CHAPTER 3 - THOR'S HAMMER

Loyalties

Part 1 - Prologue

Journal Entry, Earth

We've got a briefing tomorrow at 1400 (Look at me: I'm even starting to tell time in militarese) called at my request so I can present a new theory regarding what race actually built the Stargate. I don't believe it was the Goa'uld, and tomorrow I'm going to stand up in front of General Hammond and the rest of SG-1 and tell them I think it may have been Thor's race.

I can just see the expression on Jack's face when I announce the Stargate system may have been built by the Vikings.

With my background, you'd think by now I'd be used to the blank stares and open skepticism that usually greets me whenever I propose some new conjecture. But I guess I'm not. At least General Hammond and the rest of SG-1 are pretty predictable. I can usually count on the general to be a bit bewildered, Jack to be bored (although I think the yawns are mostly for show, just to annoy me), Sam to be cautiously open-minded (she's come a long way since that first time on Abydos) and Teal'c to be... Teal'c.

Teal'c and I have been spending more time together recently. He's been a wonderful resource as I've worked on the more complex translations brought back by some of the teams; and in turn, I've been teaching him to read English. He's very smart, very focused, and an excellent pupil. We started out with some simple grammars, but his skills have improved so quickly I've been able to add more complex reading material. He's expressed an interest in the history and various cultures of Earth, so I've been concentrating on those two subjects in particular.

My initial plan was to spend two nights a week with him so we could go over what he's read. But he's very inquisitive and is so eager to learn that we've begun getting together an extra night each week to share a meal. That way we can talk about whatever he has questions about. I wish some of my students in college had had half his desire to learn.

*****

Part 2 - "It is the mark of what I used to be."

*Daniel Jackson*

I see it, but I don't believe it. There's the long, distinctive scar on her back that marks Kendra as a Goa'uld host, and yet...

Sam is shaking her head, refusing to accept it or let down her guard. "When a Goa'uld takes over a human host, it's permanent," she says flatly.

Kendra studies us both with a dignity that dares us not to accept her word. "Not here. Thor's Hammer drove it from my body and restored me to my true self."

Her true self? I want to be absolutely certain I understand what she's telling us. "It? You mean the parasite that was inside you?" Oh please...

"Is gone," she says quietly.

I feel as if all the air has suddenly been sucked from my lungs. "My god."

We have a chance. We have a way to save Sha're and Skaara. Kendra is standing here in front of us whole and well. The Goa'uld inside her was destroyed, but she is alive. Something of the host survives. Everything of the host survives!

It's incredible. With Thor's Hammer, I can save Sha're.

*****

Part 3 - "You're part of this family now."

*Jack O'Neill*

"Without the healing power of the Goa'uld this body will no longer regenerate. There is too much damage," Teal'c announces from where he's crouched over the creature.

So ding, dong, the Unas is dead. Talk about your fried lizards...

"Now I see why they call you friend."

For the first time I notice the stranger standing with Carter and Daniel and lift an eyebrow at the captain, inviting an introduction.

"This is Kendra. She brought us here."

Daniel is practically bursting to speak; I see the flush of excitement on his face, and I wonder if he knows what the Hammer represents. "She had firsthand knowledge. She was a Goa'uld." There's too much hope in his eyes for him not to know. He looks right at me, his wide-eyed gaze burning into me. "Do you know what this means?"

He knows. But now he has to understand. "It's the only way out of here, Daniel," I tell him levelly.

"But what this thing can do for Sha're and Skaara!"

He hears me, but he's not listening. Damn it, Daniel, listen to me. "Teal'c's here now." Come on, Daniel, make the connection. Don't force me to spell it out for you. You've got to figure this out for yourself.

Teal'c speaks up with that quiet dignity that is his alone, "And here I will remain." Turning to Daniel, he continues, "I was with those who took the one you love."

"No." I don't give him a chance to say anything else. "You're part of this family now. We're not leaving you behind."

