Note: This takes place during Daniel's dream, and while I know the dreams/hallucinations were from Daniel's POV, this is from Teal'c's.

Teal'c was surprised that Daniel Jackson came to Sha're's wake at all.

O'Neill had said something about dragging Daniel Jackson by his hair if he had to. Teal'c had not understood this statement, because even if it were effective in getting the archeologist to attend, Teal'c did not think he had enough hair to accomplish the task. Not anymore.

Like so much else, it too had changed.

At least Daniel Jackson had come and seemed to be willing to try to talk to people, or, least, Colonel O'Neill, which was more than he had done recently. Teal'c observed Daniel Jackson as he approached O'Neill.

"I want you to have this Jack."

Teal'c watched as Jack opened a small box and pulled out a small gold necklace. Teal'c recognized the symbol of Ra, but did not remember the artifact from any of their missions . It must have come from the first mission, when Daniel and Jack defeated Ra. When Daniel met Sha're.

Jack fingered the gold necklace, for a second his eyes had a faraway look as if he was remembering that first mission, then he looked at Daniel. "I can't take this, Daniel." Jack thrust the box back into Daniel's hands.

"Jack, you don't understand. I can't" Daniel swallowed and looked at his feet. "I just can't have this around me right now. Please. I don't want it."

Daniel pleaded his case with his eyes. Teal'c observed pain flash there briefly, but was not sure if the appearance of that emotion was a good or bad sign.

"Jack, please take it. It reminds me too much of her." Daniel repeated.

Sha're.

A powerful feeling of regret welled up inside Teal'c. Regret for the past and for the present.

"Fine, Daniel. I'll hold onto it for you. But I am not keeping it, do you hear me?"

Daniel shoved the box back into Jack's hands as though it were on fire. He rubbed his palms on his thighs nervously and walked away from them quickly. Jack glanced worriedly at Sam before snapping the gray box shut and cramming it into his left breast pocket.

Teal'c was puzzled by Daniel Jackson's behavior. On Chulak, when one lost a loved one, it was customary to surround oneself with the deceased's belongs during the three day abstinence of food and drink. They served as a reminder and celebration of a rich life. But had Sha're's life been rich? Teal'c pondered the question. Guilt racked him yet again for his role in the fate of Sha're.

Teal'c pulled himself out of his reverie to find Jack and Sam still looking uncomfortable.

"I do not understand this ritual. Why does Daniel Jackson wish to give away objects which hold great value to him? Is this a normal part of this ceremony?" he inquired.

Major Carter's eyes followed Daniel as he walked over to a chair and sat down dejectedly. "It isn't. Normally. I'm worried about Daniel."

"That is a great question, Teal'c." Jack answered, rubbing his face with both hands in exhaustion. "I wish I knew the answer."

"Sir, I'm worried about him. He hasn't eaten or slept since Sha...since she died. I've tried talking with him and I get nowhere. And now this! You can't tell me you think this is normal."

"No, Carter, I don't think it's normal at all!" the colonel responded with a shudder. His forehead wrinkled with worry. "Have either of you noticed Daniel's been, oh, I don't know, reserved lately. It's not like he typically shares his feelings with us, but when I was trying to talk him into staying, he almost broke down. But he didn't. It was like he slammed that particular door shut before anything could escape."

"I know what you mean, sir." Sam's trembling voice chimed in. "When he was still in the infirmary, I checked in on him, and he did not let one tear show, and he refused my offer to talk."

"Trust me when I say this is not healthy." Jack spoke with conviction.

Teal'c listened to his companions mutely, his question unanswered. He understood the fear their words conveyed, though. It was not the custom to give away precious possessions so soon after the death of a loved one. Teal'c's frown deepened as he considered what Daniel Jackson's actions meant.

"O'Neill, do you believe Daniel Jackson does not intend to retrieve the medallion from you?"

Jack jumped at Teal'c's implication, forced to solidify the reason for his worries. "Yeah. God, this is such a mess!" He bleakly stared at an undefined spot in the distance. "I didn't want to say this before. Maybe I didn't want to admit it. But Daniel looks like" Jack paused, unable to continue.

"Like you did at the start of the first mission to Abydos, sir?" Sam finished.

