CHAPTER 2 - THE BROCA DIVIDE
Responsibilities
Part 1 - Prologue
Journal Entry, Earth
I'm learning, once again, what it's like to be up against the military mindset. Stargate teams have been going through the Stargate for three weeks now. The teams going through -- a mixture of Air Force and Marine military personnel -- have been given the directive of searching for signs of the Goa'uld and seeking allies and/or weapons to aid us in our fight. I understand the importance of all this, of course, but we are wasting valuable opportunities to expand our knowledge each time we step onto a new world and neglect to study the culture there.
The Stargate Project may be the most important endeavor for the future of mankind the world has ever known. But to realize its full potential, we need to evaluate the scientific and cultural values of each mission, along with the strategic importance, and extend our stay on planets to do the proper and necessary research to achieve those goals.
So far I am the only civilian on any team. I've presented a proposal to General Hammond to include either a civilian or military linguist, archaeologist or anthropologist on each team and to expand the missions to include scientific and cultural research. The general took my proposal and said he would pass it on to his superiors (I think he means the President), but I doubt he'll attach his own recommendation to it, so I don't know how much weight it will carry. Jack wasn't very encouraging either; he reminded me this is a military operation with military goals and objectives, and he hasn't seen any evidence of the military being interested in old rocks. So far Sam is the only person I've talked to who understands the importance of expanded missions and the incredible potential of the knowledge we could gain.
But I won't stop trying. This is too important.
D. Jackson
*****
Part 2 - "I lost my friend on the dark side of this planet."
*Teal'c*
"Fire your weapon. It will frighten them off." I do as I have instructed Daniel Jackson and fire my weapon above the heads of the Touched as they attack us. As I thought, the noise of the gunfire frightens them and they run away. When I am sure they will not return, I turn to Daniel Jackson so we can continue our mission...
He is not here. I call for him, sweep the surrounding darkness with my night vision goggles, but he is gone. As is Melosha.
I see something familiar on the ground and kneel to pick it up. Daniel Jackson's glasses. I realize he has been captured by the Touched.
O'Neill's words come back to me, words he spoke to me before we took our first mission as SG1:
"Teal'c, I don't know whether you've picked up on it or not, but Daniel's not like the rest of us here."
"Indeed. He is a scholar, O'Neill, a man of great learning, not a warrior."
There was a look on O'Neill's face as if he were remembering something. "Let's just say, he doesn't have our training and experience." Then he added with a small smile, "And let's just say he doesn't have our instincts for self-preservation, either. Which means if we get into trouble, he might not always, ah, jump the right way."
Even though O'Neill's words were somewhat strange in his explanation, I understood what he was saying. "He will be protected, O'Neill. I will allow no harm to come to Daniel Jackson while I am alive to prevent it."
O'Neill's eyebrows raised and he looked a little surprised, but he nodded. "We're a team now, Teal'c," he said, his words slow and careful. "That means we share the responsibility of looking out for each other. All I'm saying is that Daniel might need a little extra looking after."
"Understood." Satisfied with my response, O'Neill nodded again, then left. As he walked away I silently repeated my vow to allow no harm to come to the young scholar. It was the duty of those skilled in warfare to protect the innocents who were not. But even more than that, because of my participation in the capture of his wife, it was my responsibility to keep him safe as we searched for her.
And now I have failed in that responsibility. I have failed O'Neill, and I have failed Daniel Jackson.
Two duties pull at me, but I know I will have to abandon my friend to the Touched while I seek the cure for the sickness that has befallen our comrades back at SGC. Only then will I be able to return and rescue Daniel Jackson.
***
"Colonel O'Neill."
His face still altered with the sickness that has infected his body, O'Neill brings his head up to look at me. "Teal'c." It is barely a whisper, barely understandable, but he recognizes me.
I kneel down in front of him and force myself to meet his eyes. I take a deep breath and confess, "I am afraid I lost Daniel Jackson on the dark side of the planet. I am sorry."
There is silence, but I can see from the reaction on his face that, even in his sickness, he understands the danger our friend is in.
Then Doctor Fraiser bursts in and exclaims, "Colonel O'Neill! I have something."
*****
Part 3 - "Lucy, I'm home."