I turn away and pick up the staff weapon. When I turn back, Daniel is staring at it like it's a live snake in my hands, his tongue flicking out nervously to lick his lips. He understands now, and he's frozen, horrified by the choice we're faced with. The choice he's faced with. This is the first hope we've had for rescuing Sha're and Skaara, for killing those snakes inside them and getting them back whole; and now we're faced with a decision that would destroy that hope. He has to know -- he has to understand -- we can't leave Teal'c here. We don't know where Sha're and Skaara are. Hell, it could be years before we find them again. And we are not leaving a member of the team behind.

I want Daniel to make the first move, I'm willing him to say something, but he doesn't. I could pull the trigger and blast the damn thing myself, but it has to be Daniel. I wonder if he'll understand that? Christ, I wonder if he'll do it.

"This thing won't work in here." I hold the staff weapon out for Daniel to take. "Try it from out there." I give him little choice but to accept it, but the look in his eyes very nearly makes me snatch it back again. I force myself to stand there, watching him, waiting, hoping he can go through with this. Daniel is the one who needs to make the decision. He's the one who has to define his loyalties.

Every eye in that room is on Daniel. I can see his hands are shaking a little, but he turns away and walks outside, turning to face the Hammer. He just stands there, staring at the one weapon we've found that could save his wife. "Come on," I urge under my breath. I wonder if he realizes how important this decision is, how it could affect everything the team is or could be in the future.

There's the distinctive sound of a staff weapon charging up, and he fires. Blue light envelopes the doorway like jolts of electricity, then everything is quiet.

He did it. He did understand. Now I only have to wonder if he can accept it.

*****

Part 4 - "This is to remember our world."

*Jack O'Neill*

For some reason I keep remembering Kendra when she gave Daniel that parting gift. I wonder if she knew just how appropriate it was to give Daniel Jackson a rock? As for remembering Cimmeria...well, I don't think he's likely to forget.

I glance at my watch and make a face at the time. We've got a briefing at 0700, but I just can't seem to sleep tonight. Okay, I admit it: I'm wondering if I have a problem with my team, and if so, what I do about it. So here I am aimlessly wandering the halls of SGC in the middle of the night. I look up and take note of where I am and realize my wandering hasn't been that aimless after all. I'm standing outside Daniel's office, and I'm not exactly surprised to see the muted light shining through the partially closed door.

He'd been pretty subdued throughout the debriefing when we got back from Cimmeria, giving Hammond the facts about what we'd discovered, but no lengthy discourses about mythology, no excited ramblings about theories yet to be explored. He'd just been proven right about Thor's race and we'd just made a major discovery regarding a potential ally -- thanks to Daniel -- but when Hammond congratulated him, his only acknowledgement was a nod of his head as he concentrated on the cup of untouched coffee in front of him. I know Daniel understood the significance of our discovery where the larger picture is concerned, but I also know he was dealing with some pretty heavy disappointment, maybe even resentment. Carter kept shooting little worried glances in his direction and even Hammond was looking a little concerned at this unfamiliar Daniel Jackson. Teal'c just sat there silently, his eyes straight ahead, speaking only when Hammond asked him a direct question.

I walked out of that meeting wondering if I still had an intact team.

I stand outside Daniel's door and frown at that spill of light. Daniel disappeared right after the debriefing, and I thought he might have come here -- it wouldn't be the first time he buried himself in his work when the memories got too painful. I almost came after him, but then decided to give him some space to work through it himself. But now here I am and here he is, so...

With a perfunctory knock, I open the door all the way and poke my head in, taking in the scene at a glance: the lights are all off except for the glow of his computer monitor and the very bright desk light that illuminates his desk. The top of the desk is covered with open books, with an uncapped Tylenol bottle perched preciously near the edge. The coffee pot is empty, and there's a plate of barely touched cafeteria food balanced on a pile of books indicating that Carter has been by in an effort to make sure he doesn’t forget to eat. In the midst of all this Daniel is hunched over the desk, squinting through a powerful magnifier at a series of photos. I recognize them as the pictures of hieroglyphs brought back by SG-9 from one of the planets they visited. The planet had long been deserted, but there were ruins there with ancient writing covering the walls and Daniel had been spending every spare minute working on the translations.