"Yeah, like that. Worse than that. He looks how I felt back then. We should keep an eye on him."

<Hear me, Daniel.>

Teal'c was worried about Daniel too. Daniel should have been angry with Teal'c, furious with him for killing Sha're. Instead Daniel seemed too calm, too accepting.

O'Neill, Major Carter, Dr. Fraiser and General Hammond had planned a small get together for Daniel, in the hope to provide him closure and possibly raise his spirits. Teal'c could not help but remember the similar wake they held for Daniel himself, of how that event did little to assuage his feelings of loss and sadness.

Word of the wake had spread quickly throughout the base, and the small gathering ballooned into a large affair and was moved to a nearby park. Very few of the base personnel had actually met Sha're, but they all knew Daniel.

Teal'c continued to observe Daniel Jackson closely. He knew he should not be surprised at Daniel Jackson's inability to forgive him for ending her life, but he was nevertheless. Daniel Jackson had proven to be a human of extraordinary compassion and understanding, yet all of Teal'c's attempts to obtain forgiveness had been brutally rejected.

He was not ready to give up on his young friend. Teal'c soberly made his way to the dejected archeologist. His heart soared with the hope of forgiveness.

Daniel sat on a chair, his hands hung limply at his sides and gazed at the ground, his face blank. Teal'c sat down stiffly in the chair next to him. He tempered his face to reveal nothing, but had to attempt communication with the young man again.

"Daniel Jackson, I-"

"Go away, Teal'c."

The voice was so devoid of emotion Teal'c could hardly recognize it as Daniel Jackson's.

"Very well."

Teal'c stood. Daniel Jackson was not yet ready to forgive him, and perhaps never would. He looked down at the seated archeologist. "I regret the sorrow that I have caused you."

"Teal'c. I told you to leave me alone." Daniel stood up, angrily, and stalked away.

O'Neill and Major Carter walked over and stood beside Teal'c.

"I regret that I may have made him feel worse."

Colonel O'Neill gazed at the dejected man. "Give him time."

"Yes, be patient with him. He'll get over it," Carter corroborated.

Teal'c was not so sure, but he remained silent.

Now Daniel was alone, people approached him to express their sorrow. He mumbled his appreciation at first, but eventually he stopped even that, and they left him alone.

Teal'c became increasingly uneasy as he watched Daniel withdraw himself from the crowds, staring off into space with a frighteningly blank face. That lack of expression escalated Teal'c's already substantial trepidation. In the three years he had been acquainted with Daniel he had come to enjoy how freely the young man displayed his emotions. Now however, Daniel demonstrated no exuberant gestures. His eyes did not light up when he spoke. It was as though this Daniel Jackson was a bad reproduction of the original. Perfect on the outside, but completely empty on the inside.

Teal'c had witnessed many humans calmly throw themselves at the Jaffa hoping for death after their loved ones were taken from them. He saw the same calm apathy on Daniel Jackson's face, and was disquieted by the implications.

The concept of celebrating the death of a loved one was strange to Teal'c. Most people just stood around in small groups talking softly. Daniel seemed to withdraw into himself, and walked off alone. Sam and Teal'c watched him go.

"It's not good for Daniel to be alone right now. It's not good to be alone when you're grieving."

This was a concept Teal'c understood well. "It is customary on Chulak for a family member or close friend to remain close to the mourner." Teal'c commented, raising his eyebrow dramatically. "There were instances where the grief could not be relieved by the sharing of memories."

"Daniel doesn't have a family, except us. Not anymore."

"Indeed." Teal'c stood up.

Sam touched his arm. "Where are you going?"

< Hear me, Daniel.>

Daniel stood on a craggy outcrop soaring high above the surrounding landscape. He stood precariously close to the edge, occasionally dislodging a stone. Teal'c noted the cliff was heavily eroded near Daniel's feet. With deliberate intent, Daniel threw a stick and watched it while it fell, turning end over end, until it was out of sight.

Not wishing to startle the distraught man, Teal'c made sufficient noise as he approached. Daniel turned slightly to see who was disturbing his solace, then turned to face forward.

"It is a long way down." Teal'c said from behind Daniel.

Daniel gave a start, but did not turn around. "Go away, Teal'c."

