CHAPTER 7 - THE SERPENT'S LAIR

Part 1 - Prologue

Journal Entry, Earth

We're going. The whole team has agreed to go to the coordinates I brought back from the alternate reality. It's our only chance to save Earth from the Goa'uld invasion that I know is coming.

I don't have time to write much, and there really isn't a lot to say anyway.

If we succeed and we all return safely, this will just be another journal entry. (And hopefully if we save Earth, the military won't see fit to court-martial Jack and Sam, deport Teal'c back to Chulak and throw me off the Project for disobeying a Presidential order).

If we fail, Earth will be gone and this entry is meaningless.

But if we succeed, and I don't make it back, I want to leave this behind for Jack and Sam and Teal'c. I just want to say thank you. Thank you for believing me and for believing in me. That meant more to me than I can possibly say.

It was an honor serving with you.

D. Jackson

*****

Part 2 - "I'll stay and watch your back."

*Jack O'Neill*

"I...die...free!"

Okay, that's Bra'tac's cue. "Let's go!" I order. "Daniel, watch our backs." It's going to be crowded enough in there with staff weapon and zat gun fire everywhere and hard enough for those of us experienced in firefights to stay alive. I don't want to throw Daniel into that mix if I can help it. If we can just get in and out, he won't be out here on his own for long. This whole set-up sucks, but we don't have any choices left.

The firefight is just what I expect, but we do get the upper hand when Teal'c manages to grab Klorel. That's when I hear the gunfire from outside and Daniel's desperate voice calling my name. He's in trouble. Oh shit. Oh shit oh shit oh shit. Then I hear the blast of a staff weapon and Daniel's sudden cry.

We temporarily have the upper hand with Klorel hostage, and I run for the hallway as fast as I can, hearing a brief burst of gunfire. Daniel. He's alive. Thank God. I --

Time stops, and I freeze as I make the turn into the hallway and see him sprawled there, one side of his chest bleeding and smoking, the smell of charred meat hanging in the air...

"Daniel...dammit!" I drop down and quickly check the hallway to make sure there are no more snakeheads; some part of my mind processes the fact that Daniel has taken out three of them on his own. Turning to my friend, I rip his jacket open; I don't know what I'm hoping for, a miracle maybe, but I see immediately how bad it is. Oh Christ...it was a direct hit.

"I'm dead anyway." His voice is edged with raw pain, but unexpectedly strong. "Just get out of here."

A flash of anger momentarily replaces the searing combination of fear and pain that is making it hard for me to breathe. I can feel my hands shake as I grab hold of him. "I'm not leaving you here, Daniel!" I ground out. Not. An. Option.

But he's having none of it. He all but pulls out of my grasp, falling back against the wall behind him. "Get out of here! You're just gonna blow up with the other ship anyway. What difference does it make? Go! Just go!" For the first time, his eyes lock with mine and I see the terrible knowledge there, along with the pain and fast-approaching shock. He's dying. And there's no way in hell he's going to allow me to further risk the team by trying to get a dying man off this ship. That silent message delivered, his gaze slides away from mine and I see his eyes begin to lose focus as his breathing grows more ragged. "I'll... stay and watch your back."

Oh, Danny... He's right, damn him. He's right, and he's thinking straighter than I am. All I can see is my friend... the man who has become such an important, integral part of my life... slumped against a wall, dying. And there's not a goddamn thing I can do to save him.

There are things I should say... things I want to say, but no time for any of them. Because we've got a planet to save, and Daniel has just released me from the vow I make at the beginning of every mission: that I will not leave a member of my team behind -- that I will never again leave him behind. And he has forgiven me for what we both know I have to do. I'll stay and watch your back.

He will, too. Until his last breath.

Reaching out, I lay a hand against the side of his face, trying to communicate in that touch everything I wish I could say. His eyes lock briefly with mine and in their depths I see understanding, forgiveness and... unbelievably, gratitude.

Oh, god. It takes every ounce of strength I possess to leave him there.

Nothing has changed in the chamber; Teal'c is still holding Klorel and Bra'tac is readying the rings for transport. Carter looks at me, then I see her eyes flick to the doorway, as she frowns, looking for Daniel.

