Jack paced the length of his office, pent up anger mixed with hurt, his current cocktail of choice. It was impossible for him to concentrate on the numerous reports awaiting his attention.
It had been two days since their last visit to Orban. The memory of drawing a purple dog on a wall brought a sad smile to his face. The portrait had been created by an eleven-year-old girl. But Merrin wasn't like any other eleven-year-old girl. Not anymore. Not ever in fact. Her brain had been sucked out. All her knowledge, all her memories had been taken from her and given to the adults of her world. She had been left with the mind of an infant.
A muscle twitched near Jack's right eye, the spasm taking the place of the tears he could not shed for a child who had never been allowed to have fun. Duty to her people had stolen her childhood. Now they had also claimed her right to a normal life. Perhaps, she would never know what it was to work in a job she enjoyed. She would never know how it felt to fall in love, to have children, to be loved in return.
The knowledge that he had contributed to her fate tore at Jack's heart. In his years in Black Ops, he'd done things he didn't want to do. This was the first time he'd ever done something that made him feel dirty.
He was almost grateful for the knock at the door that pulled him from his sour thoughts - until he realized who it would be. It wasn't the first time Daniel had stopped by looking for him. As he had with all the previous visits, Jack ignored the summons. When he tried to save Merrin, Jack had been certain Daniel would be at his side. He'd been wrong. As far as he was concerned, Daniel Jackson belonged on the same list as Benedict Arnold.
"Come on, Jack. I know you're in there."
O'Neill glared at the door as if the twin beams of anger shooting from his eyes could drive the perpetrator away.
"Do you really want to have this discussion through a closed door where half the base can hear us?'
Letting the silence grow, until it felt like it was suffocating him, Jack finally conceded defeat and unlocked the door. Flinging it open, he stood on the threshold, preventing the younger man from entering. "What do we have to discuss?"
"That."
"What?"
"Why you're mad at me." Daniel put a hand on Jack's chest and gently tried to push him into the room.
Digging in his heels, Jack let his eyes convey the fury burning inside him. A grudging respect dampened the fire when the other man bravely stood his ground. "What makes you think I'm mad?"
"Maybe because the few times I've seen you in the last few days you've looked like you wished I was an ant you could crush under your boot."
"You have quite an imagination, Dr. Jackson." Jack turned away. Crossing to his desk, he picked up a report he'd already read and pretended to study it. With any luck, Daniel would take the hint and go away.
"That's another thing."
"What?"
Following Jack into the room, Daniel closed the door behind him. "You haven't called me Dr. Jackson since that first time on Abydos."
"Have too."
"Have not."
"Have."
"Only," Daniel impatiently acquiesced, holding a hand up to quiet his adversary, "when you're introducing me to someone. Jack, if we have any hope of working together again, you're going to have to tell me what's bothering you. And it might as well be now."
As much as he wanted to deny it, Jack knew Daniel was right. But how did you tell someone they'd betrayed you? Daniel could've helped Merrin. He had a way with words. A skill Jack was lacking. Jack was a man of action. Diplomacy was Daniel's forte. Yet, he'd left Jack to carry the burden of trying to save Merrin alone. In the last few years, despite their differences, they'd become friends. What Daniel had done, or to be more precise, hadn't done wasn't Jack's definition of a friend.
"It has to do with Merrin, right?"
Jack wasn't surprised Daniel was so perceptive. Actually, he was more surprised it had taken the archeologist so long to pinpoint the problem.
"Jack, I was on your side," Daniel insisted.
"It didn't look like it from here."
"The Orbanians are sharing their technology with us. The knowledge Merrin had could be used to save her world if the Goa'uld attack. By remaining allies with them, she may even save our world."
"It doesn't matter it cost that little girl a normal life," Jack hissed, throwing down the report in his hand.
"Of course it matters. But it was a life she was willing to sacrifice for her people. Just as you have for yours."
Ignoring the sadness in the blue eyes meeting his, Jack reminded, "I'm not eleven years old."
"Theirs is a different world."
"Newsflash."
Daniel placed his hands on the desk and looked Jack in the eye. "Eleven years of age isn't the same on Orban as it is on Earth."
"Okay, so their days are longer or shorter or whatever."
"That's not what I mean." Daniel pushed away from the desk, his tensed muscles shouting his frustration.
"So you condone what they did?"
"I understand, there's a difference."
"Well I hope I never understand. It would be tantamount to selling my soul."
Daniel lifted his head, shock and sadness on his face. "Do you think that's what I've done?"
