EPILOGUE for Forever in a Day
The sudden roar of the crowd brought Daniel's attention back to the game on the television screen. The Lakers had pulled ahead and the fans were on their feet, thundering their approval.
Whoopee.
From his reclining position on the sofa, Daniel raised a hand and rubbed at his tired eyes. He squinted at the screen, barely making out the small clock in the bottom corner of the picture. Third quarter? The last he remembered it had been only five minutes into the first. He had been staring absently at the television for over an hour.
Well, that was one more hour he didn't have to worry about.
The camera panned the cheering crowd, a few familiar faces of celebrities who were sitting courtside flashing across the screen. Daniel watched impassively as the fans smiled and clapped in their excitement. Their eyes shone with intensity as they watched their team score again. The stadium erupted once more as a player made a lay-up, extending their lead as the buzzer sounded.
He knew that kind of elation. He had experienced it many times. The first dig he'd been a part of in Egypt... receiving his degrees... the first time he had seen the Stargate... the moment he had laid eyes on Sha'uri...
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
It all seemed like a lifetime ago.
And now it was all gone. She was gone.
Ever since he'd awakened in the infirmary and realized the nightmare was a reality, he had been able to feel nothing. Shock. That was what Dr. Fraser had diagnosed. They still didn't know all the ramifications of the hand device he had been subjected to, and she had kept him there for tests and observation, but had been able to find nothing physically wrong with him.
He was just numb.
His friends had been there for him, never leaving his side as he prepared for Sha'uri's funeral. Jack, Sam, Teal'c -- they had all accompanied him to Abydos in full dress uniform. Even General Hammond had made the trip through the gate for the ceremony. It was a replay of the vision he had seen while under Ammonet's assault and he had been touched by their gesture. The ceremony had been brief, with Kasuf actually reciting the benediction. He had listened, but none of it had seemed real. It was if he was reliving a dream. He had closed himself off and listened to the words with his ears only. He had not allowed his heart to hear. He'd nodded at the words of sympathy directed his way and smiled sadly, assuring the mourners that Sha'uri was in a better place now. She had died free of the demon which had possessed her. That was something, wasn't it?
But he had still not allowed himself to feel. Feeling was something he dared not try. Feeling was more than he could possibly handle. Sam had tried to console him, but he had assured her he was fine. After all, he had really lost Sha'uri three years ago when Apophis took her to be his queen. All he had lost in the tent a few days ago was hope.
Hope. The one thing he had been living on for so long. The one thing that had become a lifeline to him and given him a reason to keep searching. His quest for his wife was the reason he got up each morning, hoping that this was the day he would step through the gate and find her. This was the day he would free her and take her home.
He had promised Kasuf he would return his daughter to him. This was not how he had intended to fulfill that promise. His father-in-law had wanted him to stay on Abydos after the ceremony, but he had not been able to grant the old man's request. Everything reminded him of Sha'uri and their short time together. He knew he could not remain there -- in what had once been their home -- and keep the pain at bay. He had explained to Kasuf about the promise he had made to his wife to find the boy and the older man had seemed to understand his desire to leave.
The boy.
The Harcissus.
Was he really out there? His heart told him the visions he experienced while under Ammonet's assault were a message -- a plea -- from Sha'uri to find her son, but his head had played devil's advocate and almost convinced him he was only remembering what he wished was true. He wanted to believe his wife was strong enough to contact him even though she was held captive inside her own body. Sha'uri had always been strong. She had always known exactly what she wanted and how to attain it.
He had attempted to convince Jack of the validity of the vision, but he could tell the colonel did not believe him. Jack had promised to speak to General Hammond about the matter, but Daniel knew him well enough to know when he was telling the truth or simply humoring him. This one was really a no-brainer. Even Sam seemed unconvinced the Gou'ald hand device was capable of being used to send such a message. Teal'c had been a bit more receptive, although Daniel couldn't be sure if it was because the Jaffa believed it was possible or because of his own feelings of guilt concerning Sha'uri's death. Teal'c had confirmed that if the child was indeed a Harcissus, it's potential value to their cause would be worth the effort of locating it.
But that was the catch. Daniel had no idea where the child was. In the vision, Sha'uri told him the child had been sent to a place called Keb. Teal'c had heard of it, but only as a myth. The location of the planet was long since forgotten, and Daniel had little to go on except for a few references in Earth's own history.
But he had promised to find the boy and make sure he was safe. He had failed his other promise, he would not let himself fail again.
A knock on the door brought his attention back to the present. He sighed, having a fairly good idea who was standing outside his door on a perfectly good Sunday afternoon. It had been 24 hours since they had returned from Abydos and he had managed to slip away from the well meaning, yet suffocating, concern of his friends. Daniel knew they were only trying to help. They wanted to be able to ease the pain of his loss. But, what they didn't realize, was that there was no pain. He didn't feel anything. He had tried to tell them he was okay, that he could handle it, but they had only looked at him in sympathy. It had all gotten to be too much.