"He's...staying behind."

Carter's eyes snap back to me, but I can't look at her or anyone else. As Bra'tac calls to us, we all step into place for the rings to transport us to the other ship. Carter's staring at the door, still looking for Daniel.

Later, Carter. Later, I'll tell you and Teal'c what happened, how he gave his life watching our backs. Later. Right now we have a planet to save. Daniel got us here, almost died bringing the coordinates back to Earth, is dying right now...

The rings descend, there's a flash of light, and we leave Klorel's ship -- and Daniel -- behind.

*****

Part 3 - "We saved it, sir."

"Yes, we did."

*Samantha Carter*

Space is so...quiet. After the firefights and explosions on the Goa'uld ships, this silence is almost unnerving.

I stare out of one of the windows on Endeavor as we approach Earth and realize I should be feeling excitement, or relief, or any number of other emotions. We saved Earth, we're on our way home, we're alive...

But one of us isn't going home, and one of us isn't alive. Daniel. I rest my forehead against the window, feeling my eyes beginning to burn again. Oh, Daniel, we left you behind...again. I keep remembering the look on the colonel's face when he came back without Daniel, the sound of his voice when he told us Daniel was staying behind. My God, what had happened? He still hasn't told us, and neither Teal'c or I have asked yet.

Once we were transferred here from our failing gliders the colonel moved off by himself, and is still sitting apart from everyone, staring out a window. He hasn't said anything to anyone.

I look up at Teal'c across from me, and he meets my gaze. I see the same sorrow in his eyes that I feel in my heart. After all we've been through together, after all the times we've cheated death -- after all the times Daniel has cheated death -- I can't believe we're going home without him. I keep expecting him to drop into the seat beside me and resume a conversation we may have started days ago, confident that I'll know exactly what he's talking about and that we'll naturally pick up where we left off. We were always able to do that, from the very beginning. I joked with him once that talking to him was like talking to myself!

I feel a sob catch in my throat, and I quickly look down, taking several deep breaths. I need to know what happened. Damn it, Daniel was my friend too, and it wasn't just the colonel who left him behind... we all did. I feel a hand on my arm and look up to find Teal'c's solemn gaze on me.

"Are you well, Captain Carter?" he asks quietly.

Pressing my lips tightly together, I shake my head. "No. No, I'm not. I have to know what happened, Teal'c. I have to know about Daniel."

He nods slowly. "As do I."

As one, we both turn our heads to look at the colonel, only to find him watching us. There's a...starkness to his face that sends a shiver through my body, but he gives a barely perceptible nod, and I realize this is it. Teal'c and I both stand, then move to join him. Only when we are both seated does he begin to speak.

***

He was alive. Oh my god, Daniel was alive when we left him.

I don't realize I've spoken out loud until the colonel says quietly, "He was dying, Captain. He knew it. It was his choice to stay behind, to give us the chance to do what we had to do to try to save Earth."

"Yes, sir." The words come out brokenly, but I nod sharply. From the colonel's description of Daniel's wounds, of course he was dying, but the idea of leaving him behind, alone, to die like that...

I make the mistake of looking at the colonel's face and quickly avert my eyes from what I see there. It must've killed him, leaving Daniel like that. I hadn't seen Daniel, wounded, in pain; the colonel had. What must have passed between them in those final moments? I squeeze my eyes shut and take a deep, steadying breath, thanking God I wasn't the one who had to make that decision, that I wasn't the one who had to walk away and leave Daniel behind.

Teal'c speaks up quietly, "Daniel Jackson was a man of great courage and honor."

"Yes, he was, Teal'c," the colonel agrees, his voice a little hoarse. I see his knuckles turn white suddenly as he grips the armrests of his seat and am not surprised when I hear the soft, "Dismissed, Captain. Teal'c."

We both quickly take our leave, Teal'c to seek out Master Bra'tac and me to look for the darkest corner I can find. I can already feel the tears sliding down my face.

*****

*Jack O'Neill*

Yes, Captain, he was alive when I left him.

