• SPOILERS : Heavy spoilers for Forever In a Day and Past and Present, slight mention of Legacy and Stargate, The Movie
• Tag for Past and Present
• PG [D] [A]

"I sense we knew each other well before my memory was lost. Did we?"

"No. No, we never really did."

Daniel watched Ke'ra absorb his denial, bewildered at his response. She turned away from him to join her two Vyan friends as they strode up the ramp toward the shimmering, active wormhole. She paused, turned and favored him with a small smile of goodbye before looking ahead and with determination stepping through the event horizon to begin her new life on Vyas.

No, Ke'ra, you never really knew me because I don't even know myself right now Daniel thought as he turned away from the deactivating Stargate. He saw Jack, Teal'c, Sam, Janet and General Hammond all looking at him. They were confused, concerned and more than a little leery of him and his current emotional state. Daniel schooled his face into a stern "Leave me alone" look. He knew the silent message was received by the frowning glance Sam gave to Jack. See Ke'ra, my friends don't even know what to think of me right now.

Daniel completed his turn and walked from the embarkation room leaving his friends gaping in his wake. Deliberately taking the long circuitous route to the Briefing Room, he strode into the deserted area unnoticed. A quick glance through the window into Hammond's office confirmed the general was absent. Daniel sat in one of the chairs ringing the oblong table. He could wait. And he could use this time to think.

He was now extremely ashamed and embarrassed at his behavior exhibited in this very room. Daniel supposed he could justify what he said, and how he said it, to get his point across. Sometimes people do change. That change can be for the better, or for the worse, but it was possible. Ke'ra, the brilliant, compassionate woman, who wanted only to help the stricken people of Vyas, was not the same woman she was when she arrived on that planet as Linnea, the Destroyer of Worlds. Yes, Daniel thought, rubbing his forehead to ward off the on coming headache, he could have presented his arguments in a manner not meant to hurt Teal'c, or fly off at Jack. God, he was lucky neither man had gotten up and flattened him with one angered punch. He had been an ass, and way out of line. He had no right to use his friends to champion a woman they all knew had been a coldhearted butcher in her previous life. No, Daniel realized, he didn't know himself anymore. All the more justification to do what he had carefully begun to plan the moment after Jack had stood behind him in the VIP room, with gun drawn ready to shoot Ke'ra.

Daniel looked up when he heard footsteps echoing on the staircase, indicating someone was arriving via the gate room below. He stood when he saw it was, indeed, General Hammond.

"Doctor Jackson?" the older man greeted, confused.

"I'd like a moment of your time, sir, to speak to you in private," Daniel requested. He didn't want to waste time.

"Come into my office."

Daniel obeyed, closing the door behind him.

"Please have a seat, Doctor Jackson."

He went to sit stiffly in the chair the base commander indicated opposite the desk. Hammond looked at him patiently waiting for him to speak.

"I'd like to request a leave of absence from my duties at the SGC. I've come to realize I need some personal time. I haven't properly grieved for the loss of my wife. And I need some time, private time, to think about things. A lot of things."

Hammond's stern face softened and he leaned forward, arms resting on his desk. "I agree, Doctor Jackson. I'm relieved you've finally realized you need this time away."

"Yes, sir. It still doesn't excuse my behavior in the briefing room the other day and I'd like to apologize to you for that."

"No need, son. Will a week be sufficient?"

No, general, I was actually thinking much longer, like a month but..."Ah, a week will be fine." Daniel stood. "I'd like to leave now if that's allowed."

"Permission granted. I'll inform Colonel O'Neill that SG-1 is on a week's downtime."

"Thank you, sir." The archeologist turned to leave.

"Doctor Jackson." Daniel paused at the closed door, his attention focused on the seated general. "I understand the pain and devastation one feels when your wife has died. If you need to talk, I'm available."

Daniel looked away from the sympathetic general. "I'll keep that in mind." He opened the door and quickly departed the office.

****

Daniel had formulated his strategy while waiting for Hammond in the briefing room. Now he began to methodically accomplish everything on his mental checklist. First, he went to the locker room and changed into his civilian clothes. No one saw him. He then made his way to this office. He wanted to get away as quickly as possible but realized there were important things he had to attend to before his departure.

First, shut off, empty and clean the coffee maker. Wouldn't do to have the entire base burn down because he forgot to turn of the coffeepot. Second, he sat before his computer, updated and printed out all of his current on-going translation projects stored on the hard drive along with their secured passwords. Daniel cleared off the center of his cluttered desk and laid the printout in full view. No need to make it difficult for his replacement, if there was one, to find what needed to be done. Third, he stood, and with canvas carryall in one hand conducted a rushed, but thorough, inventory of his office, taking only those few books, research reports and artifacts which were his personal property. He paused at the case holding his hand written volumes of Goa'uld, Ancients and Asgaard dictionaries in the making. It was his work, but he believed the Air Force would frown on him removing classified material so he left them as they were.

He returned to the desk, set the canvas bag on top, and rearranged the items inside so he could close it. Several framed photos sat among all the other desk clutter. One was of Sha're. It disappeared into the bag followed by the crudely made, yet primitively elegant, clay cup they had shared when they celebrated their official wedding, the night Jack and the first team had returned to Earth. Daniel lovingly held the cup in his hands. It was forever ago yet if he concentrated, he could smell her essence, hear the music, and the joyful singing....Closing his eyes Daniel regained control of his emotions and himself. Not now and not here he scolded. He carefully wrapped the cup in a sweater he took from the desk chair. Once in the bag, he began to zip it closed but his eye fell upon the second photo. It was a recent group portrait of SG-1 taken several months after their rescue from Hathor. It was meant to document their victory over yet another System Lord. Shaking his head, Daniel clutched the bag and turned to leave. He paused, frowned and reached behind him for the framed photo. He picked it up. Holding it in his hands he surveyed the office once more, walked to the doorway, switched off the lights and closed the door.

His luck held. Daniel passed through all the security checkpoints, arrived at the parking lot and drove through the front gates. No one tried to stop him. A heavy sigh initiated his drive down the curving mountain road as he distanced himself from the SGC.

Daniel was relieved he'd not been seen, or stopped, by any of his friends. He really needed to be alone. The fiasco with Ke'ra/Linnea had clearly revealed this necessity. Old habits die hard. No matter how well meaning, or supportive, Sam, Jack, Teal'c, Janet and even the general, were, Daniel had to be alone, to grieve for Sha're, to try and resolve all the conflicting matters racing around his mind. He'd learned at a very early age, after the traumatic death of his parents, when it came right down to it, the only person you could always rely on was yourself. Oh sure, Jack had been preaching the team concept for three years. SG-1 was a team, therefore they relied on each other and helped each other when needed. After a lifetime of learning self reliance, Daniel had reluctantly begun to believe, had actually begun to buy into it, had begun to trust, only to have it all shattered when his teammates, his friends, had abandoned him and left him alone and terrified, cowering in a white padded room. Alone, he had to struggle to regain his freedom, without any assistance from his friends. Daniel clutched the steering wheel tamping down the surge of anger he still harbored concerning the Marchello incident. It was all starting to escape, all the hurt he had buried deep within himself. Now was not the time he told himself corraling it into his inner place of concealment. Once again under control, he loosened his grip on the steering wheel. He'd somehow manage to get through all this too--alone.

His errands finally completed, it was late afternoon when Daniel neared his apartment building. A quick survey revealed no familiar vehicles parked and waiting. His luck was still holding. It was safe. He drove into the underground parking garage.

A few hours later in his study, he sat typing before his computer. He had showered, changed into jeans, plaid shirt and hiking boots. Several athletic and canvas bags were packed and positioned by the door, waiting. Typing completed, Daniel read the document on the computer screen, then printed it out. He laid it in a file folder along with the other items, his SGC security card, official military ID badge and few other papers. He closed the file, labeled "Stuff I have to do when I get back" and turned off the computer. He walked to the apartment door, shouldered the two larger bags and held the canvas carryall bag in his left hand. His right hand palmed his keys from the countertop.

The phone rang.

Daniel paused, indecisive. He had a pretty good idea who would be calling. Listening, he waited for the answering machine to engage. His assumption had been correct.

"Daniel? This is Jack. C'mon pick up, I know you're there." There was a pause. "Okay. Then listen. Hammond just told me about your vacation. I know you're, well, not quite feeling like yourself right now. I know, cos I've been there. I want to help. So do Carter and Teal'c. Call me tomorrow. We can talk. We can help you through this. I'll be waiting to hear from you." There was a click followed by silence. Daniel resumed his interrupted departure, closing and locking the apartment behind him.

****

****

The inky blackness of a cloudy midnight shrouded the land. With increasing difficulty, Daniel maneuvered his car along the tree lined dirt road leading to the Littlefield's mountain cabin hideaway. He finally arrived at his destination. When the headlights of the car winked off, Daniel, too, was engulfed in the darkness of night. His heart, his soul, his very being felt much the same, dark and empty.

With lethargic effort, he managed to exit the parked vehicle and stumble along the flagstone path he couldn't see toward the rustic cabin.

In the dark, Daniel fumbled inserting the key into the lock, a task more difficult due to both the lack of light with which to see and the roiling emotions surging through him threatening to burst forth at any moment. Cursing, he finally succeeded, felt the key slide into the lock, heard the click as it opened the tumblers. He turned the knob and the heavy wooden door swung inward. Daniel shuffled forward into the darkened interior of the cabin, slammed the door behind him, and leaned his trembling body heavily against the immovable solidness.

Accentuated by a hoarse cry of agony, the emotional tidal wave he had fought against all day, finally burst free. Tears began to flow down his face, his body rocked by sobs, Daniel collapsed to the floor.

He openly wept, finally accepting the reality of his loss. Sha're was gone. As he had haltingly explained to Ke'ra, Sha're realistically had been gone for the last three years. He had simply and stubbornly refused to admit and accept the reality. Until now. This was a very personal grief, an emotional release he would allow no one to witness. His wife was forever gone. And he was once again, alone.

****

For the third time in as many days, Daniel watched the morning sun crest the eastern horizon. It would be a glorious sunrise, he mused glancing out the driver side window. He steered the forest green Blazer south on Interstate 25 with his left hand while his right held the Styrofoam cup of steaming aromatic coffee from Starbucks. Caffeine craving momentarily satisfied, Daniel set the cup in the holder and leaned back into the car seat ignoring the morning news report issuing from the vehicle's radio. Traffic was very light. Daniel had to drive another hour or so before the Highway 160 exit would take him west into the grandeur of the Rocky Mountains. It gave his thoughts time to wander wherever they wanted to go.

Daniel wondered, again, if he was being clever enough. Being devious was as foreign a concept to him as lying. But he believed it had been necessary. Had he covered his tracks to make it difficult for Jack to find him? Because, despite some ambivalent feelings towards his friends at the moment, they were his friends. The only friends he had. Knowing they would eventually try and find him both comforted and annoyed him. Still, Daniel knew one certainty: Jack always found him. Jack was Black Ops trained after all. They always found their target. Always.

Well, he thought, let's review. He'd withdrawn five thousand dollars in tens and twenties from his account at the bank. Daniel grinned, recalling the very helpful female teller trying earnestly to convince him it would be easier and safer to use his ATM cards, credit cards or travelers checks. Sure, and easier to trace as well. Daniel had politely thanked her for the information and got his cash anyway. Since he had long ago established automatic withdrawal for paying his bills--he never knew with gate travel when he would be home or not--that angle was covered. His apartment would still be waiting for him whenever he returned home. And Mrs. O'Mally, his elderly neighbor lady, would continue to feed his fish, water his plants and collect his mail.

He had spent that first evening with Catherine and Ernest. He was purposefully vague about his plans, grateful the older couple were aware of his situation and willing to give him his space, use of their mountain cabin and this Blazer for as long as he needed. Of course, if he didn't tell them anything, they couldn't tell Jack. If he wasn't driving his own vehicle, it would be more difficult, but not impossible, to track his movements.

Once his grieving had played out, he utilized the computer in the cabin, and spent the following two days doing research. He'd found a few places where he hoped he could lose himself for a time. Where no one would know whom Doctor Daniel Jackson, widower, was. Nor would they have any knowledge of the SGC, the Stargate, wormholes, Goa'uld, or know his radical theories concerning the construction of the Great Pyramids had been true. He'd simply be Daniel. He fervently hoped he could once again find the Daniel he was four years ago. Because, the Daniel he was now was a stranger, even to himself.