He glances up when I open the door, then quickly returns his attention to the photos. But not before I see the tiredness in his eyes that tells me he's been at this for hours without a break. I should've come by sooner.

"Daniel." I walk in and close the door behind me, ignoring the fact I haven't been invited.

He nods, still frowning at one particular photo. "Jack." He sounds preoccupied, but then Daniel usually sounds preoccupied, so I take a seat in the chair opposite his desk.

"How's it going?"

"What?" He raises his head and blinks. "Oh. The translation?" He slides his glasses up and rubs his eyes. "Slow. It's hard to distinguish some of the finer glyphs with just photographs." He looks at me, face lighting up hopefully. "If I could just go there..."

We've been through this before. I shake my head and his face falls. "It's a dead planet, Daniel. We've got more important places to go." I tap my watch meaningfully. "In fact, we have a debriefing at 0700, remember?"

He waves that aside. "There's plenty of time."

In the time we've worked together, I've become accustomed to the fact that once Daniel gets involved in his work, days can go by without him being aware of it. "Daniel, it's nearly one," I inform him.

He frowns a little. "In the morning?"

When I just look at him, his eyes widen suddenly in dismay. "Oh no. Jack, tell me this isn't Wednesday."

I could tell him that with a clear conscience since it is now technically Thursday, but I don't think that's what he means. "It was when you left the debriefing."

He drops his head into his hands with a little moan. "Oh hell."

"What's the matter? Forget something?" Besides eating and sleeping, that is?

He raises his head and I'm a little startled to see real consternation in his eyes, along with a healthy dose of guilt. "Yeah," he says quietly, "I forgot something."

I cock my head and raise my eyebrows, inviting him to continue.

He takes a deep breath and says, "You know I've been teaching Teal'c to read?"

I nod. I'd thought it was a great idea. Teal'c wanted to learn, and as much as I liked to tease Daniel with ostentatious yawns during his presentations, even I could see the guy was a natural teacher. Besides, as team leader, I saw it as a good way for the two of them to get comfortable around each other. Daniel and Carter had bonded almost immediately, each one recognizing a scientific soul-mate in the other. But I had been a little worried about Teal'c and Daniel, what with Teal'c's role in Sha're's abduction.

"We have a standing appointment, unless we're off-world, to get together three nights a week." He pauses, then adds, "Monday, Wednesday and Friday."

And up until an hour ago, it was Wednesday. And Daniel hadn't left his office.

"I forgot, Jack," he says earnestly. "I just never thought about it being Wednesday. I was so caught up in --" He waves at the photos scattered across his desk -- "all this." He sighs heavily. "But Teal'c is going to think..."

I nod. "Yes," I agree, "he is."

Daniel's eyes lock with mine and I see uncertainty there. "Jack, I would never..."

"I know you wouldn't," I say easily. If there was one thing I'd learned about Daniel Jackson early on it was that the man was almost painfully honest. After what happened on Cimmeria, if he had a problem with spending personal time with Teal'c, he would have told Teal'c. Then he would have immediately arranged for another teacher because next to honesty, Daniel values knowledge. "And Teal'c will know, too," I add pointedly, "after you tell him."

It's like flipping on a switch. He jumps to his feet and rounds the desk without another word. He's almost to the door before he stops and turns around, as if suddenly remembering I'm there. "Umm, Jack, did you want something?"

I fix him with my best C.O. look. "Just to remind you about the briefing at 0700. And you know the rules, Danny boy -- no sleep, no mission."

I can see the 'Danny-boy' remark doesn't go over well, but he nods. "As soon as I talk to Teal'c." And then he's gone.

I sit there a while longer, smiling to myself, then get up and leave. I think I can get some sleep now; there's no problem with my team.

*****

Part 5 - Epilog

Journal Entry, Earth

Well, I was right. Thor's race did use the Stargate, were perhaps even the builders of the Stargate system, and they have peopled at least one planet that we know of, Cimmeria.

They had left a weapon on that planet to keep Cimmeria free of the Goa'uld. It could kill the Goa'uld and restore the host. It was a weapon that could have been used to save Sha're and Skaara.

