• SPOILERS: Abyss
• SUMMARY: Jack does a little thinking, and a little talking, after his escape from Ba'al.
• PG [1st]

It's three a.m.

The infirmary is dark, but not completely so. Light from somewhere over by the doorway throws long shadows across the ceiling. The air is cool on my arms and face, and there's a low, continuous hum of medical

gadgetry in the background.

This place, however familiar to me, will always feel alien. The smells, sensations, the memories of things lost.

Before Ba'al, I believed implantation, that word I swear will never come from my mouth again, ever, was the worst thing that could be inflicted upon any living thing. Absolutely, unequivocally, no correspondence will be entered into, case closed kinda deal. After Baal? Depending on my state of mind, my frequently changing, doesn't
quite feel like it belongs solely to me yet mind, I still think having a filthy, rotten, back-stabbing snake stuck in your head is the worst thing that could ever be inflicted upon any living thing. Tok'ra, Goa'uld, take your pick, because if there ever was a distinction between the two slime sucking breeds, there sure as hell
isn't one anymore.

But now . . . courtesy of hindsight that no one should ever be expected to live with . . . a new contender for the all-time worst thing title has stepped into the ring.

Perpetual torture. No hope of reprieve, no release into undisturbed death. Which, when you think about it, is really no different to being trapped inside a body that doesn't belong to you any more, only you have unlimited trips to the buffet of unbearable pain to go with it. As much as you can't take, and more.

I'd laugh, except I know for sure I'd sound like a crazy man.

Daniel told me I'd be all right. To trust him. I can do that . . . now. But by God, I wish I could say I always trusted him, in the truest sense of the word. Life with Daniel wasn't easy. There was right and wrong, no in between, and my trust amounted to expecting him to do a lot of stupid things for a lot of stupid reasons. Okay, not stupid reasons. Idealistic doesn't equal stupid. But he was he, and me was me, and we went through a lot of tough times because of it. Looking back, Daniel Jackson earned my trust a million times over, if I'd been man enough to give it. He deserved that much, at least.

I want to close my eyes. I'm tired in a way I've never been before, but unless I'm drugged to the gills, I keep them open. Close them, and I feel like I'm falling. Residual effects from those gravity devices, Fraiser says. Withdrawal from the sarcophagus, as well.

I'd like to believe that's all it is, too.

I watch the shadows on the ceiling, because I can't shut my eyes. And I think about things.

The infirmary should be quiet at three in the morning, but there's that hum, and the door just opened again. There's hushed voices talking that aren't all that hushed, and the sound of papers rustling. And footsteps. Eventually they stop, just outside my closed off corner of the world.

The curtain parts slightly.

"O'Neill."

Teal'c steps in, stands near the end of my bed. I don't want to talk, but like I said before, I don't want to close my eyes either.

"It's three a.m.," I finally say.

"Three fifteen," the big guy replies.

"Which doesn't explain why you're here."

"Major Carter believes we should have done more. That our inability to retrieve you from Ba'al's stronghold means we failed you. Worse, that you believe this to be true."

I really wish I'd kept my mouth shut earlier. If ever I feel reasonable again, I can always blame it on withdrawal.

"And you feel the need to discuss this at three fifteen in the morning?"

"Yes," Teal'c replies. Like it's the most normal thing in the world.

"For chrissakes, all I said was, great plan, Carter."

"But you do not believe this to be true."

I take a deep breath, blow it out. "It was a good plan. It was the only plan that had any hope of working. It's just . . ." I start thinking about my escape all over again. "I really don't know how I got out of there. The cell opened, I only had to beat up one guard between me and the Stargate. Hell, I didn't even know where the
Stargate was."

"The slave woman?"

"Was no help at all. She just kept on saying we were going to get caught. When she wasn't asking whether it was really me or not."

Teal'c's eyebrow goes up, but I've said enough. More than I want to, for now.

"Then you were not privy to the entire plan."

Oookay, maybe the conversation isn't over yet.