Maybe he had already taken the first step in achieving that goal. The entire first night spent in the Langford's cabin, Daniel had cried, long and hard for his wife. It was the first time since her death he had shed tears for his loss. It had been emotionally devastating and physically draining but he had finally given voice to his grief. He doubted it would be the first time. Now, he could begin to deal with his guilt at failing to protect her and rescue her from the hell of Goa'uld possession.

Daniel hoped his actions had bought himself enough time to accomplish everything he wanted to address. One week would not be long enough. But it would give him a head start before Jack, concerned with his disappearence, began searching. Of course the perfect scenario allowed him to return to the SGC on his own terms and his own time. The decision to remain or leave the program would be one he could then render with no coercion.

Satisfied with the execution of his plan, Daniel relaxed and began to admire and appreciate the passing scenery.

****

Daniel slowed the Blazer, braking to a stop. The trailing dust cloud created by the vehicle's passage rolled past and dissipated. Daniel shut off the ignition and scanned the wilderness area with a critical eye.

So, now I get on with my life by finding the farthest dig I can.

Well, he mused, it wasn't the farthest dig he could have gone on, but it was an archeological dig. Sort of. There was no doubt this had once been the site of an ancient Native American settlement, possibly, although improbably, Anasazi. The seemingly haphazardly piled yellowish sandstone rocks were the remnants of primitive stone dwellings. Only the eye of a trained archeologist would view these rock piles and deduce it had once been inhabited. This was indeed, a virgin site, bordered on two sides by reddish orange-banded sandstone bluffs. Distant, higher, more imposing cliffs and flat topped mesas altered the terrain to the east and west of the site. This was perfect, Daniel decided. The location offered everything he was looking for. It was isolated, desolate and offering the solitude he so desperately craved during this time of mourning and self-introspection.

When the two distant, kneeling figures finally took notice of his arrival, Daniel opened the door and stepped out of the Blazer into the arid, hot desert air. The man and woman stood and approached him cautiously but also curious. Daniel favored them with his patented, non-threatening "Hi, we're peaceful travelers" smile and prepared to engage his cover story and volunteer his archeological services.

****

Seven days of frustration. Seven days of worrying on the whereabouts of one absent archeologist. Jack looked at his wristwatch again. He'd lost count of how many times he'd done so. Still, it didn't change the fact Daniel was late. Daniel was very, very, very late. He looked once more to the silently fuming Hammond and shrugged his shoulders in apology.

"I don't know what to say, sir, or how to explain why Daniel isn't here."

"Neither can I, Colonel," Hammond snapped. "I was very explicit in allowing Doctor Jackson one week of personal leave time. If he needed more, all he had to do was contact me and request it. I would have happily granted it."

"Well, sir, all I know is Daniel didn't answer my phone messages. I went to his apartment and no one answered when I knocked. His neighbor lady, Mrs. O'Mally, never saw him come home or leave. His car isn't in the garage. When I let myself in, he wasn't home. Maybe he just lost track of time and thinks he's supposed to be here tomorrow," Jack offered lamely. "I mean, we all know when Daniel gets distracted......"

"You don't think he may have done something rash, do you, Colonel?" Hammond abruptly asked.

Jack paused before answering. He knew what the general was asking, he just didn't want to think about the implications. "You...mean, like kill himself, sir?" he hesitated. "No, sir. Not Daniel. He's too stubborn and strong willed. He'd never take the coward's way out." Jack became silent, frowning, recalling some less than stellar moments in his life after Charlie's death. He closed down that train of thought and addressed the general. "I think Daniel is doing what he told you. He needed some time to sort things out. I respect his right to privacy. But, I'm getting more than a little concerned about this disappearing act of his, sir."

"You think something may have happened to him?"

"The possibility has begun to cross my mind, sir. Daniel is no expert in deception. He'd leave a trail. Or, if something has happened to him, those who took him would leave a trail. We just have to find it and follow it."

Hammond thought for a moment. "Then do so, Colonel. This is SG-1's mission. Find Doctor Jackson. As fond as I am of him, his involvement with this program doesn't grant him allowances to do as he pleases. And that includes walking away from the SGC."

"Sir?" Jack asked, his silvered eyebrows raised. "What exactly are you saying?"

"Just find him, Colonel. Bring him back."

****

Another twenty four hours had passed to find an aggitated Jack sitting once more in the general's on-base office facing an unhappy Hammond.

"We don't know where Daniel is. We started our search checking his lab. Should have done that earlier, I guess. But since he was on vacation, there was no need. He closed it up like he's not expecting to come back. Carter found this," O'Neill slid a piece of paper across the desk. "It's a printout of all his on-going translation projects and where to find them on his computer along with the passwords to access the files."

"You believe Doctor Jackson doesn't intend on returning," Hammond stated.

Jack shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. I think Daniel, being Daniel, is hedging his bets. Just in case. We went to his apartment. He's packed some clothes, his archeology tool thingys are gone and we found this in his study."

O'Neill slid a file to the general.

Hammond read the elegant scrawl across the flap. "Stuff I have to do when I get back." He opened the folder and sorted through the contents. He held up the undated, but signed, resignation letter. "Doctor Jackson intends to resign from the program?"

"Again, sir, I think Daniel's hedging his bets. I'm guessing it's one of the things he told you he needed to sort out. And not to brag, but Daniel and I are close." Jack paused, frowning. Were they really still such close friends he mused. Realizing Hammond was patiently waiting, he resumed speaking. "He wouldn't make such a decision one way or the other without talking it over with me first. Or with Carter and Teal'c. It's a decision that would affect all of us. Daniel's not a selfish person. He'd never deliberately do anything in his own best interest that would hurt others."

"I agree with you on that last assessment, Colonel," Hammond said closing the file. "What else have you discovered?"

"Daniel withdrew five thousand dollars, in cash, from his account at the bank."

"Can't trace cash."

"Exactly. So we went to see Catherine and Ernest. They admitted Daniel had visited them and asked to use their mountain cabin. They were very vague but Daniel was deliberately vague with them. The only reason they admitted as much as they did is because they're concerned for him. We checked the cabin. He wasn't there, but his car was. And the Littlefield's Blazer was gone."

"So, he switched vehicles."

"Yes, sir. I confess I didn't know Daniel could be this sneaky. I'm impressed. I guess he really wanted to be left alone."

"I understand his desire for privacy, Jack. But he has to be found."

"I understand, sir. I suggest we have the Air Force issue a missing person report nationwide. I have a gut feeling he hasn't left the country but we should check for use of his passport and check the usual airports, trains, buses."

Hammond nodded his agreement. "I'll notify the proper channels and get the ball rolling. You and the rest of SG-1 should stay at the base and be ready to retrieve Doctor Jackson once he's located."

"Yes, sir." Jack leaned back into his chair. He really wanted to avoid going the heavy-handed route. He fully understood what Daniel was feeling right now. He, himself, had effectively shut out everyone after Charlie's' death. In hindsight, it only harmed him more, not helped. You're going to get our help, Danny, whether you want it or not.

****

Not much ever happened in Montezuma County located in the desert southwestern corner of Colorado. At least not much requiring police involvement aside from the occasional drunk and disorderly, some modern day cattle rustling, some drug smuggling usually handled by the Feds and an occasional theft of ancient Native American artifacts from the uncatalogued archeological sites dotting the desert landscape. Most of the important sites were located within the national parks boundary or on the Indian reservation under tribal jurisdiction. There were, however, scattered locations on private land not under protection. These areas were constantly looted and damaged in the search for artifacts which, unfortunately, sold well on the antiquities black market.

So it was with some interest Sheriff Harrel Brady studied the missing person fax his office received. What made it more interesting was the fact the US Air Force was looking for this missing archeologist, a Doctor Daniel Jackson. In a strange twist of logic, the sheriff thought how apropos it would be to find a missing archeologist here in the midst of some of the most important archeological ruins in the country. Still, things had been pretty slow of late so it wouldn't hurt to keep an eye out he decided folding the paper and sticking it in his shirt pocket. Standing, the muscular, fortyish, brown haired sheriff departed his office. He stood outside taking note of the traffic moving along the main drag of the city of Cortez, the county seat. Time to begin his daily patrol. He made a point to remind himself to stop in at the national park headquarters as well as the Ute Indian reservation and ask if anyone had seen the missing Doctor Jackson.

****

"General, you wanted to see us." Jack addressed the seated Hammond, who waved the three members of SG1 to chairs around the Briefing Room table with his free hand. The other hand held a phone receiver to his ear and he was listening intently.

"Ah, yes, Sheriff Brady. Thank you for holding. I'll put you on the speaker phone." The general put action to words, pushing the button engaging the phone speaker and replaced the handset.

"Can you hear, me sheriff?"

"I sure can, general." A pleasant, southwestern twang issued loudly from the speaker.

"I have Colonel Jack O'Neill, Major Samantha Carter, and er," Hammond paused looking at the stoic Teal'c, "er, another friend of Doctor Jackson here with me," he finally said.

"Howdy folks," the sheriff's voice greeted the new arrivals. "Hope I'm bringing you some good news. I may have a lead on your missing archeologist. During my tour of the county, I stopped in at the Mesa Verde National Park Visitors Center. Seems, Ada, one of the information receptionists there, is pretty sure she saw your boy in here last week. Says there were five things about this man that she clearly recalls and I quote: He had blue eyes to die for, he was drop dead gorgeous, he weren't wearin' no ring on his marrying finger, he had the cutest butt in tight jeans she'd ever seen and least you think Ada don't get out much, she's a levelheaded and no-nonsense married lady with three kids. But the most import thing she said stood out about this feller was he was the most polite, courteous, well-mannered, intelligent and soft-spoken man she'd ever had the pleasure of meeting. She identified him as the one pictured in the missing persons fax. Sound like your boy, general?"

There were relieved and amused grins shared by the listeners.

"Oh yeah," Jack confirmed, leaning toward the speaker phone, "that's Daniel all right. Do you know where he went?"

"No, sir, I don't. But Ada said he was asking all sorts of questions about the on-going archeological digs here, both in and adjacent to the park. There are four underway right now. She gave him a map with the site locations marked along with directions."

"It's imperative we locate Doctor Jackson," Hammond stated.

"I understand. Tell you what, tomorrow during my rounds I'll stop in at the four digs, see if he's volunteering at one of them. I do it about once a week anyway. I get nervous with those retirees and college students camped out there in the wide-open spaces unprotected. We do have problems occasionally with folks stealing artifacts from sites."

"We'd appreciate that, sheriff. Let us know if you locate him."

"Sure thing, general. Glad to be of assistance. You have a nice day now."

****

****

Sheriff Brady slowed then stopped his police issue SUV to park behind the beat-up, dust covered, black and gray Ford truck, a small, older model motor home and d deceptively newer, and expensive, dark green Blazer. This was the last of the four current on-going archeological dig sites associated with the Mesa Verde National Park and, therefore the last site he had to check. So far he'd found no signs of the Air Force's missing scientist at the other three digs. If he wasn't here, Harrel had no where else to look. However, the license plates and the Blazer matched the description in the missing persons flyer. He was fairly sure he'd found his man. He peered out the driver's side window. This site was the most isolated and least populated of the four archeological digs. It was located on private lands east of the park and west of BLM land. The Mancos River was nearby. At the moment, two unsupervised college students were out here alone, trying to find evidence to prove an unpopular theory. The sheriff, being a father himself, was keeping a particularly protective eye on these two youngsters.

He rolled down his window. The dry heat of the dessert wafted in waves as Jeff Morton, the lanky blond haired Arizona University graduate student in charge of the dig, ceased speaking with Sheila Stevens, his smart, dark haired, athletic girlfriend, and strolled over to the SUV wiping the grim from his tanned, sweaty face with a bandana.

"Sheriff, hello," he greeted, warmly with a smile.

"Jeff, how're things going?"

"Well, still slow. We're just not going to have enough time to properly excavate this site before the land holders proceed with their sale." Jeff looked down, disappointed. "So much will be lost. I just know this is a significant site. If only I had more people, time and resources...."

Sheriff Brady sympathized with the young man's plight. Jeff was passionate about his work, like all young people are when they embark on their lifetime careers. This excavation hopefully would have supported Jeff's somewhat unconventional theories of the Anasazi people. But, in the harsh reality of the real world, such dreams were often unfulfilled. Money always took priority over everything, even the search for knowledge.