The fact that I had no choice didn't make it any easier. He died alone and in pain, and I'll carry that knowledge with me for the rest of my life.

I drop my head back against the seat and close my eyes, trying to stop seeing Daniel as I saw him last. That scene will visit me often enough in my nightmares. Instead a picture flashes through my mind, of Daniel when he was standing up to Senator Kinsey, eyes blazing with passion and conviction, putting himself out there, once again, for what he believed in. We didn't back him up then. I hadn't wanted him to say anything at all about his 'alternate reality' trip. Who would believe him?

We should have. In the end, we did, but it was a close thing. "You were right, Daniel," I murmur to myself, allowing myself a small, sad smile of satisfaction on behalf of my friend. "You were right." Then I remember that Daniel will never know we'd succeeded in saving Earth and that we'd survived. If he hadn't died of his wounds beforehand, he died when Klorel's ship exploded, and he never knew.

I turn my head and stare out the window into the emptiness of space. There seems to be a lot of emptiness around me now. Daniel had only been in my life for two years, but it seemed far longer. Even for the year he was on Abydos, he was 'in my life'. Whenever I looked at the night sky through my telescope I'd wonder if he was okay up there, if he was happy, hoping he hadn't fallen off one of those smelly mastadges and broken his neck. And after he came back to Earth... well, there weren't many parts of my life he didn't touch in some manner. I smile ruefully. Whether I wanted him to or not. Daniel had a simple way of dealing with boundaries: he ignored them. It had taken me a while to understand that, with Daniel, I no longer had any.

When it comes to defining Daniel's role in my life, I realize suddenly he wasn't an easy man to categorize. But then, I doubt that Daniel Jackson had ever been a man given to easy categorization. He was one of a kind: scientist, linguist, genius, visionary, teacher, peaceful explorer, a soldier when he had to be, hero, member of SG-1. But most important to me, he was my friend; and I was damned proud to be his.

*****

Part 4 - "SG-1, there's someone who'd like to see you again."

*Jack O'Neill*

I watch as an airman leads Bra'tac away. Now that we're back on base I can feel my mind slipping into 'numb' mode again. Right now, it's the only place I want to be. Numb and alone. I have a feeling there's a party in the air for the 'returning heroes', but I can't deal with a party right now. From the looks of them, neither can Carter and Teal'c. The general and the rest of the SGC are going to have to party without us.

It takes me a moment to realize the general has stepped in front of us, and is smiling broadly.

"SG-1, there's someone who'd like to see you again."

Again? It's like someone suddenly snapping their fingers in front of my face to wake me up. There's a ripple in the crowd of SGC personnel and Hammond steps aside to present a clear view. I see a head bobbing through the throng and then...

Oh my god...

"Daniel!"

That's Carter. But as Daniel moves toward us, it's me he's looking at, his gaze never leaving my face. He stops in front of me and our eyes lock. For a moment, we're back in that hallway on Klorel's ship. It's so real I can almost see the smoke rising from his charred chest, can see the look in his eyes... I'll stay and watch your back.

Then abruptly that nightmare vision is gone and I'm staring at Daniel, alive, in the Gate Room. He's standing in front of me with that look of uncertainty he wears when he's not quite sure of his reception. Me, I'm smiling so hard my face actually hurts. Stepping forward, I pull him into the biggest hug I can manage. He feels reassuringly solid and alive.

There's a brief hesitation, then I feel his arms around me, tight enough to squeeze the breath out of my lungs. Okay, I guess we both need this. I laugh softly, just because now I can, feeling a little giddy with the sudden rush of relief that engulfs me. "Space monkey." Maybe someday I'll explain that to him; but maybe not. It'll give him something to wonder about for a change.

I pull back, not losing contact with him, and see the biggest smile I've ever seen on his face. "Yeah!" I agree, and give his shoulders another squeeze and ruffle his hair once again for good measure before stepping back to let Carter have her turn.

No, not such a bad day after all.

*****

Part 4 - Epilog

Journal Entry, Earth

It was an honor serving with you.

It seems like a lifetime ago when I wrote those words, but it was only three days. That doesn't seem possible when I think about everything that happened during that short period of time. No...I don't want to think about it. It's all in the mission report, and that's not a report I ever plan to read again.