"The entire plan?"

"The entire plan that was Daniel Jackson's doing, although we are to believe otherwise."

Well, now I'm confused. Teal'c sees I'm confused, so he continues with what I'm hoping will be some sort of explanation.

"Daniel Jackson came to me as I was meditating, although he wished to remain unseen. He preferred me to believe his plan was my own. I am confident he also visited Major Carter, but she was unaware of his presence."

That all sounded like a crock of shit to me. Daniel sure didn't seem to mind popping out of thin air when he was visiting me. But this was Teal'c I was talking to, and Teal'c doesn't talk shit. I know thateveryone knows that, but still I need some convincing.

"Why wouldn't he want you to see him? And how come you did, anyway?"

"I have previously communed with the essence of Daniel Jackson, and am therefore sensitive to his presence. In addition to receiving the idea of alerting Yu to Ba'al's location, I was also able to perceive Daniel's intentions to see you home safely."

Daniel, you sly dog. Had something you had to do, huh? And I'd thought you'd gone off to catch up on your laundry.

I smile. "See me home safely. You make it sound like it was a first date or something."

Teal'c ignores that remark and says, "Daniel Jackson, in whatever form, would never abandon any one of us, let alone you. While others may have doubted your safe return, I did not. However, I was privy to the entire plan. "

"The entire, extremely great plan." I take a moment to reflect. "You still didn't answer my question," I remind Teal'c. "Why didn't Daniel just show himself to you and Carter? Let you in on it?"

"As you are no doubt aware, O'Neill, Daniel Jackson is not permitted to interfere in such matters. It must appear to all that he played no part in your escape."

I mentally cross my fingers. Hope you don't get busted on my account, Danny.

"You know, interfering was what Daniel always did best." Memories come tumbling back unbidden, and I pause, caught up for a moment in other places, other times. I clear my throat. "And I mean that in a very good way."

Teal'c, who looks like he might be remembering too, replies, "I agree, O'Neill."

"So, the dozen or so unconscious guards I had to step over on my way to the Stargate?"

"Were undoubtedly subdued by Yu's forces," Teal'c replies, completely unfazed.

"And the way the symbols on the DHD engaged when I ran my hand over the panel, even though I can't really remember pushing down on any of them?

Hmmm. He seems a little stumped trying to find an excuse for that. I take the opportunity to land another one on him.

 
"Including the point of origin that I had no clue about?"

 

Teal'c purses his lips slightly then intones, "I believe it would be wise to mention neither of these instances, O'Neill."

"Not a problem," I say. "I can do wise."

To that, Teal'c remains oddly silent. Meanwhile, my smile is starting to feel comfortable again. In fact, I think it's turning into a grin. "Daniel. Some things never change, hey?"

Teal'c nods once, smiles, then nods again. The second nod more a sign of admiration than anything else.

"I believe Daniel Jackson has further plans for you on your journey, O'Neill."

Prior to saying that, the big fella had been batting a thousand. You gotta hit a slump sometime, I suppose.

"You're wrong there, buddy. Daniel said he wouldn't be coming back."

"Perhaps he wishes you to believe that."

I contemplate the implications. Daniel had been pretty keen on me trying the whole ascension sheebang there for a while.

"If he thinks he's turning me into some half assed, crap talking glow show, he'd be wrong. It's never gonna happen." I look around, just in case Daniel's essence is lurking in a corner somewhere. "So privy that."

Teal'c looks smug. On the off chance that invisible Daniel is still here, I add, "Although knowing how to do the lightning bolt thing would be pretty cool."

"You will be able to close your eyes and sleep peacefully now, O'Neill."

"Ya think?"

"You will be all right," Teal'c replies, that smug little smile still on his face.

I smile as well. "I've heard that."

And I close my eyes

This was my first real attempt at fic. I’ve always been intrigued by the Teal’c/Daniel relationship and thought it deserved fleshing out a bit. Still do…

© August, 2002 The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa'uld and all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.