CHAPTER 4 - TORMENT OF TANTALUS
Passions
Part 1 -Prologue
Journal Entry, Earth
The most incredible thing has come to light after 50 years. The Stargate was actually opened in 1945 and someone went through. The Pentagon recently declassified all their records on the Stargate Project and I spent two days going through all the boxes and the film. The video clearly shows the Gate opening up and someone walking through.
But there were no more records after that, no notations, no conclusions. It was like the Project was just shut down without explanation. What happened to the man who went through the Gate? Why did they shut down the Project? Why did it take almost fifty years to start it again?
There's one person who might know the answer to my questions: Catherine Langford. I feel very badly that I haven't been to see her since I came back to Earth, but I guess I was just trying to avoid what will probably turn out to be an awkward reunion. As far as she knows, the Stargate only goes to Abydos; she doesn't know there could be millions of destinations out there. I don't want to lie to her if she starts asking questions, but Jack has reminded me that everything is classified and since she's no longer on the Project I'm not supposed to tell her anything. Which, of course, is totally ridiculous since she was running the entire Project when I joined it.
I'm going to see her tomorrow, but I think it might be best if I drop in unannounced. If she starts asking questions, I'll just have to make a decision then how much I tell her.
I guess it's a good thing I can't be court-martialed.
D. Jackson
*****
Part 2 - "Meaning of life stuff"
*Daniel Jackson*
Okay, just filming them won't work, no way to capture the three-dimensional nature of the symbols. I'm going to have to get them all down on paper, take measurements... this is going to take time... if that storm just holds off...
As I'm formulating all the steps I'm going to have to take, Jack, Sam, Teal'c and Catherine all come down the stairs and stand there, just looking at me. "What's up, guys?" I ask absently, not really paying attention. I've got my mind half on how I'm going to record the symbols and half on the argument I know I'm going to have with Jack. He's not going to like it, but I'm not leaving until I have this language charted, storm or no storm.
It's Jack who speaks, his voice a little odd. "Step away from the pedestal, Daniel."
I look at the pedestal in question, wondering what threat Jack thinks he sees. "What? Why?"
"The Dial Home Device just fell through the floor into the ocean," Sam announces grimly.
That's bad. That's very bad. But it doesn't explain why they're all down here looking like... "So, what're we going to do?" I asked warily.
Sam nods toward the pedestal. "That thing may have a power source in it that we can use to get the gate working."
I stare at her, stunned. I can't believe that Sam would ever consider... "Ah...no," I say emphatically. "You don't understand. This book may contain knowledge of the universe. I mean, this is meaning of life stuff! I have to get more of it down on paper before we leave. There has to be something more you can use." They're all looking at me like I've lost my mind. I'm looking at them like they've lost their minds. I wave at Teal'c staff weapon, my tone getting desperate, "What about using Teal'c's staff?"
Sam shakes her head. "It isn't powerful enough."
Then, damn it, Sam, come up with something else!
Now even Catherine is pushing. "Daniel, please. There's not much time. We have to get inside that thing."
There has got to be another --
"This whole place could join the DHD at the bottom of the ocean any minute," Jack says tersely. "So...please."
We stare at one another. I know that look in Jack's eyes, the set of his jaw. In one last desperate appeal, I deliberately look at each of them, but there's the same implacable expression on everyone's face.
Feeling a wave of bitter disappointment and resentment wash through me, I stride away from the pedestal, thumbing at it over my shoulder. "Great. Shoot it."
I hear Teal'c's weapon building power and I turn my head; I can't watch this. After the blast I look back, prepared for the worst. But the pedestal is still standing, undamaged.
A part of me recognizes we are in deep shit here without a DHD, but another part has faith in Sam that she'll find a way to get us home. And the biggest part of me is selfishly rejoicing that the book is unharmed, that I still have a chance to record this true universal language.
The translation of this language could be the single most important thing I ever do in my life.
*****
Part 3 -"I'm willing to take that risk."
"I'm not."
*Jack O'Neill*
Ol' Ben knew his stuff. Our jerry-rigged lightning rod works and the strikes sends a flash through the cable to the Gate.
As the chevrons light up, Carter yells to Teal'c, "Go, Teal'c, start dialing! We may only have seconds once the Gate is opened."
Teal'c turns to dial and I jump up and sprint for the room where Daniel and Ernest are still presumably playing with their colored lights. As I run down the stairs I can hear Daniel.
"What you did was courageous."
"What I did was stupid," Ernest counters flatly.
"Come on, boys. We gotta go. Now!" I order, reaching the bottom.
Daniel, his entire attention on the pedestal in front of him, doesn't look around. "I'm staying," he announces.
I shouldn't be surprised -- after all, it's not like I don't know the type of single-mindedness he's capable of -- but that declaration literally makes me stop in my tracks. "What?"
He halfway looks over his shoulder at me, but won't turn around to face me. "Look, I will be fine down here."
I wave at Ernest to get going, not taking my eyes off Daniel, "Go on, go." Then, to Daniel, "Daniel, we can come back."
