Jack looked back through the mirror, past the grieving widow to the destruction visible through the open doorway. Scorched walls and collapsed beams partially blocked the corridor. Only in his mind did Jack see the bodies he and Kawalsky had passed on their way to the generator. Carefully stepping around the corpses, Jack would tell himself he didn't know these people. The Siler he knew was alive and well back in his own universe. As were Simmons and Warner and Makepeace.
The view flickered before flashing out, severing the connection between the two universes. It was an ordinary mirror again, reflecting the images in the room.
Jack wished his memories could be turned off as easily. Lifting his gaze, he was surprised to see Daniel's eyes resting on him.
In a voice so low it was almost lost in the commotion of airmen assembling a crate around the artifact, Daniel asked, "Are you all right?"
"I should be asking you that question," Jack softly replied, gesturing towards the cut under Daniel's left eye.
Gently fingering his swelling cheek, Daniel wryly observed, "They weren't too happy when they found their Teal'c dead."
"Let's get you to the infirmary."
"It's not that bad, Jack."
"Humor me." Putting a hand on Daniel's shoulder to steer him out of the room, O'Neill could feel the tremors wracking the slight frame. Having experienced the after-effects of a zat gun blast himself, he knew the cause and could sympathize. Still, it was another reason the younger man should be checked out by a physician. Gently prodding his friend down the corridor to an elevator, Jack pushed the button to summon a car.
"You never answered my question," Daniel persisted. "Are you all right?"
"With?" Though Jack had an idea where Daniel was heading, he wanted it confirmed before he responded.
"The whole business with Dr. Carter."
"Yeah," Jack truthfully revealed. "She wasn't our Major Carter and I wasn't her Jack O'Neill."
"Was it hard to say good-bye?"
"Only insofar as I knew it would hurt her."
"Then what's bothering you?"
The elevator arrived, giving Jack a moment to collect his thoughts. Leaning against the back wall of the car, he stared at the floor. What he saw were friends with holes in their chests. Hammond lying on the floor dead. Daniel withering from a zat gun blast, the muzzle pointed at his back for the second shot. The shot that killed. "On the way to the generator the corridors were littered with bodies . . ."
"They weren't the people you know," Daniel hastily reminded him. "Anymore than Dr. Carter was Sam."
"One of them almost was. You nearly died, twice in the same universe."
"Almost only counts in horseshoes."
"Daniel?"
"Jack?"
"Don't give me cliches." Jack waved his finger at Daniel. "I'm the king of cliches."
"I'm just saying I've been there before. I know what you're feeling."
"No," Jack quietly contradicted, "you don't. You were alone in that other universe. As you said they weren't the people we know. But I know you."
"It was a mission, Jack. Just like any other."
Suddenly feeling old and tired, Jack shook his head. "Remember what Dr. Carter said? This appears to be one of the few universes where the Goa'uld haven't overrun Earth."
"We've been lucky," Daniel conceded, rubbing his jaw where a multi-colored bruise was beginning to appear.
Jack lifted his gaze and rested it on his friend, a glint of wonder in his eyes. "Coins, rabbits' feet, a four leaf clover, those are the lucky charms most people carry. We have you."
Daniel's initial expression of confusion changed to embarrassment.
"The you in the other two universes refused Catherine's offer to translate those tablet thingies." Jack waved a hand, drawing an imaginary square. "Why did you accept?"
Crossing his arms over his chest, Daniel softly admitted, "Because she was the only one who still looked at me with respect. A majority of my colleagues thought," Daniel hesitated before rephrasing, "think, I'm crazy."
The elevator jerked to a stop. After a moment's hesitation, the doors opened. Jack gently pushed Daniel out ahead of him. Instead of walking out into an empty, well lit corridor, Jack entered a familiar hell. Even as he told himself it wasn't real, that there was no smoke blackening the air, no bodies littering the floor, his blind gaze saw Sergeant Siler's face. The man's accusing eyes had stared sightlessly up at him.
"Jack?"
The hand on his shoulder squeezed tighter, demanding attention. An umbilical cord to life, to this universe, it drew Jack back into the clean, untainted world that was his own. "I'm all right, Daniel."
"Could've fooled me. If you want my opinion, I think you need to see the doc more than I do."
A wry smile curved Jack's lips in partial agreement. Talking to a trained professional might dim the images in his head. But he knew from experience nothing would ever make them go away. Like so many other unpleasant pictures, he would learn to live with them - in time. All he had to do was figure out how to fit a six foot, one hundred and seventy pound archeologist in his pocket.
© 2000 The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa'uld and all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.