It's over now, I'm back at my place, and Jack is snoring away on my sofa.

They threw us one helluva welcome back party at SGC. We -- Jack, Sam, Teal'c and I -- slipped away early, though, and went to my lab. We always seem to end up there, probably because I have enough chairs for everyone, and an unending supply of coffee. We had our own little party that night. I think it took us all a while to 'come back to Earth', so to speak. I had been back for hours before I knew they were alive and safe, and they all thought I had died on Klorel's ship. I'll never forget the look on Jack's face when he saw me in the Gate Room. Well, let's just say we all had quite a lot to put behind us that night. So we just sat and talked and generally reassured each other with our presence that we were alive and it was really over.

Everyone kind of drifted back to their rooms in the early hours of the morning, but I still couldn't settle down to sleep. I had a niggling feeling Jack wasn't sleeping, either, so I went off to find him. It's funny, and I never would have believed it when I first met Colonel Jack O'Neill, but Jack and I have become somewhat 'tuned' to each other. I usually know when something's bothering him, even when he tries to hide it (and he's very good at that); and conversely, he seems to always know when I've got something on my mind.

He wasn't anywhere I checked -- his quarters, the cafeteria, the gym -- so on a hunch I went topside. It didn't take me long to find him, sitting on a grassy knoll, staring up at the fading stars in the sky, arms wrapped around his knees.

I walked over and dropped down beside him, using one of his favorite openings, "Hey."

"Hey yourself." He didn't look at me, but didn't seem surprised I was there, and I had to smile at that.

"You okay?" I asked, then smiled ruefully when I realized that was one of his favorite questions and I was usually the one on the receiving end.

Then he did turn to look at me. After a long silence he let out a gusty sigh and dropped his head onto his knees. "Can't get it outta my mind, Danny. Every time I close my eyes..."

I didn't have to ask what he was talking about. I had been fading fast in the hallway of that ship, but I saw Jack's face when he knew he had to leave me behind. I know what that decision would have cost him. I also knew there was no point in telling him he did the right thing, the only thing he could have done under the circumstances; he already knew that, just as he knew that decision had been as much mine as his. He didn't need absolution. He needed some peace. I could feel the damp chill of early morning begin to seep through my jacket. He wasn't going to find it out here.

"It's getting kind of cold out here," I pointed out conversationally. "Why don't you come back with me to my place?"

His head came up and he looked at me. "Your place?" he repeated blankly.

I think that's when I realized just how very tired he was. For a little while, I decided, he didn't need to be Colonel Jack O'Neill, team leader, responsibility-bearer. He just needed to be my friend. Climbing to my feet, I wrapped a hand around his arm and pulled him up with me.

"My place," I repeated. "We'll stop and get some food and then we'll go back to my place and just... hang out," I finished somewhat lamely.

In the dimness of early dawn I could see the beginnings of a smile crease his haggard features. "'Hang out', Daniel?"

"Yeah, hang out," I echoed, a bit firmer this time. While he allowed me to guide him back down the hill, he still hadn't agreed to accompany me back to my place, so I asked, "That sound okay to you?"

Then I felt a warm arm drop across my shoulders and a hand squeeze my shoulder. "That's more than okay with me."

So we picked up some hot food and came back here. It took a while for Jack to unwind enough to relax, but I think getting him away from base helped. That, and the two of us sitting here watching TV and having a couple of beers, like we had so many times in the past. He just needed some normalcy, some peace.

So did I. I thought I'd lost them all.

I hear Jack stirring. He's slept for almost eight hours, so I'm hoping the worst is behind him now. I haven't been able to do more than grab a few naps in this chair, but I was kind of keeping an ear out for Jack to make sure he was okay. Once he's awake I have an idea he's going to pick up on that pretty quickly and I'll be bundled off to bed double-quick. With any luck, he'll save the lecture for later.

Uh oh. He's awake, he's up, and he's got 'that look' on his face. I guess this isn't the right time to ask him about that 'space monkey' remark...

D. Jackson

[Chapter 8:Gamekeeper]