We destroyed the weapon -- I destroyed the weapon -- in order to free Teal'c. He had been trapped in an underground labyrinth and was unable to leave without the Hammer killing the Goa'uld larvae that keeps him alive. Jack handed me the staff weapon and I'm the one who fired it. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, knowing I was destroying something that could bring my Sha're back to me whole. But the alternative was to leave Teal'c trapped there, and I couldn't do that. At the time I resented the fact that Jack asked me to do it when he knows that Sha're... but, of course, that's why he put it into my hands. And he was right.

It took a lot for me to fire that staff weapon and destroy the Hammer. I've come to realize it took a lot for Jack to ask me to do it, too.

But it took me a while to come around to that way of thinking, and after we got back and the debriefing was over, I escaped to my office. To be honest, I just wanted to get away from everyone for a while. Sam kept giving me these little worried looks during the debriefing, Jack wore this little frown whenever he looked at me, and Teal'c... well, Teal'c and I weren't exactly making eye contact.

So I took the easy way out and buried myself in my work. I remember Sam stopping by at one point with lunch, but other than that I was uninterrupted. I did such a good job of losing myself that it took Jack popping in after midnight to make me realize I'd worked a straight twelve hours and had forgotten all about my scheduled lesson with Teal'c that evening.

I realized immediately he would have drawn his own conclusions as to why I hadn't shown up. It was late, but I knew I had to see him; I owed him an explanation and certainly an apology. I don't think he sleeps really, just meditates, so I was pretty sure I'd find him awake.

As I hoped, he was in his quarters, surrounded by dozens of lit candles, their glow creating a gentle, peaceful atmosphere. When he invited me in, I sank down onto the floor, emulating his pose, and found myself relaxing almost immediately in the restful surroundings.

"Are you well, Daniel Jackson?"

Teal'c's quiet question brought me abruptly out of my thoughts, and I realized I'd been sitting there for some time in silence. Clearing my throat, I said, "Teal'c, I have come to apologize."

One eyebrow lifted as he studied me. "Apologize for what, Daniel Jackson?"

Just remembering how I'd thoughtlessly forgotten our lesson that evening made me flush. "We had an arrangement to meet this evening for your lesson, and I forgot. I'm very sorry."

Trained as a Jaffa warrior, Teal'c is very good at not allowing his emotions show, but I saw something flicker across his features. "I thought perhaps you no longer wished to continue our lessons."

That was exactly what I'd been afraid of. I shook my head, "No, Teal'c. If I didn't want to continue our lessons, I would have told you. I wouldn't have just not shown up. I was working on some translations, and I lost all track of time."

He nodded, as if accepting that, his eyes on my face. "And perhaps you had other things occupying your mind."

I looked down and frowned at my intertwined fingers. I couldn't deny that.

"If you no longer wish to share your time and knowledge with me, Daniel Jackson, I will understand." Before I could say anything, he looked away and continued in that same, quiet voice, "It must have been very...difficult for you to destroy the means to free your wife in order to save the one who --"

"No! Please, Teal'c, don't." My tone was a little sharper than I intended, and he stopped, turning his eyes toward me. I took a deep breath and continued in a calmer voice, "I don't hold you responsible for what happened to Sha're. And as for what happened on Cimmeria..." Suddenly I found I could meet his eyes and speak with completely honesty. "I made a choice, and it was the right choice." I leaned forward, willing him to listen to me. "We proved there's a race out there more advanced than we are who consider the Goa'uld an enemy. They had one weapon, chances are they have others. We just need to find them."

It was infinitesimal, but I think I saw Teal'c's shoulders straighten even more. "We will find them, Daniel Jackson," he said firmly, "and we will find the means to rescue your wife."

Sitting in Teal'c's room, surrounded by the flickering lights of those candles and in the presence of the secure strength of the man I was learning to call friend, I found I believed him.

As it turned out, Teal'c and I got most of our lesson in that night and I managed to get almost a full hour's sleep. Which meant I could look Jack in the eye at 7 that morning and tell him I had gotten some sleep. I just didn't tell him how much.

D. Jackson

[Chapter 4:Torment of Tantalus]

© December 4, 1999 The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa’uld and all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.