Yesterday was such a good day. I got to go and play astronaut. No wonder General Carter wanted this for Sam. It was fun bouncing around in zero gravity. Then we retrieved the orb. Even that went okay at first. Carter and Daniel were as excited as two kids in a candy store. Then all hell broke loose. The thing started to heat up and give off all sorts of alarming readings. Teal’c and I tried to get rid of it through the gate. Then the fun really started. It shot out barbed spikes, with amazing speed. Teal’c managed to avoid getting hit, but I was not so lucky, and now, here I sit, pinned to the concrete wall behind me with a spike through my shoulder. I can’t believe how much this hurts. Teal’c tried to shoot it, under my orders, and all that seemed to do was to cause me more agony.
I must have blacked out for a moment, because Janet is here working on me. It’s so hot. Did someone turn up the heat? I must have said something as Janet turned to tell me all about an infection I seemed to have developed. It’s hard to concentrate on what she’s saying. My thoughts seem to be scattered all over the place. Little whisperings keep popping into my head and I don’t really recognise them as my own. Curious.
I hear Carter tell me that it is going to get dark in here. Funny, it already seems that way. Blue lights come on and I see people staring at me with shocked expressions through the glass in the control room. Maybe it just hit them that I really am doing my impersonation of a bug collection.
It’s so hot now. I keep drifting in and out of things. I try to gather my thoughts when I notice Teal’c standing there beside me. Doesn’t he ever get tired? We talk for a moment when I realise that the man is making a joke! Teal’c joking! Will wonders never cease? I start to laugh but the movement causes pain to course throughout my body. I look at Teal’c, and it suddenly hits me how much this man has come to mean to me. I call him my friend, and he returns the compliment, both of us knowing the depth of those words. Teal’c looks to Siler for a moment, and the next thing I know , the most excruciating pain slams into my body. Oh God, I don’t know how much more I can stand.
As I drift slowly back to consciousness it occurs to me that I caused all of this. I know the self-destruct has been activated. All of those men and women that I have come to care about, and those that have become like my family, are all going to die because of me. Teal’c looks at me and tries to reassure me that I made the right choice in bringing the orb back, but I know he’s wrong. I screwed up and now everyone else will pay the price along with me. Everything I touch and care about seems to die in front of me. Charlie, my marriage, Kawalsky, men and women under my command. It’s fitting that I go this way, but why does everyone else always have to suffer for my mistakes?
Everything seems so far away now. The whisperings in my head seem louder now, but I know they can’t be real. I see my friends in front of me, and I see the love and fear in their eyes, but the words don’t make sense any more. Carter comes and touches my hand. I know I’m dying as I can barely feel that touch, and oh how I want to.
Things are fading now. I think my body is in pain again, but I’m not sure. It feels so far away. Darkness is what I know now, and it is somewhat comforting.
Something has changed. I can see my friends and hear them, but they are not talking to me. I mean, they are talking to my body, and it answers them, but it’s not me. I listen to what’s being said and it seems that what we thought was an infection in me is really some kind of alien life form. Great. I hate anyone knowing what’s going on in my head, and now it seems something has moved in there. Now I know how Carter felt when Jolinar took over. I feel like I’m watching from the sidelines. I can understand everything, but I have no control. At least I’m not in pain any more. Everything is going dark now. Hold on, my eyes are opening again. "I - we" look at Teal’c then down at my shoulder. The spike, which has been holding me all these hours is removing itself. Slowly we climb down the stairs and go to the orb. The voices in my head are all talking at once. It’s very confusing but my body seems to know what to do. We pick up the orb after all the spikes retract and walk it up to the waiting gate. We place the orb within the naquada ring and for a brief second I think I hear a faint thank you in my head. Darkness comes over me quickly as I feel myself fall backwards.
I wake up to the sound of my own thoughts, and no others. I hear footsteps running up the ramp behind me. It’s Teal’c and Daniel. I look at them for a moment, then check my shoulder. Unbelievable. There is no wound. Sam joins us and they all take turns talking to me. I guess they thought I was gone as much as I did. I tell them that they did a good job, then I turn Teal’c’s joke back on them. I know Sam and Daniel don’t get it, but for once Teal’c will. They help me to stand and together we walk down the ramp. I can feel my weakened body begin to sway, but my friends are there to help me, again. As a team once more, we leave the room.
The end.
© December 4, 1999 The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa’uld and all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.