He knew if he allowed it, the feeling would come through and he had no idea if he would be able to deal with it. It was much better this way. As long as he felt nothing, he could function. He could still do his job, he could still keep fighting.
He had to admit, he was tempted to follow his vision and resign from the SGC. Sha'uri was gone. She had been the reason he had wormed his way onto Jack's team in the first place. SG-1 would be fine without him. Hell, they would probably be better off with a military officer who actually respected the chain of command and followed orders. Jack would probably be able to save the few non-gray hairs he still had.
But Daniel had made a promise. Not only to Sha'uri, but to Jack and SG-1. He had become one of them and they needed him. There were still so many things to learn from the civilizations the Gou'ald had scattered across the universe. There was still so many things to discover about those worlds and about themselves in the process. They had even managed to make some pretty formidable enemies in Earth's name, some of which he held himself personally responsible for. And Ska'ara was still out there somewhere. Daniel may not have been able to save Sha'uri, but there was still hope for Ska'ara.
And then there was the child. His last promise to his wife. He couldn't do it alone. Whether they believed him or not, he knew Jack, Sam and Teal'c would back him up just like they knew he wouldn't run out on his responsibilities to SG-1.
The knocking on the door increased in volume, followed by a muffled, yet easily recognized voice.
"C'mon, Daniel. I know you're home. Open up."
Daniel lay his head back against the arm of the sofa and closed his eyes, resolving himself to the fact his visitor would not give up and leave until he was allowed inside and assured everything was okay.
Okay -- well that was a relative term if he'd ever heard one.
"It's open, Jack."
He listened as the door opened, only to be followed by a soft exclamation, "Oh." The side of Daniel's mouth lifted slightly at the colonel's surprise at having been expected. Daniel had known Jack would hunt him down as soon as he discovered the archeologist had slipped away from the base. He was just amazed it had taken him so long.
He waited quietly as Jack closed the door and stomped down the steps into the living room. His nose detected the scintillating aroma of tomato sauce and mozzarella even as he heard the pizza box drop onto the coffee table next to the sofa. He turned his head and peered up at his visitor who stood on the opposite side of the table, hands in pockets, staring back.
"Daniel."
"Jack."
"What'cha doin'?"
The exchange was gratifyingly familiar and brought a bit of warmth into his cold existence.
"What are you doing here, Jack?" He motioned toward the pizza box the older man had just delivered. "Considering a new career?"
Jack simply shrugged. "Nah, I'd probably eat most of the profits." He looked around, taking in the drawn shades and disheveled apartment. "I was just in the neighborhood. Thought I'd drop by."
Daniel nodded. "Just in the neighborhood, huh?"
"Yep. Stopped at that pizza place you like. Thought you might be hungry."
Daniel slowly sat up. The pizza did smell good. His stomach rumbled loudly, reminding him he hadn't really eaten anything since Dr. Fraser had forced breakfast into him prior to the trip through the gate to Abydos.
Jack grinned at the sound. "I'll take that as a yes." He turned and bounded up the steps to the kitchen without waiting for an answer. He grabbed two plates from the cupboard and quickly returned to the living room, taking a seat on the sofa next to Daniel.
"So, who's winning?"
"What?"
Jack motioned with an elbow toward the television as he slid the pizza box across the table. "The game. Who's winning?" He opened the lid and deftly pulled a slice of steaming pizza from the cardboard, placing it on a plate and handing it to Daniel.
Daniel took the plate thrust at him before answering. "Oh, thank you. Um, I'm not sure. The Lakers, I think."
Jack nodded, grabbed another slice and settled back, making himself comfortable. He glanced at Daniel, who had not even touched the pizza on his plate. "Som'fin wong?" he asked around a mouthful of pizza.
Daniel looked from the plate in his hand to O'Neill, his eyes squinting slightly in his confusion. "It's just that I thought you hated Canadian bacon and pineapple pizza." Daniel recalled the one time he had tried to order his favorite kind of pizza, Jack had outright laughed, telling him fruit belonged in the dessert, not on the pizza.
Jack simply shrugged and took another bite. "It was on special."
He grabbed two Cokes from the six pack on the floor and tossed one to Daniel before turning his attention back to the game.
"You know, Shaq wouldn't be able to hit a free throw if someone drew him a
map to the basket," he remarked as the Lakers' big center missed another shot. He took a gulp from the cola, settling in to watch the game.
Daniel shook his head, feeling a slow smile begin to spread across his face as he realized the numbness wasn't quite so complete anymore. Maybe feeling wouldn't be so bad. Maybe he just needed to feel a little at a time. It would take a long time to accept Sha'uri's death, but time was something he had plenty of. And at least he wouldn't have to face it alone.
He felt eyes upon him and looked up to see Jack watching him.
"You okay?"
Daniel considered the question for a moment before nodding. "Not yet. But I'm pretty sure I will be."
© June 20, 2000 The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa'uld and all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.