"I hear you, son," the sheriff offered in sympathy. He eyed the Blazer. "Seems like you've found a believer though." He indicated the expensive vehicle with a nod of his head.

"Oh, yeah. Daniel."

The Sheriff's attention pricked at the name.

"Very nice man. Very helpful. Very knowledgeable for someone who does archeology as a hobby. He was certainly a godsend. Supplying his own food. Even gave Sheila and myself money to buy our food so we had funds to cover our other expenses. My grant money is nearly spent."

"Hobby, huh. That what he told you?"

Jeff favored the sheriff with a pensive look. "Yes. Why, is there something wrong, Sheriff?"

"No. But could you have Daniel come over to talk at me for a minute or two."

"Sure," Jeff conceded before walking away, puzzled.

Brady watched Jeff go to someone kneeling in one of the cordoned off grids. Even from here, he could see the figure was carefully and methodically excavating the square pit. The figure stood when Jeff pointed him in the direction of the waiting sheriff. Harrel watched as "Daniel" removed his bandana, lifted his sunglasses, wiped his face and replaced his glasses before walking to where he waited. As the man neared, Brady saw he was, indeed, the man pictured in the Air Force APB despite the sunglasses, the five o'clock shadow on his youngish face and dust caked and sweat stained clothes.

"You wanted to speak to me, sheriff?" the man Jeff identified as Daniel asked as he warily approached the SUV.

"Doctor Daniel Jackson?"

The man frowned, annoyed, and stood stiff and apprehensive. "Yes."

"Got some friends of yours looking for you, son. Some very concerned friends in the Air Force out of Colorado Springs. Know anything about that?"

Daniel folded his arms across his chest, ducked his head and kicked several fist sized rocks littering the sandy ground with one booted foot in frustration. "What do they want?" he demanded.

"Well, they want to know you're alive and well and where you are."

"Okay, fine," Daniel said lifting his head and removing his sunglasses, a hint of defiance flaring in his uncovered blue eyes. "Tell them I'm alive and well and they don't need to know where I am."

"Afraid it don't work like that, son."

Brady watched as Daniel replaced his sunglasses on his nose. Ada had been right, he mused, about those blue eyes. Daniel exhaled in defeat his shoulders slumping. "Can you call them from here or do I have go with you?"

"I can contact them from here. Whether or not you have to come with me is their decision."

"I understand."

It took about a minute for his call to clear the proper security precautions before General Hammond's voice issued from his SUV radio speaker. Not for the first time, the sheriff wondered just what top-secret hush-hush military project this archeologist could possibly be involved in.

"Yes, Sheriff Brady. General Hammond. I've been expecting your call."

"General. I have good news to report. I've located your missing scientist. He's standing here with me and he's not very happy at having been found."

"May I?" Daniel asked of the sheriff, holding out his hand. The sheriff relinquished the mike. In doing so he suddenly realized he was going to be intruding on what his instincts were telling him was a rather personal matter.

"Jack? Are you there?" Daniel spoke tersely into the mike.

"Daniel. Good to hear your voice."

"What the hell are you doing?"

"We're looking for you."

"I'm on leave."

"Which was up Monday. You're AWOL. Did you forget you were supposed to come back to work?"

"I'm a civilian, not military. I can't be AWOL. I'm on extended leave."

"Not according to General Hammond. Daniel, are you going to resign from the SGC?"

Harrel saw Daniel's face shadowed with anger. Oh yeah, a very personal matter. "What right do you have to enter my apartment and go through my personal stuff?"

"Just answer the question."

Head bowed, Daniel stared at the reddish sandy ground, fingers flexing and unflexing around the mike. A few tense moments passed. "I haven't decided yet. Look, Jack, your concern is noted along with everyone else at the SGC. But I need time. I've lost myself. I'm an archeologist and linguist, a scholar, not a soldier or a diplomat or whatever else the SGC demands of me. I need to try and find the man my wife fell in love with. I hope you can understand that."

"Daniel, I do. You know I do. When I was lost, you found me and pointed me in the right direction. Let me do the same for you."

"I'm not ready for that yet, Jack. Look, I'll call you when I'm ready to come back. Until then, unless you're going to order Sheriff Brady, is it?" the Sheriff nodded. "to arrest me, I have work to do. Meaningful work."

"Daniel, you have meaningful work here at the SGC."

"No. My work at the SGC is responsible for the death of my wife."

"You don't believe that."

"Goodbye, Jack."

Daniel clicked off the mike and held it toward the sheriff. "I'm sorry they got you involved in this. But I'm fine and I have work to do."

With that, Daniel turned away and strode purposefully to where he had been digging.

"Ah, General Hammond, are you still there?" the sheriff asked, speaking into his radio mike.

"Yes, sheriff."

"Do you want me to take him into town and hold him until you send someone to fetch him?"

"No. Leave him there, sheriff." This came from the Colonel O'Neill, wasn't it? "We'll come down and get him. Thank you."

"My pleasure. Good luck. Something tells me you're going to need it." Harrel clicked off the radio. He sat for a few minutes longer watching Jeff and his girlfriend Sheila talking and the runaway archeologist digging. He started up the SUV. He sure hoped this Colonel O'Neill knew what he was taking on.

****

The sound of the sheriff clicking off and ending the transmission echoed in the silent briefing room. Jack shared concerned looks with a worried Carter and Teal'c.

"Look, General, Daniel's upset or he wouldn't have said what he did. I'd like us to be the ones to go down there." Hammond nodded his concurrence. "In fact, " Jack continued, "I'd like your permission to not follow the rule book in this matter."

"What do you have in mind, Colonel?"

"Well, I'll need to borrow some things."

****

Daniel at first thought the distant rumbling was the sound of thunder indicating a storm may be approaching. He paused in his digging to view the sky overhead. If a storm was coming they would need to get the pits tarped to keep the rain out. But there were no clouds marring the azure sky. Must have been a plane or something, he told himself and resumed his digging. A moment passed and the sound repeated, louder this time.

Confused, Daniel stood and began a visual survey of the surrounding area. His reconnaissance ceased when he spied the rising dust cloud. It seemed to be headed towards the dig. From behind his sunglasses, Daniel peered suspiciously at the billowing dust and saw a vehicle, a large truck trundling along the staked pathway leading to the site. Daniel watched the truck come closer. Recognition dawned. It was a military transport truck. Resignation and anger warred within himself.

What in the hell....Damnit!! They just couldn't send an SF or something to escort me back? No, they have to send a transport truck? What the hell were they thinking? That I'm some threat to humanity? I'm a civilian! Damn them!

That did it. He was angry now. Dropping his tools Daniel marched over to the Blazer and stood in defiance, hands planted on hips, waiting for the truck to arrive. Coming to a halt with a grinding of gears, a squeaking of breaks, it engulfed the area in a dusty haze. The engine roared one last time before becoming silent. Three figures casually dressed in T-shirts, jeans and work boots, disembarked. Daniel could not believe what he was seeing.

"Jack, what the hell are you doing here?" Daniel snapped, removing his sunglasses, his blue eyes a blaze with real anger.

Anger, that was a good sign, Jack told himself as he sauntered toward his friend. Not so sure it was a good sign that the anger was directed at the three of them. After grief should come anger. It was part of the grieving process. It was certainly a process he'd kept on hold for too long after Charlie died. Daniel had been doing the same since Sha're's death. Holding it off, refusing to give in to it. Daniel never cried at the funeral, or anytime after, that Jack was aware of. And Daniel had refused to take time off from work staying in denial. That all changed with Ke'ra. Oh yeah, Jack knew all the signs. He was secretly glad to see Daniel had started down the path. And he'd be damned if he would let Daniel complete the journey alone. His friend was going to have company whether he wanted it or not.

"Is there a problem, Daniel?" Jeff asked. He, too, had seen the Air Force truck rumbling down the dirt trackway leading to the dig site. Curious, he and Sheila had abandoned their cataloguing of pot shards and stone points to come out of the motor home and see what was going on.

"Hi, there. You must be Jeff and Sheila," the silver haired man said, smiling, and extending his hand. Jeff took it, noticing the grip was strong and sure. "I'm Jack, this is Sam," he pointed to the tall, very fit, striking blond woman, who smiled and offered her hand, "and this is Murray," Jack indicated the silent, intimidating, turbaned black man whose grip was the strongest of the three. "We're friends of Daniel's. We heard you could use some help with your digging. We're on vacation and, so, here we are." Jack offered his explanation with a disarming smile and wide open arms.

"You're not serious," Daniel exclaimed.

"We are indeed most serious in our offer of assistance, DanielJackson." This came from Murray.

"We're very quick learners, willing to do whatever you need us to do." Sam volunteered. "And we've been with Daniel on a few of his digs, so we have an understanding of the procedures and so on."

"Unbelievable," Daniel huffed. He turned away from the three new arrivals, arms crossed.

"A few of your digs?" Jeff asked, bewildered. "You told me you do this as a hobby. You're an actual archeologist?"

"Thank you so much, Jack," Daniel snapped spinning around to glare at the older man even though Sam was the guilty one who had revealed his profession. He looked over to the still bewildered Jeff and Sheila. "It's a long story," Daniel offered in apology. He lifted one hand. "Nothing sinister is going on. I'm on vacation. And I haven't had the opportunity to practice my archeological skills in a long time." He fixed the three incognito members of SG-1 with a withering glare then turned back to the two college students. "Look, this is your dig, Jeff, so it's your decision if you want them to stay or not. You do need the help. They are a bit clumsy, but they know enough to be careful on a dig and not break the artifacts. But, I'm warning you, if you let them stay, you have no idea what you're getting yourself involved with."

"Look, Daniel," Sam said, stepping over to stand beside him. "We care about you and we're here to help you, if you'll let us." She looked to the two-stunned grad students. "And we understand from Sheriff Brady you could use the help. Time is an issue here. We've brought tools, tents, several lap tops, digital cameras. I can set up a portable link to some satellites to get aerial imagery to assist you in where to dig." At this Sheila brightened. Sam smiled. "Yeah, working with Daniel I know how important it is to properly label, record and document every artifact you find."

"Hey, we even brought our own snacks," Jack helpfully offered. "Besides," he added his smile fading and glancing at the still unhappy Daniel, "we have a fondness for archeologists who seem to go against the established norm with their theories. So whadda say? Despite what Daniel said, we're not that clumsy and we'll be on our best behavior. We'll do whatever you ask us to do. You're the one in charge."

Jeff and Sheila shared a questioning look. "I don't know what to say," Jeff trailed off.

"That's easy. Just say yes."

****

****

The desert air was cooling so even without looking up at the sky, Daniel knew late afternoon was quickly becoming early evening. He ceased his digging and stretched his aching back. He looked over the rim of the trench toward the hodgepodge cluster of parked vehicles. A large military issue supply tent had been erected with it's canvas flap awning sheltering the work tables beneath it. Three smaller, two person sleeping tents joined it. Jack, Sam and Teal'c had just made themselves at home. Hell, Daniel thought, his eyes traveling over to the newly erected "facilities", Jack and Teal'c had even dug a latrine. And Sam had insisted on setting up a "shower" complete with hot water heated by the rays of the sun. As she had said out of Jeff's and Sheila's hearing, she was on vacation, not off world, and the men of SG-1 were going to take daily advantage of the shower as was she. Daniel was mildly surprised Sam got her way. But he emphatically told Jack he would continue sleeping in the Blazer. They may be here now, intruding on his privacy, but he didn't have to socialize with them. He had voiced his displeasure and his intention earlier today. He then put action to words and passed the entire day uninterrupted, serenely excavating a trench.

Daniel slowly rose, climbing out of the grid pit he had been excavating. He covered the hole with a tarp and weighted the covering down with several fist-sized rocks.

Task completed, he turned to watch as Jeff and Sheila, holding hands, came walking towards him. Jeff was carrying a rolled blanket and Sheila a small cooler.

"Daniel. I thought you'd want some time with your friends so Sheila and I are going off to watch the sunset," Jeff explained.

Do I look that naive? Daniel thought. "Thanks. Have fun," he offered waving them on their way.