"No. What if the castle crumbles around the Gate?" He waves at those floating colored lights above his head. "I mean, this... this could all be lost."
I can't believe what I'm hearing. It hasn't occurred to him that if the castle crumbles, he could be lost along with his precious book?
"If I stay, I could unbury the Gate again --"
"What if the Gate falls into the ocean?" I stride towards him, mentally gauging my chances of getting us both out of here alive if I knock him unconscious and carry him.
"I'm willing to take that risk."
That's it. Conversation over. "I'm not. Let's go!" In two steps I'm behind him and grab a fistful of his jacket, forcibly yanking him away from the pedestal and pulling him toward the stairs. If this is the way it has to be to keep him alive...
"Jack!" He plants his feet and turns to face me, for the first time looking me in the eyes. I'm not reassured by what I see in his. "Please," he says. He glances at my hand still gripping his shoulder, then back at me, and in that one moment it's like we're communicating on a level beyond words. I suddenly realize I'm not going to win this one; if Daniel chooses to stay, there's not a damn thing I can do about it. Except stay with him, because there's no way in hell I'm leaving him here alone. We either leave together, or we stay together.
Slowly, I release my grip, release him to make his choice. I've already made mine.
I can only watch as he walks back to the pedestal, then stops, raising his head to gaze at those floating symbols that he's willing to die for. There's a look of intense anguish on his face, then suddenly he bends down, snatches up Ernest's book, and runs back toward me. Relieved, I clap him on the back to hurry him on as we take the stairs. I only hope we haven't let it go too long.
As we reach the top of the steps, we both see a huge chunk of ceiling ready to crash down and we dive through the doorway, covering our heads as we hit the floor. As soon as it's apparent we're still alive, I grab Daniel, pull him up and push him on. Carter's still standing by the Gate and I yell for her to go. She only hesitates an instant and then, good soldier that she is, obeys.
Now there's just Daniel to get out of here alive.
A massive stone beam falls as we run up the steps, and more debris crashes around us, but by some miracle neither one of us is crushed. It occurs to me that with the way this mission has been screwed up from the beginning, we don't deserve this kind of good luck.
I can see the wormhole is destabilizing and we both make a desperate dive into the event horizon.
The next thing I know we're hitting the ramp at SCG with enough force to leave me breathless. Daniel, looking a little stunned himself, blinks at me as Carter rushes over to help him to his feet. "Close one," he mumbles, in what is a massive understatement, even for him.
I only have enough breath left to counter, "Ya think?"
*****
Part 4 - "And here's the bright side -- you're alive."
*Jack O'Neill*
It's been a long day, and those bruises I collected from dodging falling ceilings are starting to catch up with me. I scrawl my signature on the report for P3X972 (but it'll always be 'Ernest's Planet' to us) and drop it into my Out tray. And there's another mission put to bed, thankfully with a happy ending.
Or, at least, everyone got back alive, I amended, remembering the look on Daniel's face when that last chevron failed to engage and we knew the Gate on P3X972 was gone. He hadn't stuck around long after that, just long enough to politely see Catherine and Ernest on their way, and then he disappeared. Probably back to his office to lick his wounds.
This was getting to be a habit with him, and one that was starting to concern me a bit. I admit, he's had a few reasons to retreat (hell, it was only a couple of weeks ago that we knocked out Thor's Hammer in order to save Teal'c), but I was hoping he'd be getting a little more comfortable being a part of a team, and turn to us -- any one of us -- when things get bad, instead of shutting himself away. I admit, where the choice is between Daniel's life or 'meaning of life stuff' there is no decision as far as I'm concerned; but that book on Ernest's Planet was obviously important to him, and I'd be more than happy to go out and get drunk with him if it makes him feel any better, if he'd ask. But he never does.
I'm still sitting there, lost in my thoughts, when there's a tentative knock on my door, and it swings open wide enough for Daniel to poke his head in. "Oh, good, you're still here."
"Just wrapping up." I wave him in, and he steps inside a little hesitantly. "Something I can help you with?"
Standing just inside the door, he wraps his arms around his chest and shifts from one foot to the other. "Um, I was just wondering if you, ah, had any plans for tonight?"
He's looking at a spot over my left shoulder as he's speaking, and it occurs to me that he's trying to take that first step I've been hoping for, but he's not sure how it will be received.
"Just eating and sleeping," I say easily, suppressing my grin.
"Ah. Well, I thought you might... or rather, I thought we could all get together at my place tonight. Sam and Teal'c are coming, and we could pick up some Chinese, or pizza, or whatever." He shrugs apologetically. "I really don't have any food in, but..."
"Sure," I reply promptly, getting to my feet and putting an end to his rambling invitation. "Sounds great." The whole team? Danny-boy, you're learning.
"Oh?" He looks at me then, eyes widening a little. In surprise? "Well, great." Then he actually smiles. "Great," he repeats, and this time he sounds like he means it. "They're waiting for us."