*Jack O'Neill*
All I can think of as I quickly gear up is Daniel and how he's been in the hands of those Neanderthals for almost six hours. That's how long it's taken to get everyone here at base back to normal and up to fighting strength again. We got a first hand look at just how savage the Touched are when we first gated through, and my imagination is working overtime with what they might have done to him during that time.
Damn it! This should never have happened. Teal'c told me about Melosha, and it doesn't surprise me one bit that Daniel was willing to risk his life, Teal'c's life, and the mission to help her. He still doesn't understand what it means to function as part of a team, to realize that sometimes you have to make hard decisions when --
I cut off that line of thought impatiently. There's no point thinking about that now. When I get him back to base... I slam my locker door shut with more force than necessary. When I get him back, I repeat firmly; I refuse to accept anything else.
I shrug into my backpack and double-time it to the Gateroom. I said fifteen minutes, and those jarheads better be there and ready to go or I'll have Makepeace's ass in a sling.
***
"We going to try to trank all the Touched?"
I don't bother to look at Carter as I say flatly, "Just the ones who get in the way of us finding Daniel. We'll leave the rest for the Untouched."
"Do you think he's still alive?"
Then I do look at her. A long look. I see her eyes widen a little and I trust she's gotten the message. "Let's find out."
*****
Part 4 - "There's our boy."
*Jack O'Neill*
I grin to myself as I stride ahead of Carter, letting that last comment about the tank top sink in. If she's going to be a part of this team, she's going to have to loosen up a little. After all, a little sense of humor never hurt anyone.
Then I see Daniel up ahead stumbling along, with Teal'c's steadying hand on his arm, and my smile fades. The kid looks like hell. His clothes are ripped, he's holding an arm tightly against his middle in a way that tells me he might have some bruised or cracked ribs, and he's moving like he's still in a daze. I remember my own recovery and it wasn't exactly gentle, but at least Fraiser had pumped enough sedatives into me beforehand to keep the discomfort at a minimum. Daniel hadn't had that luxury.
I quicken my pace and draw up alongside them, then slow it again to match Daniel's shuffling gait. I trade a look with Teal'c over Daniel's bowed head. The big guy hasn't left Daniel's side since we found him in the Touched camp. I'm content to leave it that way. If this helps Teal'c with that load of guilt he's been carrying around since losing Daniel in the first place, then so be it. Just then, Daniel stumbles, and it takes both Teal'c's grasp and a quick grab by me to keep him on his feet.
"Sorry," Daniel mumbles.
"O'Neill, perhaps we should allow Daniel Jackson to rest."
"No, no, 'm okay."
"Good idea, Teal'c," I approve, ignoring Daniel's protests.
We lead him over to a tree with plenty of shade and between us ease him down onto the grass. He can't quite suppress the gasp that escapes his lips as he leans back against the rough bark of the tree.
I kneel down beside him and frown at his pale, filthy face. "Ribs?" I ask quietly and wonder silently if any of what's hidden under his jacket is my handiwork. Unfortunately, the memory of what I did to him is crystal clear in my mind.
He gives me a sideways look, but doesn't meet my eyes. "Yeah."
"Anything else?" It doesn't escape my notice that he's squinting like crazy in the brightness. When he doesn't answer, I lean forward and tip his chin up so I can see his eyes. He looks so dazed and out of it, my concern edges up a notch. "Daniel?"
"Headache," he admits finally, blinking. He takes off his glasses and rubs his eyes wearily. "Bad headache. And I’m just really tired, Jack."
He sounds tired. In fact, he sounds exhausted. "Okay, Daniel," I tell him, patting his knee. "We'll take ten here, and then get you back to the gate. We'll have you home before you know it."
"'kay."
Teal'c holds out a canteen in front of him. "Daniel Jackson, you should drink."
Daniel accepts the canteen with a murmured thanks and takes several swallows. Over his head, Teal'c meets my gaze, his dark eyes asking a question.
I get to my feet. "Look after him, Teal'c," I tell him.
He bows his head, and I see the gratitude in his eyes. "I shall, O'Neill."
Content that Daniel is in good hands, I leave them.
*****
Part 5 - Epilog
Journal Entry, Earth
Home. At last. I've barely spent enough time in this apartment between missions to unpack, let alone think of it as 'home' but right now it feels like a refuge.
I guess I'm just not used to having people...worry about me.