He stood and watched them, a sad wistful look on his grimy face. It wasn't difficult for his imagination to conjure up a vision of himself and Sha're, walking hand in hand across the dunes of Abydos, so totally enamored with each other nothing else mattered. They had often sat on the sere cliffs overlooking the Abydonian settlement and watched the sunset. Of course, that was usually after they had engaged in passionate and satisfying lovemaking. During their year of bliss, they both believed they had the rest of their lives in which to watch thousand of sunsets. Daniel had been naive then. Not any more. Having all the time in the world was probably the same mindset the two young lovers existed in right now. And why not. They were young. They most likely did have the rest of their lives to watch sunsets together. Daniel stood motionless, arms crossed before his chest watching until the two figures rounded a rock outcrop and disappeared from sight.

There were two reasons Daniel had selected this dig to volunteer his services. The first had been the impossible odds against the success of a grad student working on his thesis, trying to prove his theory. Not a very acceptable theory stating the Anasazi didn't all necessarily live in the cliff dwelling structures dotting the American southwest. Evidence was needed to prove his thesis. Evidence Jeff did not have at the moment but was hoping to find. It would validate his theory and he'd make quite a name for himself in the archeological community. Daniel had once been as Jeff was now. Finding someone who still had a deep passion for his work was a salve Daniel needed to soothe his own wounds. The second reason was, well, Daniel just wanted to be reminded again of how it felt to be totally besotted by love.

His stomach growled. Guess he'd better go and eat something. Then he'd take his customary evening sojourn to his place in the desert to watch the sun set, think of Sha're and write in his journal. He was recording every detail, every lesson, he could remember from the dream Sha're had sent him through the ribbon device. And he was writing down all the memories of her he could dredge to the surface. Memories such as recording the incident with Sha're and his fountain pen, the story his dream self had relayed to the dream Sam.

Daniel glared at the tents. Sam, Jack and "Murray", were sitting around the campfire eating dinner and watching him with inviting, hopeful looks. Daniel emphatically shook his head and marched toward the Blazer. Talking to his friends was not an option at the moment. He would have to talk to them eventually, he supposed, just not tonight. For the umpteenth time since Sheriff Brady had found him, Daniel wondered why the military found the concept of privacy so difficult to understand. As he opened the back door of the vehicle, Daniel reluctantly admitted he could have moved on once he was discovered. But he wouldn't do that. He would not abandon Jeff and Sheila. Which, Daniel reminded himself, is how he got into trouble in the first place, the deep rooted desire on his part to help those in need and refusing to abandon them regardless of unforeseen consequences.

Items, food, and water gathered into the canvas carryall, which he slung over his shoulder, Daniel walked away from the site and his disappointed friends going in the opposite direction taken by Jeff and Sheila.

****

It was the third day. Three days of torturing his already cranky knees by kneeling in the dirt in the arid, hot, breezeless southwest Colorado desert, troweling and brushing away sand and dirt, particle by particle. Daniel was really, truly trying his patience, Jack thought to himself. He pursed his lips, tightened his hold on the trowel and once again in control of himself resumed the agonizingly slow process of excavation. He hated this. He glanced to the man kneeling by his side, methodically and carefully going through the same motions. Daniel. He was so much better at this. Much better. It was boring enough watching Daniel do this off world. It didn't improve any when Jack was actually doing it. And to think he actually missed hearing Daniel's constant chatter about this and that and how it pertained to what they were seeing and so on and so on and so on ad infinitum. Daniel's babbling would be a welcome distraction right now. Who knew Daniel, he of the non-stop mouth, could also be Daniel, he of the lockjaw? Daniel also had the cold shoulder routine down to a fine art. So three silent, agonizing days of digging in the dirt with a zipped lipped Daniel had passed. Something was going to give. Jack had a suspicion it would be his knees.

On the other hand, he thought, trying to distract his mind from the aching joints, the kids, Jeff and Sheila were terrific. Sort of reminded him of Daniel and Sha're during the first mission to Abydos. Enthusiastic, idealistic, and eternally grateful to have help in their endeavor. At least someone appreciated the sacrifice he, Carter and Teal'c, er Murray, were making here Jack silently grumbled to himself.

Jack lifted away another trowel of dirt and obediently dumped it into his labeled bucket. Quit yer bitchin' he scolded himself. He was doing this for Daniel. Daniel his friend, Daniel who was trying to cope with a lot of shit right now. Daniel who would, and had, stood by Jack through some of his most ugly life moments without question or complaint. Tit for tat. He just wished this wasn't killing his knees.

Jack straightened, cracking his neck and rubbing his aching back. A folded, dusty military issue blanket was dropped beside him.

"Your knees must be hurting by now, Jack. Kneel on this. No need to prove your military machoness out here to anyone."

The biting retort was ready to fly out of his mouth, but Jack kept quiet. Daniel had actually spoken to him, directly to him. Maybe he was signaling he was willing to talk. Finally.

Jack took the blanket, balanced on his toes, laid it down then moved back into a kneeling position. His right knee was still furiously complaining, but it did feel somewhat better kneeling on the cushion the blanket offered. He took up his trowel and resumed his digging.

"She wants me to find the boy."

Jack paused a millisecond at the sound of Daniel's voice, then continued his excavating. He remained silent, hoping Daniel would pick up on his signal to continue speaking.

"Sha're asked me to find her son," Daniel continued.

"Ah huh. When?"

"When Ammunet was trying to kill me. Sha're was there. She was communicating with me through the ribbon device."

Okay, Jack thought, ceasing his digging. He rose and did a quick recon. Teal'c was busy shifting the excavated sand and dirt through the sieve. Carter and Sheila were under the tent canopy playing with their computers and Jeff was digging at the farthest gridded area of the site. No one within hearing range. It was safe to continue talking. He crouched into the pit and looked directly at Daniel who had never stopped digging beside him.

Daniel glanced at Jack before speaking. "I know you don't believe me, Jack. But I did not imagine it. I wasn't hearing voices like I did with Machello's killing devices. It's not wishful thinking. I'm not having a nervous breakdown. Sha're was there. She was communicating with me through the ribbon device. She told me she loved me and begged me to promise her I would find and protect the boy... her son."

Jack inwardly cringed at Daniel's accusation he would not believe him. Of course, this revelation was totally unexpected. The Machello incident had happened nearly six months ago, and yet Daniel still feared he would not be believed if he had told them about...this. This signaled to Jack that Daniel still doubted his status within the SGC and on SG-1. No wonder he was seriously considering resigning. There was a lot more going on with Daniel than his grieving for the death of Sha're. A lot more.

"Okay. You may not think so right now, but, I do believe you, Daniel. I believe in you, I always have. You say Sha're was communicating with you, then she was. I also see your dilemma." Jack resumed his digging, grinning at Daniel's shocked look at his use of the elegant word. See, hang around with a linguist long enough and you pick up a few multisyllable words. "You need the Stargate to do your searching."

"Yes."

"If you leave the program, you can't do that."

"I know." Daniel stilled, dusty hands resting on his knees. "He's not my son, Jack."

Jack pursed his lips. Here is comes. "No, he's not."

"My wife was raped by a monster who...fathered this child. He's not my son and I hate myself for even acknowledging that distinction. The baby is the son of my wife. That should be all the justification I need to look for him. He's an innocent. God knows he must be protected from the machinations of the System Lords."

"I think you're unnecessarily beating yourself up, Daniel."

"She was raped, Jack," Daniel repeated, his voice raw with emotion. "I was supposed to love and protect her."

Jack reached out and laid his hand on Daniel's back. "Sha're said she loved you, didn't she?"

Daniel nodded his head.

"She didn't blame you, Daniel. She knew you never gave up looking for her, never gave up trying to save her. She forgave you. That's why she wants you to find the baby. Why can't you forgive yourself?"

Daniel didn't answer. He sat very still staring at his hands resting on his knees.

"You're right about one thing," Jack continued, "he's a pawn, an innocent. In war, the innocents always suffer. As a soldier, it's my duty to protect the innocents as best I can. And that includes archeologists who don't have the instinct to duck when trouble starts." Jack lifted his hand away and dug some more. "So, you're torn between honoring your promise to Sha're or leaving the program all together and not keeping your promise. That why you wrote and signed that resignation letter?"

"It's not dated," Daniel clarified softly. He sighed and began to twirl the tip of his trowel in the dirt between his knees. "But it's not the only reason why I can't decide to stay or leave."

"No? What else is there that could be so important?" Jack stilled and gave Daniel his full attention.

"I'd have to leave my family." Jack's eyebrows arched at this revelation. Daniel continued to stare at the curlicues his trowel was tracing in the dirt. "You probably don't realize this, Jack, but I've adopted you, Sam and Teal'c, and to a certain extent, Janet, and General Hammond, as my family. I was never adopted after my parents died. No one, no family wanted me. So when you thrust me unwillingly into the SGC, I created my own family."

"We know, Daniel," Jack confessed. "We just never spoke about it. Haven't I said repeatedly SG-1 is a family? I mean, who else but family would be out here in the middle of nowhere sucking up dust, sweating under the desert sun getting dirty and digging in the dirt, except family to help one of their own, hmmm?"

"Family doesn't abandon one of their own in a white padded cell."

"Ow. Danny, that hurt," Jack said, stung by the words.

"It was meant to."

"Don't you think we know we screwed up big time and can probably never, ever make that up to you? You weren't the only one in pain. You said you forgave us. Did you lie?"

"No, I did forgive you. I convinced myself you all felt you were acting in my best interest. But I haven't stopped being angry with you. Why did you leave me there alone? I was calling to you for help yet all three of you just walked away and left me. Why?"

Jack stared at Daniel who stared right back.

"I have no excuses. I don't know why," Jack finally confessed. What could he say?

"Well, at least you're finally honest."

"Look, Daniel, can't we just put that Machello thing behind us and start over?" Jack asked, though it sounded more like pleading to his ears.

"Maybe..." the younger man finally conceded.

It wasn't much, but Jack was willing to take it. "So, this running away thing. Is this because we abandoned you once before and you just decided we'd abandon you again if you told us about Sha're and the ribbon device?"

"Yes," Daniel answered dropping his gaze to his dirty hands. "That and the fact I've been behaving very badly of late. Haven't I?"

"Ahh, well, ..yeah," Jack agreed. "Can't argue with that. But you had good reasons. We all understood. I thought you knew we were willing to help you."

At Daniel's "what did we just talk about look", Jack backpeddled. "Okay, right. My mistake. I see your subtle point." He immediately cringed at the words. "Oh, shit, Danny..."

"It's okay, Jack. Now we're even with the hurtful words. I know you, Sam, and Teal'c want to help. I do. But some things I still have to deal with on my own. I hope you can understand?"

"Oh, yeah. Can I ever. But I meant what I said before. You're lost, and now I've found you. I want to help you, like you once did for me. I hope you'll let us point you in the right direction. And I swear, Daniel, we won't abandon you. Not this time, not ever."

"You won't try to influence my decision to resign?"

"No, except to tell you I don't want you to leave. Neither does Carter or Teal'c. Neither do a lot of folks at the SGC. Despite what you said, your work is meaningful and not responsible for Sha're's death. We're here to help a friend through a difficult time. Nothing more." Jack resumed his digging.

"I should apologize to Teal'c."

"Yeah, that would be nice. But he understands. Whoa." Jack jerked his hand and trowel away from where he had been digging. His trowel had scraped against something hard, "Rock?" he asked, glancing uneasily at Daniel.

"Maybe." Daniel leaned over to brush away the fine particles of sand. Something was becoming exposed under his gentle cleaning. It was rounded and buff colored."

"Ahh, Daniel, please tell me that's not what I think it is?" Jack asked, his face scrunching up to express his queasiness. "Right? It's not?"

Daniel didn't answer at once. He continued with his exploration and was rewarded by uncovering several additional rounded objects.

"Please tell me this is just a buried pile of rocks?" Jack repeated his discomfort building.

The second and third rounded objects became clearer with each swish of Daniel's fine haired brush. Black, white and red zigzagged lines marked their bluff hued surfaces.

"Jack, you did it. This is what Jeff's been looking for," Daniel said, not hiding his own rising excitement of discovery.

"Not rocks?" Jack repeated in a tiny voice. Then he focused on what Daniel had said. "Really? I found the treasure?"

"Yes, archeological treasure. Possibly, an Anasazi burial. This far away from the cliff dwellings. The first rounded object you've rightly guessed is a skull. These are burial pots. If they're intact, along with this skeleton, this will be a significant find."