"Yes."
"I'm sorry."
Jack tried to disregard the pain clearly visible on Daniel's face. "So am I."
Turning, his shoulders slumped in defeat, Daniel crossed to the door. "I'd better go."
"That's probably a good idea," Jack harshly agreed. Even though he believed every word he'd said, he felt like he'd just hit a defenseless puppy.
***
Wondering if it was still too soon to confront Hammond, Jack tried to hide his nervousness as he knocked on his superior's door. SG-1 had been on stand-down for almost a week. It was time they went on a mission. It was time to heal the wounds.
"Come in."
Jack squared his shoulders and lifted his chin as he turned the door knob. When he had to, he could play the game. You didn't make the rank of colonel in the United States Air Force without knowing the rules. He'd just never been very good at following them. This wasn't the first time he'd skied the edge of a court-martial. Daniel and the people of Abydos were alive today because he'd been willing to risk his freedom to save them.
"What is it, Colonel?"
The impatience in the deep voice was audible indication Hammond hadn't forgiven his subordinate. The scowl on the ruddy face was another clue. In the wake of this barometer, Jack stood at attention, his eyes focused on a spot just above the general's head. "Sir, I respectfully request you send SG-1 on the next mission."
"That won't be possible, Colonel."
There was a softening in the voice that gave Jack the courage to probe for a reason. "May I ask why, sir?"
"Dr. Jackson is currently off-world. Until he returns, SG-1 is on stand down."
Wondering if he was pressing his luck, Jack plowed ahead, "Where is Daniel, sir?"
"Orban."
This was not the answer Jack had been expecting. He could feel his hands trembling, a visual display of his anger. Hiding them behind his back, he asked, "Why?"
Hammond hesitated before replying. "I think you should go and find out for yourself."
"I'm sure Daniel doesn't need my help, sir."
"That wasn't a request, Colonel." Piercing blue eyes narrowed as they trapped O'Neill in their web. "It was an order."
Realizing he'd pushed his superior as far as he dared, Jack reluctantly surrendered, "Yes, sir."
***
As soon as the wormhole settled into the event horizon, Jack walked up the ramp. Though it took all of his will power, he didn't look back. He knew General Hammond would be watching from the Control Room. He just wasn't certain which Hammond it would be. The older gentleman who had become his friend, or the superior officer, angry and hurt by his subordinate's actions.
To be honest, Jack didn't want to know. Even when his head told him it was wrong to kidnap Merrin, his heart hadn't listened. Now his head and heart had to deal with his betrayal to the commanding officer who had become his mentor. And, Merrin had still had her brain sucked out. From where he stood, Jack figured he'd lost the game, the set and the match.
Exiting the wormhole, Jack saw the Urrone children had made significant progress excavating Orban's equivalent of an Embarkation Room. The mosaic beneath the DHD was almost completely uncovered. He was rather surprised - and disappointed - to find Daniel wasn't helping. His mixed emotions concerning his relationship with Hammond were making Jack have second thoughts about his argument with Daniel. He wasn't sorry he'd kidnapped Merrin, he was just beginning to wonder if he shouldn't have tried to be more diplomatic. More Daniel, less Jack.
A bitter smile curved Jack's lips. As usual, he'd screwed up. Damaged his friendships with two men who were more than just co-workers. All for nothing.
"Colonel O'Neill?
Jack looked down into the sparkling eyes of a young boy. Eyes very much like Merrin's had been. The comparison made his heart twist. How old was the boy? How long before he became the infant Merrin had become?
"Colonel, if you'll follow me, I'll take you to Dr. Jackson."
Waving a hand towards the exit, Jack agreed, "Lead on, McDuff."
"My name is Duron," the boy corrected, a puzzled frown wrinkling his brow.
"Then lead on, Duron." Jack smiled. "Hey, I'm a poet and didn't know it."
"From the studies I have made of your literature," Duron solemnly disclosed, "a poem must consist of more than one stanza."
Slightly embarrassed an alien boy would know more about the writings of his world than he did, Jack impatiently urged, "Shall we find Dr. Jackson?"
The journey was short, taking Jack to the one building he had hoped to avoid on this visit. It was the shelter built for Urrone children robbed of their intellect and childhood.
They had barely entered the structure when Jack sighted his truant teammate, talking to two women and a man. Their standard Air Force jumpsuits made it obvious they were from Earth, but he had never seen them before. "Daniel?"
"Jack?" A surprised gaze rested on the older man. "Why are you here?"
"General Hammond suggested," Jack emphasized the latter word, "I come."
