians as a show, so that Heru-ur would not know her true goal."
"To take the boy." He understood, he always understood.
"She has sent him into hiding with her closest aid." There was no more time; Amonet knew and would prevent her. Oh Dan’yel, please!
"Where?"
And then she felt it, the pull of Amonet’s will upon her, dragging her back to the darkness, back to submission and slavery. No, not yet! I must tell him about the boy! Only a little longer and it will matter no more.
She saw Daniel’s concerned gaze upon her, and with a supreme effort of will, used it as an anchor to hold herself there, with him. But the pull was terrible, and she struggled against it for an eternity, her entire being concentrated on her husband’s face. Then, suddenly, she was free; she had won. But her time was nearly gone. She drew a deep breath and told him:
"Kheb."
There was a dawning comprehension in his face, then. "I know a Kheb. There’s a reference in Budge. It’s the mythical place where Osiris hid from Seth." Then, with a new disbelief on his face, and a strange resignation he said, "Kheb is a myth."
"No." Ah, Dan’yel, you must believe me! It is real and the boy is there. Please, Dan’yel, or I have struggled in vain.
"Where is it?" He believed her, she could see it in his eyes. But there was no time left, no time to tell him. Her Daniel would find it, of that she was sure.
No time. She put her left hand with its ribbon device on his cheek, her eyes desperate, begging him to believe her. She was almost weeping now, her eyes bright with unshed tears. Sha’re saw his eyes looking deep into hers, and knew then that he would believe whatever she told him. "Promise me you will save the child."
For a long moment they stared into each other’s eyes: hers beseeching, and his full of a love that she did not dare to contemplate, or it would break her heart, knowing that she must leave him so soon.
"I promise," he said. A sudden wave of love for him overwhelmed her then. She put her arms around his neck, and their lips met, one last time. For this moment they were together, and nothing else mattered but their love. It was the fulfillment of her entire life, this one kiss. It was a payment for all she had suffered, for all the endless months of fighting hopelessly. No one could hurt her now, and no one could take this away from her.
Suddenly she felt Amonet’s power come upon her in terrifying force, and she surrendered, for she had no more strength to fight. But it did not matter now, for she had done what she needed to do. She had accomplished her purpose.
With her surrender came the knowledge Sha’re had kept from her, that Teal’c stood behind her, ready to strike her down. Amonet whirled suddenly, but it was too late. With a single blast from his staff weapon, a fire burned into her, and she fell to the ground.
Sha’re saw her husband fall beside her: he was alive, and Amonet was dying. For a brief moment, Amonet felt Sha’re’s triumph, the triumph of a mere slave. And she died cursing her and all humans, screaming at her that the Goa’uld would be the true victors in the end. And with one last terrible inhuman cry and a final white glow of her eyes, Amonet was gone. Sha’re was free now, free at last, but she was dying, and there was so little time. Her husband lay before her, his eyes hungry, earnest, full of a terrible pain that threatened to overwhelm him.
A thousand regrets, a thousand prayers, a thousand fears, a thousand broken hopes filled her mind. Their life together and the way it could have been flashed before her eyes, making her heart ache. Images of what she had been forced to do for so long filled her with pain and sadness. But the sight of his face before her, willing her to live, drove everything else out. She yearned only to hold him to her tightly, to soothe his pain, as she had so many times before. She yearned to chase the shadows from his eyes, and to make him happy again.
We would have been so happy, love. I would live for you if I could, my Dan’yel.
But death was too strong. Death was coming on dark wings, pulling her away from the land of the living, from the husband she loved more than herself. There was so little time left for them to be together, so little time to look into his beautiful eyes before she was gone forever. There were a thousand thousand things to say before it took her from him: words of reassurance, of sorrow, of the happiness that had been theirs for a while, and then was so roughly snatched away. And all these thoughts brought only regret and a terrible sorrow to her last moments. Nothing was as it should have been. Their lives had been taken from them and changed into something terrible, something they had been helpless against. But for a year, a single year, they had been happy, happier than Sha’re had ever dreamed to be possible in this life. Their love was a thing so beautiful that time did not matter to it, did not change it in any way. It was a love that would last forever, a love that would never die, though the stars fell from the sky and the heavens exploded in fire. Because of that one year together, because of their love, it was all worth it. Nothing else mattered. There were a thousand things to say to him, and no time left.
"I love you, Dan’yel." And she knew suddenly, beyond a doubt, that everything she had wanted to tell him was summed up in that one sentence. There was nothing more to say now. Though he did not answer her in words, she saw the boundless love in his eyes, and her heart thrilled to it one last time before the darkness took her.
It is enough. I die happy.
Author's note: Dedicated to my sister, also my best friend and most helpful critic.
© April 11, 2004. The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa'uld and all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.