"Really?" Jack repeated, interested despite his queasiness about digging up old bones.

"Really. Nice job, Jack. I'll make an archeologist out of you yet."

"In your dreams, Doctor Jackson," Jack playfully retorted. He sat back out of the way and watched Daniel continue his careful excavation, exposing more and more of the burial contents. He also relished in the success of his partial accomplishment of getting Daniel's confessions of what was weighing so heavily on his soul. He knew after the Machello incident, Daniel had closed himself off from his friends. He had been deeply hurt by their abandonment, more so then even Jack realized. And with good reason, he justified as he saw Daniel's patience rewarded with the exposure of a third pot. No wonder Daniel believed he had to grieve for Sha're in silence and isolation. And that nonsense with Ke'ra.... Well, one problem at a time. Daniel straightened.

"Well, this is a significant find. Maybe this will be enough to convince the property owners not to sell and allow a full scale intensive archeological excavation be conducted."

"Sounds like a challenge for Doctor Jackson, the champion of lost causes." Jack grinned at the annoyed look Daniel favored him with. "That why you chose this particular dig to set up camp? Pity for the grad student trying to prove his point against all odds?"

"I know how insurmountable it is to prove an archeological theory that goes against the established archeological community's unyielding refusal to be open to other possibilities."

Jack patted Daniel on the small of his back. "You're a good man, Daniel. We need your unique perspective at the SGC, no matter how much grief we give you about it sometimes." At Daniel's warning look, Jack leaned back his hands raised. "Okay, not influencing, I swear. I'd better go fetch the grad student so the two of you can go into archeological ecstasy or whatever you do when you find....artifacts." Jack smiled, then it turned into a grimace as his stiff, aching knees protested his upward movement.

"Knees?" Daniel asked, concerned.

"Oh, yeah," Jack bit out between clenched teeth as he bent over at the waist. "Hey, a little Icy Hot, and lots of massaging, Advil, TLC, and a heaping bowl of my special camper's chili and I'll be good as new. Ready to dig up more bones tomorrow, you wait and see."

"Well, we won't be excavating the bones."

"We won't?" Jack asked, straightening to stand. "Why not?"

"It's a Native American burial. There are procedures we need to follow. Tribal representatives need to be contacted, the proper authorities have to be notified. This site has suddenly become very significant. We can document what we've," at Jack's frowning look, Daniel amended, "what you've uncovered but no more. Tomorrow we'll start excavating a new trench."

"Oh, gotcha."

Daniel watched, concerned as Jack climbed out of the trench and painfully stood again. "Thought you were now a grave robber?" he asked peering upward.

"Well...yeah," Jack answered rubbing his right knee.

"Well, your conscious should be clear. You're not."

"Ahh that's a relief." Jack turned slowly. "Hey, Jeff!" he yelled. Daniel watched as Jack waved his left arm. "Come over here. Daniel has something to show you." Jack peered down into the pit, smiling. "Have fun, kids."

Jack limped from Daniel's view away from the pit toward their encampment. As he waited for Jeff to arrive, Daniel marveled again at the man who was Jack O'Neill. Only a true friend would suffer what Jack had endured the past three days to help another friend in need. Despite some rough patches, Daniel thanked the fates for bringing Jack into his life. Jeff's arrival, signaled by the young student sliding into the trench and coming to kneel beside Daniel, momentarily shelved his contemplation of friendship. Smiling, Daniel pointed to the uncovered objects. The air of the site was suddenly rent by loud renditions of "Yeha!!!" Jack had been right, Daniel thought smiling at Jeff's outburst. Archeological ecstasy.

****

****

The discussion shared around the campfire that evening revolved around only one topic: the discovery. Jeff and Sheila were giddy with the realization of what they had found. All their searching had lead to success against stacked odds, the unbending scientific community and even the doubts of doctoral professors. The two youngsters were so excited they could hardly sit still long enough to eat. Of course, between their hugging and laughter, Jeff constantly thanked Jack for making the discovery. Jack, of course, Daniel noted, sat at the fire's edge with a shit eating smile on his face basking in the adulation. Daniel emptied his mug of coffee and stood to pour more. Jeff and Sheila, blankets in hand and full of boundless energy in desperate need of release, finally walked quickly from their camp into the fading sunlight toward the nearby bluff. Daniel observed Jack as the older man watched the two college students departure with a definite frowning paternalistic cast to his lean face.

"Should they be going out there away from camp every night?" he asked no one in particular.

Coffee refreshed, Daniel reclaimed his camp stool. "They'll be okay, Jack," he chided. Ever since he had confided in Jack earlier, his aloofness with his friends had vanished and they were quickly re-establishing their companionable familiarity with each other. However, Daniel reminded himself, this in no way was influencing his decision whether or not to resign from the SGC. "They're just around the bluff."

"What are they doing, sight seeing?"

"No. They're celebrating." Probably in the same manner Sha're and I did the night after I found the map room on Abydos. It was a long and exhausting night. But very, very pleasurable. Surprisingly, recalling this memory did not bring sorrow, but contentment of remembering the good times he and Sha're had shared as husband and wife.

"Celebrating?" Jack repeated, his question returning Daniel to the present time.

"You know.... celebrating," Daniel repeated, emphasizing the word.

Realization dawned on Jack's face. "So, that's what that screaming's been every evening? I thought is was a hawk or a cougar."

Daniel smiled. No need to tell Jack he had thought the same thing when he first set up camp. That is, until the second evening. He'd been out wandering, searching for a place to sit and contemplate when he had unintentionally spied the two young lovers naked and passionately making bunnies. Slightly embarrassed, Daniel had made a discrete and hasty retreat. "Jack, give them a break. They're college students. They're young."

"Exactly my point, Daniel. They need a chaperone. Their hormones are raging," Jack huffed, his hands now busy massaging both of his knees.

"Jack, ease up on the parental thing, okay?" Daniel chided sipping his coffee.

"Daniel. I have the satellite scans downloaded," Sam called from under the canvas tarp. " We can look at the data whenever you're ready."

"Let's do it now, Sam," Daniel decided, standing. A stiff jointed Jack followed him. Teal'c remained where he stood, looking out to the darkening desert, as if on sentry duty. Daniel reminded himself to remind Teal'c he was on vacation and to relax.

Daniel sat on the metal bench beside Sam as she tapped on the keyboard. Jack chose to remain standing.

"Whatcha doin'?" Jack asked.

"Deciding the best places to dig," Daniel answered watching the monitor as Sam enlarged their location on the aerial survey scan. "Since we found," Jack cleared his throat, "since you found," Daniel amended, "the first grave, we can assume there are others. We need to regrid and redirect our efforts. We only have a week before this land is sold. Although that may be temporarily on hold now depending on what the tribal representatives want to do. Sam, maybe you and Teal'c would like to pair up tomorrow and do some excavating. Teal'c needs to be reminded he's on vacation not in battle.''

"Right, Daniel and I are a team," Jack reaffirmed. "Besides, I have the knack for finding those bones."

Daniel looked up over his left shoulder toward Jack. "You're going to be insufferable about this aren't you?"

"Oh, yes," Sam answered still working the keyboard. "He'll be crowing about it for weeks all over the base. You wait and see."

An uncomfortable silence surrounded the three friends. "Er,..Daniel, sorry," Sam apologized.

"That's okay. I haven't made my decision yet." Daniel pointed to an area on the monitor. "Let's grid over this area and see what Jeff wants to do in the morning."

Nodding her head in understanding, Sam typed in the necessary commands.

"Jack, why don't you sit it out for the next few days. Your knees..."

"You let me worry about my knees. Besides, I have excavating techniques to teach you." Daniel favored Jack with a "are you serious" look. Jack remained smug, matching Daniel look for look.

"O'Neill."

"What is it Teal'c?"

"I wish to patrol our perimeter. Perhaps you would join me."

"Sure, Teal'c. You kids gonna be okay?"

"We'll be fine, sir."

"Don't bother Jeff and Sheila. Give them their privacy," Daniel warned.

"Hey, I was young once," Jack quipped as he and Teal'c slowly moved into the fading darkness outside the kerosene lamp's range of illumination.

"I know the colonel doesn't show it, but he's very excited about finding those pots today," Sam said with obvious sarcasm.

"I know," Daniel agreed, jotting some notes on a pad.

"He was relieved, we all were, when we found you, too."

Daniel ceased his writing and looked at Sam. "Yeah....just how did you guys find me? I thought I covered my tracks."

"You did. The colonel won't tell you but he was very impressed. Once we found out you had taken Catherine's Blazer and you hadn't used your passport, we assumed you were nearby. Actually, it's your fault we found you."

"Mine? How?"

"You seem to leave a lasting impression wherever you go, Daniel, whether it's here on earth or off world. One of the park employees at the visitor's center remembered you." Grinning Sam leaned backward balancing her weight on the metal bench. "She said she especially remembered your cute butt."

"SAM!" Daniel exclaimed, his face reddening in embarrassment the affect visible in the soft glow of the lamp.

"Well, she's right, you know, about your cute butt," Sam said straightening. "I've noticed it myself. So have all the females at the base."

"SAM!" Daniel exclaimed again, his embarrassment heightened.

She laughed drawing him into a sisterly hug, which Daniel warmly returned. "I'm teasing," she reassured him. Sam loosened her hug and leaned away, sobering. "Daniel I'd be very unhappy if you decided to leave the program. I'd miss you terribly," she confessed her blue eyes wide with emotion. "I know," she said ending her hug, "no undue influence. But I wanted you to know."

"I'd miss you, too, Sam," Daniel confessed. "I'd miss all of you. But I still haven't made my decision." Daniel looked wistful. "I once told you and Jack I'd planned on getting on with my life by going on a dig."

Sam's forehead wrinkled, puzzled. "I don't recall."

"It's not important. But, this has been therapeutic for me. I'm enjoying working on this dig. This is the life I was meant to live, the work I intended to fulfill my life. I've really missed it."

The cooling desert air was suddenly rent by a loud, piercing scream.

"Ah, Jeff and Sheila, right on schedule," Daniel identified the noise in a deadpan voice.

"Ahh, celebrating," Sam said understanding. "I like Sheila. She's bright, level headed, down to earth, efficient and is a whiz with computers. We've nearly completed cataloging, labeling, bagging and documenting all the pot shards, and stone points excavated to date."

"She's a lot like you, Sam."

"Yeah, I guess she does remind me of me. She's good for Jeff, too. He's idealistic, driven, compassionate about his work. A lot like you, Daniel," she reciprocated.

"Yeah... a lot like me when I'm not being an idiot." Daniel knew he couldn't hide his self recrimination from Sam.

"Well, no. I confess I was, er, surprised to see you flirting with Ke'ra in the Vyan library." Daniel lowered his gaze, chastised. "But it was also good to see you smile and hear you laugh again. I missed that."

"Maybe, but for all the wrong reasons."

"No," Sam disagreed. "For all the right reasons."

"Sam," Daniel straightened, putting pen to paper once more. "I'd rather we not talk about Ke'ra right now, if you don't mind."

"No, not at all. We have enough research to keep us busy well into the night," she emphasized.

"Then we'd better get to it," Daniel stated, favoring Sam with a mischievous grin. "Keep your eyes on the monitor and off my cute butt if you please."

Sam smiled, playfully swatting his arm before she resumed typing in commands.

****

"SAM!"

From their sentry point near the bluffs, both O'Neill and Teal'c turned to see Daniel and Sam hugging under the tent canopy.

"Ahh, that's good to see," Jack commented. He resumed his visual survey of the cliff bluffs which were facing into the fading rays of the sun. The yellow, orange and red banded sandstone formations began to lose their intense color as the sun sunk lower into the western sky.

Suddenly, Teal'c pointed. "Do you see it, O'Neill?"

There was a flash, then a second flash, as if light were reflecting off a smooth or metallic surface. The two men waited and watched but did not see any additional flashes.

"Yeah. Saw it the first night we were here. Thought I imagined it."

"As did I."

"Well, guess we're being watched."

"Perhaps the plunderers of antiquities the Sheriff described."

Before O'Neill could comment, the air was pierced by a quick, high pitched scream, followed by silence. "Ahh, the kids. Wonder if our friends are getting a free show."

"Should we not inform DanielJackson and the kids of our discovery."

"No, not yet. No need to get everyone upset. We'll tell Carter though, and unpack the weapons." A second yell, this one not as loud or sharp filtered by. "I think the kids have enough on their minds. Daniel, well he's out here tryin' to unload his mind."