Sha're never worried about me. Well, there was a reason for that. It took me a while to catch on, but I finally figured out what was going on while I was on Abydos. Apparently it wasn't coincidence that someone -- Skaara or one of the other boys -- was usually within sight whenever I went exploring. I finally cornered Skaara one day and he admitted, very reluctantly, that there was a conspiracy among the boys to keep an eye on me whenever I wandered away from the settlement. Since to fail in their assignment was to face the wrath of Sha're, he assured me that I was always very, very safe. Since it kept Sha're from worrying, I never let on to her that I knew what was going on. And, to tell the truth, there had been a few times I was very grateful one of the boys was nearby!
It's different here on Earth. Every time we go through the Stargate there's danger, and the whole team has taken some lumps. On this last mission, though, to the Land of Light, I collected a few more lumps than usual. But it was the way I got those bumps and bruises that caused some consternation -- at least with Jack and Teal'c.
When we finally got back home, Jack dragged me off to the infirmary almost before my boots hit the ramp. I was too tired, and my brain was still too fuzzy to recognize the fact that something was definitely wrong where Jack was concerned. Usually he's full of wisecracks, even in the most dire or inappropriate situations, but other than that short conversation we had before coming home, he had avoided me, and now he was silent, barely responding with a grunt when I did try to ask him anything.
He turned me over to Doctor Fraiser and parked himself along the wall, watching as she eased me out of my shirt. It wasn't pretty -- it turns out I had two cracked ribs, severe bruising over one kidney, and what looked like a boot print on one hip. I think it was the boot print that did it; the Touched hadn't been wearing boots. Jack let out a stream of obscenities that prompted Doctor Fraiser to 'ask' him to leave. Strangely enough, he left without a word.
Doctor Fraiser admitted me overnight for observation, and I didn't even protest. On top of everything else, one of the Touched had given me a pretty good clout to the head, and it turned out I had a bit of a concussion. With my head splitting and every muscle in my body aching, all I wanted to do was sleep.
It wasn't to be.
I think I did doze fitfully for a little while, but every time I moved, some twinge would wake me up. The first time I opened my eyes was to see Teal'c standing by my bedside. It looked like he was standing guard. "Teal'c?"
He looked down at me, his face very solemn, and said, "Daniel Jackson, I have come to ask your forgiveness."
My first thought was that he was talking about Sha're again. We had talked about this once, and I had told him I didn't hold him responsible for what happened to her. I knew Teal'c had been no more than a slave to Apophis, so how could I really blame him for his actions? "Teal'c, if you're talking about Sha're --"
"I am not. I am referring to P3X797. I was unable to protect you from the Touched, and then I was forced to leave you behind where you were injured and became infected. I ask your forgiveness for my failure."
I'm not as oblivious as some people think; I really can see beyond the nearest artifact. It hasn't escaped my attention that when the team is on a mission there's usually someone 'assigned' to me. Sometimes it's Teal'c who never leaves my elbow, sometimes it's Sam. A lot of the times it's Jack. As soon as we step through that gate to a new planet I know I'll have a shadow. After this happened on the first few missions, I said something to Jack, actually asked him if he didn't trust me on my own. He just gave me this 'look' and told me that was how teams worked, the members looked out for one another. The fact that I didn't have the military skills he, Sam and Teal'c had might mean I got 'looked out' for a little closer, that's all.
I know Jack feels responsible for me, but he's the leader; he feels responsible for everyone. I think Teal'c feels he needs to look out for me for a completely different reason. I don't think I'll ever be able to convince him I don't blame him for Sha're's capture.
I tried to explain to him that what happened to me on P3X797 was in no way his fault. I was the one who stopped for Melosha (and I would do it again, even knowing what would happen; I couldn't just leave her lying there) and I was the one who got myself captured.
"That is of no relevance, Daniel Jackson. It was my duty to protect you. I failed in that duty."
I could tell this was going to get us nowhere, but in a sudden flash of insight, I found my answer: "No, Teal'c, you're wrong. It was our duty to protect each other. I'm the one who failed in that duty. Because of my actions, you were left on your own; I wasn't there to back you up. I ask your forgiveness."
He gave me a puzzled look, a frown playing at his features. He clearly hadn't considered that; to tell the truth, I hadn't either until that moment, but I realized what I said was true. I had a responsibility to Teal'c on that mission, and I'd let him down.
"You have my forgiveness, Daniel Jackson," he said finally, his voice quiet and solemn, "if I have yours."