"I will not go away, Daniel Jackson. We have a tradition on Chulak, one who suffers a loss such as yours is never left alone."

"We're not on Chulak."

"That does not matter. It is my duty." Teal'c stood behind Daniel and they watched the scenery in silence.

"Dammit, Teal'c. I don't want you here. Go away." Daniel repeated tonelessly.

"I state again: I cannot." Teal'c replied firmly. "To leave now would mean I failed you once again, Daniel Jackson."

A rough, barking laugh shocked Teal'c. The idea of Teal'c's noble mission amusing him somehow. "No, Teal'c, no. You haven't failed at anything. I forgave you, like she asked. What more do you want."

"I do not understand."

"No, of course you don't."

"I don't understand what happened today. I thought the ceremony would help, but it only made matters worse."

Teal'c waited for him to continue.

"Teal'c, leave me alone."

"I cannot."

Daniel turned and looked at Teal'c. "How long are you going to stand there?"

"As long as it takes."

"I... was afraid of that." Daniel paused as if considering the idea, or looking for a loophole. "What happens when you have to go into Kel nor eem?"

"Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter have the honor to take my place."

The silence stretched between them.

"I'm losing her Teal'c. I know she's dead, but I used to be able to hear her voice, clear and soft. I would think I'd find her, just on the other side of the gate waiting for me. I used to talk to her, just like you and I are talking. But now," his voice choked on the last words, "she's dead."

Teal'c felt a surge of uncertainty as Daniel took a tiny step forward, pebbles skittering over the cliff.

"Daniel Jackson! I will not allow you to do this!"

"How can you stop me? Why would you want to?" Daniel cried hopelessly.

"Why would I want to? Daniel Jackson, you are my friend. That is not a designation I give to many. Your friendship was granted despite my actions, which caused you great pain. It is my honor to call you friend, when by all standards, you should consider me an enemy."

Daniel shrugged off the words as if they were an unneeded blanket. "You're not my enemy, Teal'c. You never were. Please go away."

"I cannot."

Daniel sat down, hugging his knees. He stared blearily down into the valley. "It would be so easy."

"What would?"

"To stop fighting. To just give up." He rested his head on his knees. "To..." He gestured down the cliff.

"Would Sha're really want you to die?"

Daniel looked at Teal'c in shock. "What!"

"Would Sha're really wish you to die. I do not believe she would."

"How do you know what she would want? You didn't know her, Teal'c." Daniel's voice faltered. You never saw her, really, as anything but a slave to Amaunet."

"No, I did not know her. But I know you Daniel. And I don't wish for you to die."

"Why do you care?"

"She would not want you to feel this way."

"No. Probably not." His voice was muffled.

Daniel looked at Teal'c. "Why didn't you just let me die? Then she would still be alive."

"She would still be trapped as a Goa'uld."

They sat and watched the sun setting.

Daniel looked at his hands. "She loved my hands. They were so soft and sensitive compared to Abydonian men. I can't believe I'll never see her again. Somehow, it's not worth going on knowing she's gone."

"She would not want you to give up. She would want you to fight for her, to fight for her child."

"Why did you choose her on Chulak? Why didn't you choose someone else? Anyone else?"

"I did not have a choice."

Daniel turned and looked at Teal'c disbelief etched in every new line. "Of course you did."

"I did not."

Daniel waited for Teal'c to explain further, but Teal'c did not say anything. "Okay, I give up. Why not?"

"When I saw Sha're, I knew she was going to be the new Queen. I offered several other women to be chosen, but I knew they would be rejected. I tried to postpone it, but more people died. If we had not gone to Abydos that day, it would still have happened. And more people would have died. "

"But if I had known she was your wife, I would never have chosen her."

"You would have chosen the wrath of Apophis to save her?"

"Yes. But I would have been killed."

"Oh."

"Could we have done anything differently?"

"I do not believe so."

The edge of the sun dipped below the horizon filling the valley with darkness. Daniel stood up. "Well, maybe we should go back."

Teal'c stood as well. "Indeed we should."

"So, uhm... are you going to accompany me everywhere?"

"Yes."

"For how long?"

"As long as it takes."

© January 19, 2001 The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa'uld and all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.