"Very, well, O'Neill. I will stand watch this night."

"Okay, sounds like a plan. And my knees thank you for volunteering."

"Did not DanielJackson advise you to cease excavating and rest your knees."

"Yeah, but he began to open up to me today, Teal'c. Tell me what's been bothering him. I don't want to lose this opportunity. Daniel needs to talk and I'm gonna be at his side ready to listen. Even if it kills my knees."

****

Sam stretched her back then rolled her shoulders. This metal field bench was certainly not the most comfortable device for extended sitting she mused. She watched Daniel continue writing his notes and suggestions for dig locations. It would be a few more minutes before she would enter the commands to shift the view on the laptop screen to the next satellite download. Out of habit, she rested her right hand on Daniel's left shoulder, feeling comfortable with the familiar sisterly gesture of support. Daniel tilted his head in her direction, grinning.

"Hey."

"Hey," she responded. "So, Daniel, I'm not very knowledgeable about ancient Native American culture. What exactly is Jeff hoping to find?"

"Well, this isn't my area of expertise, but the Anasazi, the Navaho called them "the Ancient Ones," are believed to have first appeared in the American Southwest during the time of Christ."

"Hmm, the Ancient Ones. Any possible relation to our Ancients, the gate builders?"

Daniel stopped writing and looked at Sam. "Probably not. But the entire Anasazi people, the cliff dwellers of Mesa Verde, simply vanished around 1300 AD."

"Vanished? How? Disease? Famine? War?"

"Those are the conventional archeological theories. But mass burials haven't been found to support the disease or warfare theory. Mass migration due to famine or invasion is possible, but where did they go? No cliff dwelling structures dated beyond 1300 AD have been found. It's a mystery."

"You don't think possibly..."

"That's a stretch, Sam. But we've encountered other vanished ancient human cultures whose ancestors were taken from Earth through the Stargate."

"Maybe we just haven't gated to their planet yet," Sam offered. The moment she said it, Sam knew she'd erred. "Sorry," she apologized. "Not influencing, I swear. Just habit."

"I know," Daniel graciously accepted her apology. "Anyway, the burial discovery here is important because the pots Jack and I saw today have the distinctive black and white design found at Mesa Verde as well as tri-color red, black and white commonly found at sites in Utah."

"And not a cliff dwelling in sight," Sam added.

"Exactly."

"Well," Sam declared, tapping once more on the keyboard. "Let's do all we can to help Jeff succeed." And you too, Daniel she thought.

****

Daniel continued to dig vigorously, removing trowelfuls of dirt and sand from this new excavation pit and dumping them into one of the two labeled buckets next to his knees. He strove to find solace and comfort in the familiar, habitual action and, unfortunately today was not succeeding. As he'd told Sam the previous evening, he had correctly chosen this as a means to re-find himself. Each day working on the dig in the relative isolation of this desert location was drawing him closer and closer to rediscovering the man he once was. Being here had given him the time and solitude to think on all the things he told General Hammond he needed to contemplate. The Daniel he wanted to be again was still here, just buried under the weight of all the tragic events he had endured in the past year.

Now, there's an apt metaphor Daniel thought.

He had grieved for Sha're and had begrudgingly seen the wisdom of Jack telling him she had forgiven him so he should forgive himself. He had finally vented the last vestiges of the anger and hurt he felt towards his friends for their behavior during the Machello incident. He was not a vindictive man and they were truly sorry. As Jack said, they were in pain, too. So only the issue of Ke'ra and his behavior around her remained to be addressed. For the first time since his arrival, Daniel had gotten little sleep last night, tossing and turning, his mind restless, swirling around visions of Ke'ra. In his haunted dreams, Ke'ra, or rather Linnea, did as she threatened, breaking the vials and releasing the poisonous gas killing everyone in the SGC. And it was all his fault. His fault. Because he had been such a fool.

So, what had all that nonsense with Ke'ra been, anyway? I behaved like a total jerk. God, what was I thinking? Well, I wasn't thinking, was I? And there's the problem. I allowed my hormones to overrun my logic. Because if I had my wits about me, I wouldn't have been touching her, holding her hands, caressing her face and I certainly wouldn't have kissed her. My God, I actually kissed her!! So what if she was the aggressor, I'd certainly been broadcasting all the right signals. I even became aroused. At least I had the sense to leave the room before we....And what had I been doing in the Vyan library, giggling and flirting like an adolescent experiencing his first crush. And Sha're only deceased a few weeks. I didn't even have the decency to keep all of this, whatever, private. Instead, I flaunted it in clear view of my friends and everyone else at the SGC who happened to be looking. I even bought her flowers!! God, what an idiot!!

"Want to talk about it?"

Daniel froze at the sound of Jack's invitation. "Talk about what?" he ventured.

"About you and Ke'ra. You are thinking about her, aren't you? Because your trowel's been hitting the ground like you're pissed with the dirt."

"I'm okay," Daniel quickly stated.

"Right," Jack countered smoothly.

Daniel jammed the tip of the trowel into the granular dirt and sat on his folded legs, breathing hard. Instinctively, he wrapped his arms tightly across his chest.

"That's not being okay," Jack commented referring to Daniel's self protection gesture. "C'mon, let it go. Talk to me, Danny."

"I betrayed Sha're."

"Cos you were, what, attracted to Ke'ra?"

"Yes."

"Did you sleep with her?"

The bluntness of the question startled Daniel. His head jerked and he turned to focus his displeased gaze on Jack. Jack merely sat, cross-legged, countering Daniel's blue eyed displeasure with an air of calm anticipation.

"No."

"Did you want to sleep with her?"

Daniel felt the heat rising and his face color with embarrassment.

"Okay," Jack acknowledged, seeing the physical reaction. "Question answered. You thought about it, but didn't follow through. Well, then, you didn't betray Sha're. Just like you didn't betray her with Shyla or Hathor."

Daniel felt his face blanch at the mention of the two women who had controlled, manipulated and, in Hathor's case, raped him.

A comforting hand came to rest on one tense shoulder. "Daniel, you're a young, healthy male who has urges. If I was you, I'd be more worried if you felt nothing at all around attractive women. Or, have you decided to be a monk the rest of your life?"

Daniel did not answer, thinking on what Jack, and only Jack had the nerve to ask him.

"Ahh, I see," Jack continued, nodding his head. "Look, if I'm outta line here, feel free to hit me. But, Daniel, the blunt reality is, Sha're is gone."

Daniel felt his sorrow emerge, stinging his eyes, and he looked away from Jack. The older man continued speaking.

"Feeling attracted to another woman is not a betrayal, not any more. It's possible, in the future, you may find another woman you're going to have strong, loving feelings for. Ke'ra was a very intelligent, attractive, and until we found out who she really was, compassionate woman. Who was also a damsel in distress. All the attributes that appeal to you. She also happened to be the Destroyer of Worlds. The timing was definitely wrong. Okay, I admit we were all surprised at how possessive you became. It was intense, even for you."

"Possessive?" Daniel snapped, his voice tinged with anger and self loathing. "Is that what you call it? I yelled at you and belittled Teal'c, and for what? I ignored your warning, you told me she would be dangerous if Linnea emerged. But I didn't listen. You said if she remembered who she was, I'd be the first to go," Daniel quieted, his burst of self-recrimination spent. "And you were right," he admitted softly.

"Sometimes, I do make the right call, Daniel," Jack conceded.

Daniel noticed the expected bragging tone to Jack's words was absent.

"And, yes, you were most definitely out of line in the briefing room. It's good to hear you realize that. You were confused but amid the confusion you were still Daniel, champion of lost causes. Daniel the humanitarian, the moralist, Daniel the believer in solving problems in a peaceful and humane way if one can be found. And you were right. Violence doesn't always solve problems."

"Maybe. But because I let my, er, whatever, rule my head, I placed everyone's lives in jeopardy," Daniel continued, unwilling to cease punishing himself for his bad behavior. "What if Linnea had broken those vials?"

"Yeah, that would have been nasty. I'd have gotten no satisfaction in being right, by the way, if she had killed you or even tried to. And I was less than pleased you placed yourself between my gun and her."

"You would have shot her."

"If she was breaking those vials, you're damn right."

"And shot me, too?"

"Let's just say I'm glad it didn't come to that." Jack paused. "Look, Daniel. You need to realize that despite having some personal issues, you were basically still being who you are. And that's not a bad thing."

Daniel remained silent. Jack resumed his own digging. The metallic trowel made a familiar scraping sound. Jack sat back and clenched his fists in a celebratory manner. "So, the master strikes again. Yes!!" Jack crowed.

"Don't get so full of yourself, Jack," Daniel chided. Reigning in his emotions, and privately happy to be distracted from the issue of Ke'ra, he leaned over to gently brush and scrape away the clinging soil. As on the previous day, objects began to slowly emerge from hundreds of years of seclusion.

"I hate to bring a dose of reality here, but you know we're not out here alone," Jack casually commented as he watched Daniel work.

Daniel grinned. Jack had instinctually known the subject of Ke'ra was now closed. "Oh, I know," Daniel confessed as he brushed away more of the sandy dirt to reveal part of a clavicle bone and some beads loosened from the sinew that no longer existed. "We have been since the second day I arrived here."

"You knew?" Jack was incredulous.

"Yes. Another reason why I decided this was the dig I should work on. Jeff and Sheila were out here alone, vulnerable. Any thing could happen to them."

"Geez, Daniel. You don't even have your gun with you? How were you going to protect them?"

"Well, I..."

"Yeah, why do I even bother to ask. You see, Daniel, you've just proven my point. Have you told the sheriff about this?"

"Tell him what? I've seen glints in the hills. What good would that do."

"Do you even have a concept of the danger you've put yourself into here?"

"And gate travel isn't dangerous?" Daniel countered. "Besides, now that you, Sam and Teal'c are here, I just assumed you'd handle the problem if one arose."

"Ahhhh," Jack said annoyed, then he patted the top of Daniel's bandana covered head. "You do frustrate me, Doctor Jackson, champion of lost causes. Have you told the kids?"

"No. I didn't see any need to alarm them. It could be nothing."

"Yeah, or it could be a worse case scenario. Okay, starting tonight, we're going on a sentry rotation. You're moving out of the Blazer and sharing the tent with me." Jack had now gone into full fledged Colonel 'I'm in charge' O'Neill mode.

At this declaration, Daniel ceased his digging and straightened. "Is that necessary?"

"Damn right it is. You just gave me the okay to make it necessary. How else am I gonna keep an eye on you? And you're carrying a gun."

Daniel frowned, expressing his displeasure, then the frown faded as he realized the necessity. Jack was absolutely correct. "Let's not tell Jeff and Sheila unless we have to, okay?"

Jack grimaced then nodded his head in agreement. "Okay. As long as they can be relied on to do as they're told."

"They can."

"That'll be the day," Jack stated wryly. "I'll go get Jeff. I want to hear that "Yeha" again. Puts Hammond's version to shame." He climbed from the pit and walked away.

Daniel remained kneeling thinking over their discussion. Maybe Jack was right. Even when he was distracted, he still hung onto his core beliefs. Apparently, his friends were willing to forgive his actions concerning Ke'ra. He had been a fool but if you don't learn from your mistakes you never learn anything. He conceded, Ke'ra's and the Vyans' predicament had appealed to his humanistic side. His offer of assistance was true and justified. Because he had not dealt with many past issues, especially the death of Sha're, he had become blinded to what was really happening with Ke'ra. Sha're would have understood because with good intentions he was acting as the man she had fallen in love with.

****

****

Daniel leaned backward pressing his back against the cooling face of the sandstone bluff. Closing his eyes, he basked in the heat of the setting sun on his face. He let his thoughts wander his memory calling forth one particular Abydos evening. Daniel grinned as he easily visualized Sha're silhouetted before him, the rays of the Abydonian sun highlighting her dark hair. She was smiling seductively at him as she tended to their small pit fire, her dark eyes twinkling with love only for him. Daniel sighed, and opened his eyes, the memory fading but not the feeling of contentment it had conjured. Some tears trickled down his stubbled face which he brushed away. The memory of Sha're had brought joy and warmth, not sadness and the pain of loss. What had Sam told him in the dream message Sha're had sent him, it was healthy to hold on to those good memories. He could see the rightness of that now. Taking up his journal and pen, he supposed this was a positive step forward.