Of course he had mine, not that he had anything to be forgiven for.
By the time he left, I was really exhausted, my ribs were aching and my head was pounding with sickening regularity. Doctor Fraiser had wanted to give me something for the pain, but I could still remember how fuzzy my brain was when I woke up after being cured. In fact, that was the most frightening thing about the 'Touched' illness. After I was captured, I could feel myself regressing, feel my brain slowing down. I realized as it was happening that I truly was losing my mind, my knowledge, who I was. And when I woke up, it still took a while for my brain to get back into gear where I was thinking clearly. I didn't want to take anything that made me feel like that again. Doctor Fraiser was reluctant, but agreed to Tylenol unless she thought the pain was keeping me from resting.
Realizing she would probably be checking on me, I closed my eyes and tried to at least look like I was asleep. I rested a little, but couldn't sleep. In desperation, I shifted around to try to find a comfortable position. My bruises had stiffened up and every little movement was torture, but it was the sudden stab of pain from my ribs that made me gasp.
"Daniel?"
"Jack?" The next thing I knew Jack's face was hovering over at me, frowning in concern.
"What's wrong? You want me to get Fraiser?"
He was already starting to move away before I could get my mouth in gear. "No, no, it's okay."
He came back, but he was still frowning. "You sure? You sounded like --"
"Just moved the wrong way," I hastily assured him. "I'm, ah, a little stiff."
Something flickered across his features. "Yeah, I'll bet," he muttered. He stood there, hands in pockets, staring down at me until I was about ready to ask him if he'd like to take a picture. Then he cleared his throat. "Look, Daniel, I just wanted to say I'm sorry. About --" he waved his hand over the bed -- "all this."
First Teal'c and now Jack. I should've known. "Jack," I said patiently, "you didn't do 'all this.' A lot of 'this' came from the Touched."
"I did enough," he said grimly. "And I would've done more if they hadn't pulled me off you."
"You were sick, Jack. It wasn't your fault." He looked anything but convinced, so I added pointedly, "Are you going to blame Sam for what she tried to do to you?"
He looked surprised. "Hell, no, it wasn't her --" He broke off and made a face as that sank in. "Okay," he conceded reluctantly, then added, "But she didn't beat the crap out of me. My fault or not, Daniel, I really am sorry."
I shrugged, then winced, forgetting for a moment any movement wasn't a good idea right now. I wasn't up to a debate, so I simply mumbled, "Apology accepted," and hoped that would put an end to it. "Now, Jack, would you do me a favor?"
"Sure. Anything."
I almost smiled at the quick response. "You want to find Doctor Fraiser and ask her to bring the biggest bottle of Tylenol she has?"
Doctor Fraiser released me the next day, with strict instructions to get plenty of rest and to let her know immediately if I wanted something stronger than Tylenol for the discomfort. I've always maintained I can rest just as well sitting at a desk as I can in bed, so I headed for my lab to work on some translations I'd started before our last mission.
I should have known it wouldn't be that easy.
Every time I turned around Teal'c was at my elbow. And if it wasn't Teal'c it was Jack. Even Sam got into the act. Just checking on me to make sure I didn't need anything. Just bringing me a cup of coffee so I didn't have to get up to get it myself. Just bringing lunch so I was sure to eat. Just making sure I was resting per doctors orders.
Just generally driving me crazy.
Doctors orders or no, I managed to give them the slip long enough to drive myself home. But now that I'm here... Everything still aches, my head hurts, and getting up from this sofa with these cracked ribs isn't as easy as I thought it would be. Maybe I should've stayed --
I wasn't going to answer the phone (too hard to get up), but when Jack-this-is-your-commanding-officer-and-you'd-damn-well-better-pick-up-O'Neill started burning up the answering machine I made my way across the room to the phone. He was a little annoyed with me (to put it mildly) for leaving base, and especially for doing it without telling him. It seems he and Sam and Teal'c are bringing over dinner and I'm going to either have a house guest until I'm okay on my own or I'll be heading back to the infirmary. My choice, of course.
The truth is, I'd forgotten I didn't have any food in, and moving around for the next couple of days is going to be a little difficult. I guess it's not too bad having people worry about me after all. And I think I'm learning what it means to be a member of a team.
D. Jackson
© November 24, 1999 The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa’uld and all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.