I cross the office and flip off the lights. "Then let's not keep them waiting." Clapping Daniel on the shoulder I usher him out into the hallway.
As we head toward the elevators, I can't resist teasing him a little. "So, we're doing pizza or Chinese? That takes care of the food. What's for entertainment?"
Expecting some more stuttering, I'm the one who's left with my mouth hanging open when Daniel replies, "Well, Sam's been wanting to see videos of some of the digs I've been on, so I thought..."
I let him precede me into the elevator so he doesn't see the look on my face. Just wonderful. We're going to spend the evening watching Daniel play with rocks. On tape. Oh well, O'Neill, I remind myself as I punch the button for topside. You're the one who's been wanting Daniel to spend more time with the team. Next time, be careful what you wish for.
*****
Part 5 - Epilog
Journal Entry, Earth
It's late, and I admit I'm tired, but I'm not ready to go to sleep yet.
I asked the team over for dinner tonight. 'Dinner' was actually delivered pizza and beer (the beer was courtesy of Jack), but we all sat down together in front of the TV to eat, so I guess that qualifies as a 'sit down dinner'.
I'd been so busy feeling sorry for myself after getting back from Ernest's Planet that I hadn't stopped to realize how lucky we all were to get off that planet alive. It just sort of hit me while I was sitting in my office, alone, that I hadn't been the only one on that planet; Sam, Teal'c, Catherine, Ernest, and Jack could have all lost their lives there, and I was brooding over the fact that I'd lost the chance to translate a language.
Yes, it was a true universal language, and yes, the translation may have been the most important thing I'd ever do in my life. But it wasn't as important as the lives of my friends.
Thinking back on it, it's a wonder Jack didn't just knock me out and carry me to the Gate. In fact, for a moment, I thought he was going to do just that. But when he let go of me, allowing me to return to the pedestal, I saw something in his eyes: if I stayed, he was going to stay with me. I don't know how I knew, I just did. That's what made me decide to leave. I was willing to risk my own life (however foolish that decision was) but I wasn't willing to risk his.
Anyhow, tonight it just suddenly seemed very important to be with my friends, to sort of reaffirm life, to reassure myself that everyone was alive.
Jack was at the top of his game tonight; he seemed very relaxed and content. Sam joined me in the kitchen while I was making salad, and we talked a bit about my disappointment regarding the language; she understands what it meant to me. And I admit, I felt a little better after talking to her. Teal'c was very interested in an ancient Egyptian board game that I have, the Jackal and the Hound, and I promised to teach him to play.
But I guess the highlight of the evening came when I got out the video of one of my digs in Egypt. Sam had said she wanted to see parts of the pyramids that the public doesn't get to see, so I showed them footage taken on one of my visits to Giza when I was working with the University of Pennsylvania doing research.
I'll never forget the expression on Jack's face when he saw someone scrambling up the side of the Great Pyramid. My assistant, John Blessing, had begun taking the shots from the ground.
Jack gestured at the TV screen with his beer. "Who in the hell is that?" he asked, pointing at the figure halfway up the side of the pyramid.
"Oh, him?" I took a sip of my beer, keeping an eye on Jack. "That's me."
His reaction was everything I could have hoped for. After he finished choking on his beer, he gave me a glare. "You? No way, Jackson. That thing must be --"
"Er...Colonel..." Sam interrupted him with a grin and nodded toward the screen.
John had stopped filming from the ground and had joined me in the climb. In the pictures on the screen now you could quite clearly see my face and how far up I was.
"Holy buckets," Jack muttered, and took another drink.
Sam was staring at the screen, fascinated. "Daniel, how far up are you?"
I gazed at the landscape and made an educated guess. "Right there I think it's about forty stories."
"Forty --" Jack bit off what he was about to say and just shook his head.
"Up until the Eiffel Tower was built, this was actually the tallest structure on Earth," I told them. When Teal'c looked puzzled, I promised to show him a picture of the Tower.
"And the Egyptian government just let you climb their pyramid?" Jack asked skeptically.
"It's illegal now," I told him, "but we had special permission." I smiled as I watched my younger self scramble around the rocks so far above the desert. I'm usually scared spitless when it comes to heights...but somehow it hadn't mattered when I was standing there on the Great Pyramid. I'd only ever climbed it once, but it was an experience I'd never forgotten.
The rest of the video fulfilled all Sam's wishes to see sights the tourist doesn't get to see as we went deep inside the pyramids, dodging bats, climbing questionable rope ladders, sliding down steep inclines without benefit of handrails, crawling through tunnels filled with bat droppings and insects. Jack was remarkably quiet through it all, but I could feel him occasionally giving me sideways looks as the film progressed. I imagine he thought I'd spent all my time as an archaeologist digging in the dirt.
When the video ended and I began to rewind it, Jack announced dryly to the room at large, "And that, kids, is how Danny Jackson -- pyramid monkey -- spent his summer vacation."
It was a good evening. And I have good friends. I know that; I just have to make sure I remember it.
D. Jackson
© December 15, 1999 The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa’uld and all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.