Poised to write, Daniel canted his head to the left, listening. No, not time to write he told himself. Time to take a positive step forward in another matter and enact another lesson from the dream.

"Teal'c, no need to stand and keep watch. Please, come and join me," he invited, turning his head so he could watch the Jaffa approach.

Teal'c towered over the seated archeologist, bowing his boonie covered head in a respectful greeting. "I did not wish to intrude on your privacy, DanielJackson," he stated straightening.

"You, Sam and Jack already did that when you came here. Please, sit down." Daniel indicated the area to his left with a tilt of his head.

Teal'c complied, gracefully lowering and positioning his body into a meditative cross-legged pose. "Has our presence so disturbed you, DanielJackson?"

"I was angry when you first arrived. Apparently the military has as much difficulty with the concept of privacy as it does with civilian. Now, I'm very glad you're here. Jeff and Sheila were definitely in over their heads."

Teal'c's ebony skinned face grimaced in bewilderment. "I am unfamiliar with this phrase, DanielJackson."

"They really needed help. Which you, Jack and Sam have provided."

"As have you, DanielJackson."

"No, they're actually helping me." Daniel inhaled deeply of the cooling arid, desert air. Two-thirds of the sun's orb had fallen below the distant horizon and dusk was settling over the desert landscape. "I like to sit here in the evening and watch the sunset. See how the shifting light alters the colonization of the sandstone cliffs? It reminds me of Abydos, of the evenings Sha're and I would sit on the cliffs overlooking the city, watch the sunset."

"The view is most pleasing to the eye," Teal'c agreed.

"Teal'c," Daniel began, paused, then resumed, "I owe you an apology for my behavior toward you while Ke'ra was on the base. I had no right to say what I did. My words were cruel, hurtful and unforgivable. And the worse thing is they were deliberate. I allowed my anger to lash out at you because you killed Sha're. I'm truly sorry. I know I hurt you. I saw it in your eyes."

"You were experiencing much pain at the time, DanielJackson. I understood."

"That's no excuse, Teal'c," Daniel denied. "But, I thank you for offering your understanding."

"You are also forgiven, DanielJackson."

The two friends sat in silence listening to the increasing crescendo of the desert night sounds and feeling the cooling breezes waft past them.

"Sha're asked me to forgive you, Teal'c," Daniel said breaking the peaceful silence. "I do forgive you. You did the right thing, you acted correctly. She was helpless, she couldn't stop Ammunet from killing me. As much as I feel the pain of her death, she's free now, at peace. She's no longer suffering. I'm only now realizing how fortunate I am to have such a friend who was willing to do what had to be done knowing what it would cost you. I've never told you how much I value your friendship."

Daniel turned to look at Teal'c's profile. The light was fading quickly, but he saw the depth of emotions his words evoked in the Jaffa. Teal'c faced him, his ebony hued visage softened by a grin, his dark eyes expressing great joy and gratitude. He respectfully tilted his head in acceptance.

"It is I, who am fortunate, DanielJackson, to consider one such as yourself my friend. I accept your forgiveness on Sha're's behalf because you offer it and such a gift should not be refused." The grin faded and the familiar stern expression returned. "But I will never be free of the sorrow my actions inflicted upon you. It is a burden I will carry with me always."

"Well, you do what you believe you must," Daniel conceded. He'd learned by now that arguing with Teal'c about Jaffa concepts of honor and loyalty was impossible. Best to just let it be. And best for now to not reveal Sha're had also asked for Teal'c to assist Daniel in his search for the Harsesis. It could imply he was remaining with the SGC and Daniel did not want to give his friend false hope.

"I would also know the great sorrow of losing your friendship if you were to leave the SGC, DanielJackson."

Can Teal'c also read my mind? Daniel thought, hoping the Jaffa hadn't seen his reaction to the question. "I haven't decided to leave," Daniel assured.

"Then you are remaining."

"Now, I didn't say that either." Daniel raised a hand to indicate silence. "Let's just say I'm headed in the right direction. For now, why don't we just enjoy the sunset, okay?"

"As you wish."

****

Teal'c stood ramrod straight, alert, his form cloaked by the darkness of the desert night. From his concealed vantage point, he observed how the bright Halogen bulbs, powered by the soft rumbling generator, illuminated the dig site in harsh white light. His keen sense of hearing and sight were attuned to detecting anything which sounded threatening. He knew O'Neill and Major Carter were asleep in their separate tents, their sentry duty scheduled to begin in a few hours. The kids had also returned to the vehicle O'Neill had informed him was referred to as a motor home. DanielJackson was asleep, now sharing the tent with O'Neill. Teal'c was pleased SG-1 was once again interacting as they had in the past. He believed DanielJackson would not be lost to them.

The scraping sound was faint, but drew his attention in the direction of the unseen generator. Teal'c tensed. Suddenly, the lights winked out and the site was instantly blanketed in darkness. Not even the stars blazing overhead offered illumination.

Teal'c heard a sound to his left. He crouched, his gun aimed and ready.

"Teal'c, it's me, O'Neill." The whispered identification was barely heard but Teal'c could sense the human's physical presence. "Something woke me. Then the lights went out."

"It appears the plunderers have made their move, O'Neill," Teal'c stated, his voice equally wispy.

"Ya think? Can you tell how many?"

"I believe there are three. One is by the generator, two others are near the tents."

"You are good," O'Neill praised, his whispered voice barely audible. "Okay, I'll take the one by the generator and meet you at the tents. Hopefully, the kids and Daniel will sleep through the whole thing. Be careful."

Orders given, Teal'c sensed O'Neill noiselessly move away. Teal'c followed, silently creeping toward their sleeping tents. He stealthily arrived at the three small tents when the air was filled with a hoarse shout, followed by "Damnit!! The bitch bit me!!" Focusing on the source of the commotion, Teal'c hurried to Major Carter's tent. The muffled sounds of a struggle could be heard within. Then the tent collapsed as two entwined bodies rolled free of the canvas material. Teal'c could discern the figure of Major Carter looming above her assailant, who was pressed onto the sandy ground stomach first, his hands wrenched behind him as she pinned them to his back with one knee.

"Major Carter, are you in need of assistance?"

"No, I got it under control," she huffed now tying her assailant's hands with cord from the fallen tent.

"You bit me you bitch!!" the pinned man spat, wriggling.

"Sam? What's going on?" This query came from Daniel as he emerged from a second tent, carrying a flashlight in one hand.

"Duck, DanielJackson!!" Teal'c's warning shout echoed in the wake of the report of a rifle.

Immediately, Daniel tossed the flashlight and dove from the tent entrance, flopping onto the ground, with a noticeable "ooph".

Jack's voice issued from the darkness. "Teal'c, I could use your help!"

"Remain where you are, DanielJackson!" Teal'c advised before he departed to assist O'Neill.

The stupefied archeologist remained motionless, sprawled on the ground, squinting his eyes trying to see what was causing all the commotion.

"What's going on?"

Daniel looked toward the source of the querry, to see Jeff's fuzzy form silhouetted in the light emanating from the opened motor home door.

"Jeff, get back inside and stay down!!" Daniel yelled. A second shot exploded followed by the sound of shattering glass. Horrified, Daniel saw Jeff's shadowed form jerk backward into the motor home and heard Sheila shrieking her lover's name.

Knowing the two college students were vulnerable and in need of assistance, Daniel scrambled to his feet and ran to the vehicle and dove inside as a third bullet flew over his head. He fell heavily on top of an unmoving Jeff. Daniel saw the young man's face was covered in blood. He did a quick assessment, found a strong pulse beating and exhaled in relief. He took one of Sheila's blood coated hands into his and squeezed. "Hey, it's okay, he's alive," he assured. She continued weeping but squeezed Daniel's hand to signal she understood.

Daniel got to his knees and peered out the passenger window. He heard some surprised shouts echo in the darkness, then all was silent. As he watched and tried to decide what to do, he heard the rumbling of the generator and the site was bathed in brilliant light. He saw Sam straddling a bound man her pistol aimed at his head. Teal'c and Jack appeared, each dragging a body which they unceremoniously dumped by Sam's captive. As Teal'c stood guard with armed pistol pointed, Jack quickly bound the unmoving men's hands and feet. Task completed, he pulled each of the attackers to a sitting position.

"Sam, we need help here!" Daniel called returning his attention to Jeff. Sam rushed to offer her first aid assistance.

"You threatened the life of DanielJackson and his kids." Teal'c declared, looming closer to the three bound, seated men. Two of them leaned away, pure terror on their faces. "It is therefore within my rights to slowly dismember and disembowel you." The men's eyes went as wide as saucers and all the blood drained from their faces. Teal'c straightened. "Remain silent or I shall do so. I shall not warn you again."

"I'll leave this scum in your capable hands, Teal'c. " Jack slapped the Jaffa's broad back and walked over to the motor home. Sam was busy dabbing the blood oozing from the cuts on a now conscious Jeff's face. Flying glass when the rifle bullet had shattered the motor home's window had caused the wounds. "Carter?"

"He'll be fine, sir. Nothing serious. No glass shards in the skin. He may need a few stitches."

"Well, that's good to hear. Jeff, did I or did I not clearly hear Daniel yelling at you and Sheila to stay down and inside the motor home?"

"Yes, but I..."

"Don't try to explain it," Jack cut the graduate student off before turning his attention and his ire to Daniel. "And didn't I hear, er, Murray, tell you to duck and stay on the ground? What is it with archeologists and not following orders? Is it a genetic defect, what?"

Daniel ducked his head to avoid Jack's admonishing glare. "I'll go call the sheriff's office and report the assault," he muttered hurrying toward the supply tent and their mobile phones.

Jack shook his head. "Scientists," he huffed and went over to rejoin Teal'c and guard their attackers.

****

The eastern sky was pinkening the predawn hours of the new day. Sheriff Brady, in his SUV, lead the four vehicle caravan over the roadless land, steering toward the mushroom shaped area of illumination: the archeological dig. Doctor Jackson's garbled phone message had been brief but informative. Looters had attacked and attempted to either kill or scare off the six member crew. He just thanked the good lord the two grad students hadn't been out here defenseless and alone.

The convoy consisted of two of his deputies, two State Troopers and an ambulance from Cortez General Hospital. Thankfully, it appeared what injuries incurred were minor. But it never hurt to error on the side of caution.

When he arrived at the outer fringes of the site, Brady parked behind the Blazer. He exited and did a quick survey of the scene. Bright lights illuminated the motor home interior. He could see Doctor Jackson and Sheila sitting behind the driver's seat apparently tending to a wounded Jeff. The second grouping of people consisted of Colonel O'Neill and company standing guard over three trussed up figures huddled together on the ground. He pointed the disembarking ambulance attendants to the motor home before he strode toward the second group. One of the grubby, disheveled, looters saw him and began babbling hysterically.

"Sheriff! Sheriff! You have ta protect us! That bitch," he jerked his head to Major Carter, "bit me! And the ape," the head jerked toward the impassive Murray, "threatened to disembowel us!" he whined.

"Hey," O'Neill barked, giving the speaker an indelicate shove in the back with his booted foot, "Carter's up to date on her shots, right Carter?"

"Yes, sir. Next time you'll know to knock before entering a lady's tent," she added.

Brady noticed her pointed pistol never wavered.

"And Murray here," O'Neill continued as he draped a friendly arm across Teal'c's broad shoulders, "is just a big teddy bear. Aren't you, Murray?"

"I am," Murray concurred, his deep voice rumbling.

"Glad you're here, Sheriff," O'Neill said stepping away from the Jaffa. "This scum is all yours."

"I'm equally glad to take them off your hands, Colonel." Brady waved his two deputies forward. They began to escort the three looters, one by one, to the waiting police cars, reciting their rights as they did so.

"We also flagged evidence for you, Sheriff," O'Neill informed turning to point at several nearby locations. "There, and there. We didn't touch anything."

"I appreciate that, Colonel." Brady waved the two waiting State Troopers to the indicated areas so they could photograph, document and gather the evidence.

Approximately forty minutes later, the first rays of the morning sun were slanting over the distant mesa. Brady had been questioning the three soldiers and jotting notes in his log book. Questioning completed, he closed the notebook and pocketed it. The State Troopers drove away with one of the prisoners and the bagged evidence.

"I can' t thank you folks enough," Brady offered watching as his deputies and the two remaining prisoners departed in the second police car. "Those three have been suspected of large scale looting of archeological sites all over the Southwest and into Mexico. We just don't have the manpower or the resources to catch them in the act. Until now. Never known them to be violent though."

"Well, as the cliche goes, there's a first time for everything," O'Neill quipped. "Besides, we owed you a favor for finding our runaway archeologist."

As a group, the four directed their attention to the idling ambulance. They saw Jeff gingerly shaking his head and animatedly refusing to allow the attendants to assist him into the ambulance. They could hear Sheila's and Daniel's voices but couldn't understand their words.

"Colonel," the sheriff began, "it's probably none of my business, but I did overhear your conversation with Doctor Jackson when I located him. I'm sorry to hear of the loss of his wife. Is he going to be alright?"

"Yeah, he'll be okay. Thanks for your concern."

"He seems like a decent enough fellow," Brady continued.

"He's the best," Major Carter emphatically stated.

"Indeed," Murray seconded.

The sheriff studied the three officers. "Just who are you folks anyway?" he asked employing his natural inclination to investigate anything unusual. And these four people fit his definition of unusual.

"Who? Us?" O'Neill asked, the epitome of innocence and charm. "We told you, we're Daniel's friends."

"Ah huh," Brady said. He recognized a dodge when he heard one. "What exactly do you folks work on up there in Cheyenne Mountain?"

"Deep space radar telemetry," Major Carter answered by rote.

Brady's brow furrowed under his cowboy hat. "Deep....space...."

"Radar telemetry," Murray completed.

"Why would an archeologist be involved with something like that?"

No immediate answer to his question was forthcoming. The ambulance engine roared and the four watched it drive away, leaving Daniel standing alone in its dusty wake. He turned and began to nimbly walk toward them.

"Well, sometimes we come across ancient radio signals," O'Neill finally supplied in answer to the sheriff's query. "Right, Daniel?" he directed to the archeologist.

"What?" Daniel responded, totally bewildered.

It was only now Brady realized the archeologist was dressed in a T-shirt and sweat pants, his short hair disheveled, minus his glasses and shoes looking a lot like his teenaged son, whereas the doctor's three companions were all garbed in tan T-shirts, jeans and boots.

"Exactly," O'Neill stated. "Any more questions, Sheriff?" His tone suggested this line of investigation was now closed.

"No, sir," Brady surrendered. "I know a smoke screen when I see one."

Satisfied, O'Neill smiled. "So, Daniel, what's with Jeff and the ambulance?"

"Oh, um, he refused to be taken to the hospital despite needing stitches."

"Fancy that. An archeology student who hates hospitals."

Brady didn't miss the withering glare the doctor directed toward the smirking colonel.

"He relented only after I assured him I'd pay the medical bills and promised we'd keep the site secure until he returned," Daniel finally explained.

"I'd appreciate that as well," Brady voiced. "I'm spread pretty thin manpower wise. And you folks seem to be able to take care of yourselves."

"Not a problem, Sheriff. Glad to help. Anything else?" O'Neill inquired.

"No. I'll need to contact you folks for the trial. I'm sure you'll all be subpoenaed."

"Just tell us when and where and we'll be there," the colonel guaranteed.

"Well, I'll be seeing you folks." Brady shook all their hands. "Thanks for your help."

He began to walk to his SUV but heard O'Neill behind him snapping out orders.

"Okay, campers time to start a new day. Daniel, glasses and shoes. Carter, we'd better get the coffee brewing. Daniel looks like he's already gone into serious caffeine withdrawal. Murray, well, you and I can stand here and look imposing."

Chuckling, Brady slid into his vehicle and drove away.

****

****

Daniel identified the approaching footsteps as Jack's before he saw the older man creep into his peripheral view. He continued to look westward, once again watching the sunset. Sha're's framed photograph rested on his jean covered thighs.

"Mind some company?" Jack asked, hovering just out of Daniel's line of sight.

Daniel pursed his lips thinking, then nodded. "Sure."

"Great."

Grunting with the effort, Jack lowered himself to the sandy ground splaying his legs out before him.

"Jack."

"Ah ahh," Jack interrupted. "No lecture about my knees. I didn't come here for that. I brought you a beer instead." He held forth one of the two brown bottles, the condensation already dripping from the glass.

"Thanks," Daniel said as he accepted the offered bottle. "Actually I was going to thank you for your help last night."

"Part of the job description. All things considered, I guess it's a good thing we intruded on your privacy, don't you think?" Jack twisted off the lid of his own bottle and took a long drink of the foamy liquid.

"Are we celebrating?" Daniel asked, to avoid commenting on Jack's observation, taking a smaller swallow of beer from his own bottle.

"Depends. Can't two guys, two friends as it were, just sit around and share a beer or two?"

"Sure."

With his bottle, Jack pointed toward Sha're's glass covered photograph. "I remember when Brown took that photograph. She was about to go off with the other women and prepare the welcoming feast," he commented.

"Yeah, while the sandstorm was knocking at the front gates."

"I think she already had a thing for you by then. So," Jack ventured, "have you rediscovered the man Sha're fell in love with?"

"I have," Daniel answered with conviction. He held the photograph up with his free hand. "Oddly enough, he was never gone, just...lost for a time."

"Oh, well, I could've told you that. But you'd probably not believe me."

"True."

"Hey," Jack countered, pouting.

Daniel chuckled and took another sip of his beer before sliding the photograph into the canvas bag at his side. "So did you really come out here to share a beer or did you just want to escape the insanity at the site."

"Not that I don' t usually enjoy your company, Danny, but the place is crawling with police, tribal elders, scientists, professors, and scientist wanna bes. And you know how I feel about scientists," he added knowingly, chugging more of his beer.

"It has become a bit crowded," Daniel agreed. "And noisy."

"That why you hightailed it out here for some peace and quiet?"

"Yeah. This is Jeff's discovery. He should be the center of attention. I'd just be a distraction."

"Hey, what about me? Who was the one who found the bones in the first place?"

"Okay, we'd both be distractions. Besides, now that we've explained everything to Sheriff Brady, I told Jeff and Sheila I want to slip away from here unnoticed. Thus avoiding a lot of other embarrassing questions from the professors and scientist wanna bes, some of whom may recognize me."

"Ahh about that," Jack said, "I talked to Hammond before I came looking for you."

"And...."

"He wants Carter, Teal'c and me back at the base day after tomorrow, with all of our stuff."

"And...." Daniel prompted.

"Look, Danny, I wasn't going to tell you this. But Hammond made it very clear the higher ups won't allow you to just walk away from the program. Hell, you are the program. You know way too much. Top secret and all that."

"Oh. So free country, life, liberty, pursuit of happiness..."

"All over ridden by national security."

"Really. So I never had a real choice."

"Hammond wants to know what you decided anyway."

Daniel didn't answer right away, content to watch the fading rays of the sun slip behind the distant bluffs and finish sipping his beer. He knew Jack would wait for his answer, however long it took. Finally, bottle emptied, he faced his friend. "I'm staying. I made a promise to Sha're I intend to keep. Secondly, someone has to keep you military types from intimidating the new cultures we'll encounter and remind you shooting first isn't always an option. Thirdly, it would be just too much of a bother to go somewhere else and create a new family. So I'm stuck with the dysfunctional one I already have."

Jack smiled, reaching over to ruffle Daniel's hair before resting his arm across the archeologist's back and shoulders. "I always knew you weren't going to leave."

"How could you, Jack? I didn't even know myself until this afternoon."

"Because you never run away from a challenge, that's why."

"Oh," Daniel said, rolling the empty beer bottle between his hands.

"Speaking of which, have you found a way to keep this site from being developed, or destroyed, or whatever?"

"Oh, yes. I spoke to Catherine and Ernest this morning. They have generously offered to purchase the land from the current owners then donate it to the university to use as a teaching site. The tribal elders have agreed, so long as all the burials are marked and left in their natural state. There will be round the clock security so the site will be protected from looters. Most importantly, I think Jeff will earn his doctorate."

"Ah, yes, Doctor Jackson triumphs once again." Jack became silent, sobering. "Sha're would be proud of you."

"I know she would. As long as I remain true to myself, I will be the man she fell in love with."

"I told Hammond about Sha're's baby. He wants to talk to you about him when we get back. Something about issuing standing orders to all SG teams to be on the look out for any news, rumors, so on. You do have more to tell us about him, right?"

"Yeah, Sha're sent me the information through the ribbon device."

"Well, I don't think folks need to know that part. If the information comes from you, that's all that matters."

Jack stood, holding out his hand. "C'mon, we'd better not saddle Carter and Teal'c with all the packing.

Daniel accepted the offered assistance and allowed Jack to haul him to his feet. Together, the two friends walked back to the crowded site.

****

Two days of planning hadn't prepared Daniel for this moment. Pausing outside General Hammond's office, Daniel steeled himself for this first meeting with the base commander since his return. He expected to be meted some form of disciplinary action. He couldn't fanthom what that would entail and the not knowing worried him. Clutching the thin report in his right hand, he rapped on the door with his left. At the general's "Come" he opened the door and entered the office. Standing quietly before the seated general, he waited to be acknowledged.

"Doctor Jackson," Hammond greeted, smiling warmly. "Welcome back. Please," he motioned for Daniel to sit. "I believe we have some unfinished business to attend to," he said, passing Daniel a folder.

Daniel recognized it as being the one Jack had taken from his apartment, the one he had scrawled "Stuff I had to do when I get back" across the flap. He opened it, withdrew his security and ID cards, slipping them into his jacket pocket. Daniel lifted the signed resignation letter. Ripping the document into tiny pieces, he allowing them to fall from his fingers and flutter into the nearby trash can.

"General, I have the information here concerning Sha're's son," Daniel began, offering Hammond the report he had carried. "He's known as a Harcesis, a child of two goa'ulded hosts who possesses all the genetic memory of the Goa'uld. It's very important we do all we can to find him before the System Lords do. Sha're told me Ammunet sent him into hiding with one of her aides to a place called Keb. I'd appreciate it if you could relay this information to all the SG teams."

"Very well, Doctor Jackson." Hammond accepted Daniel's explanation and the report without hesitation. "Let's hope we are successful."

"Yes, sir."

"Did you have enough time to think on all the things you had to sort out?"

"Yes, sir. I did. Thank you for your understanding. I'm going to try to be more diligent in accepting and following the standard operating procedures here at the base." Daniel stood, prepared to depart.

"I'd appreciate that, Doctor Jackson. But don't become too entrenched in how things work. It could get very dull if you did." Hammond smiled. "Consider that an order, son."

"Thank you, sir. I will." Daniel reached for the door knob.

"And Doctor Jackson, my offer is still open."

Daniel hesitated, his hand resting on the door knob. "Sir?" he asked, confused.

"To talk about your wife. If you don't feel it would be an intrusion of your privacy, some day I'd like you tell me of your life on Abydos."

"That's very kind, sir. And, no, I don't consider it an intrusion. In fact, I'd like to share my experiences with you if you agree to reciprocate."

Hammond lifted a framed photograph from his desk. He smiled at it fondly. "Oh, I have stories to tell, Doctor Jackson. Tessa was..." Hammond's rounded face mellowed into that of a man remembering happy times shared with his life mate.

"I understand, sir."

"I know you do, son. Dismissed."

Daniel departed from the office. He stood, thoughtful, before the window overlooking the Stargate. Sha're had been wise. She had understood him so well. His wife knew he had to continue his work here. She knew how much of his existence and self worth was tied to gate travel. So, like Ke'ra, Daniel now had a new future, one, unfortunately and sadly without Sha're. As his dream self had told the dream general, his quest was ended, he'd found his wife, end of story. But now he stood on the brink of beginning a new story, a new future, and a new quest. It may as well begin now.

The first time I saw FIAD and P&P, the episodes were aired one after the other. So, to my way of thinking, they are all one story arc dealing with the death of Sha're in FIAD and how Daniel is not dealing with his grief in P&P. There was one line in FIAD that immediately grabbed my attention. Readers will know which one as they read the story. I also originally wrote this story as a thank you to Scribe for allowing me to write additional scenes to her excellent story, True Foundations. Many thanks to Val for beta assistance and to Joyce and Judy for positive support. Feedback welcome, at the email address listed. All typos and grammar errors are my fault. Enjoy.

© June 4, 2001 The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa'uld and all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.