"Why?"
"Because I decided it was time we went on a mission. The general said we couldn't because you were off-world."
"So, why are you here?"
"Our fearless leader thought I should see what you were doing." Jack openly stared at the three strangers listening to their conversation. "So, what are you doing?"
Daniel ignored the question and addressed his three companions. "I think I've covered just about everything. Why don't you get started?"
His curiosity more than a little piqued, Jack prodded, "Daniel?"
"The Orbanians learn new things by acquiring the nanites from Urrone children."
"I know that," Jack growled, feeling as though Daniel was twisting the knife in his heart.
Blue eyes filled with compassion, Daniel softly observed, "There's a big difference between learning and teaching."
"Meaning?"
"I've been acting as liaison between teachers from Earth and the Urrone children."
"You're going to teach the Urrone children how to be teachers for the Post-Urrone children?"
"We're also going to teach them how to be children. Along with reading, writing and arithmetic, they'll learn how to play games like the ones you taught Merrin."
His anger with the younger man dissipating, Jack asked, "Do you think it will work?"
"Merrin already showed us it would. She's graduated from drawing on walls." A tentative smile curved Daniel's lips. "Come see."
A glimmer of light at the end of the dark tunnel he had envisioned for Merrin, Jack followed Daniel to a small room. Inside was an Urrone child on a chair next to Merrin. Sitting behind them was one of the women Jack had seen talking to Daniel. A book rested in Merrin's lap. Her finger pointed to each word on the page as she slowly read out loud.
"See . . . Spot . . ." Merrin hesitated, her brow furrowed as her mouth silently worked to pronounce the next word.
"Run," the Urrone child provided.
"Don't give her the answer," the teacher gently corrected her pupil. "Help her learn to sound it out for herself."
Jack felt a hand on his arm pull him away from the doorway. In some ways it hurt to see the little girl who had been able to reel off the components of a naquadah reactor with no effort at all, having difficulty pronouncing a simple word. However, it was an important step up from the child who hadn't spoken to him as she drew on a wall.
"What do you think?" Daniel anxiously inquired, crossing his arms over his chest.
Recognizing the protective gesture, Jack admitted, "I still don't think it's right to suck those kids' brains out. But it is better than letting them live their lives in a catatonic stupor."
"They have you to thank, Jack."
"Not me, Merrin."
"But you showed Merrin and us the way."
Jack was tempted to admit this was not the outcome he had anticipated when he took Merrin to the Earth school. But he realized Daniel already knew that and still felt Jack's contribution was the deciding factor in the Urrone children's future. Because of him, they now had one. "I know something else that might help. I'll be right back."
***
Apparently unaffected by its journey through the Stargate, the dog squirmed in Jack's arm, a whimper escaping its quivering lips. With his free hand, Jack gently scratched behind the soft ears, while murmuring nonsensical words of comfort. Walking down the short ramp, he saw Daniel had joined the Urrone children excavating the Orbanian Embarkation Room.
"Jack?" Daniel's eyes shifted between the small animal and his friend's face. "A dog?"
A sly smile on his lips his only answer to the inquiring note in Daniel's voice, Jack led the way to the building housing the Post-Urrone children. The distaste he'd felt on his previous visit had disappeared. Now, he was eager and excited. He was introducing these children to another new world, outside of crayons and hopscotch. This world would be filled with unconditional love. In doing so, they were also saving the life of an unwanted pet. It was lucky he knew the people at the Humane Society, or the process of acquiring a dog would've taken much longer.
Arriving at his destination, Jack glanced in the room where he'd last seen Merrin. Another Post-Urrone child had taken her place. "Where's Merrin?"
"Learning math," Daniel hesitantly replied, looking at his watch.
Exasperated by the vague response, Jack waved a hand indicating the numerous doorways. "Which one?"
Still obviously wary of Jack's latest idea, Daniel reluctantly pointed to the opening directly behind him.
Jack sidled past Daniel, eager to show the young girl what he'd brought. The dog wasn't purple, but he was sure she would recognize it anyway. The look of fear on her face when her eyes encountered the bundle in his arms, made him hesitate. Approaching her slowly, while wondering if he'd made another mistake, he knelt in front of her. Taking Merrin's hand, he held it in front of the animal's mouth. A tiny pink tongue licked the smooth flesh.
With a soft scream, Merrin jerked her hand back. But the fear on her face faded. Her movements tentative, she put her hand near the dog's head. This time when the rough tongue scratched her palm, she giggled.
Satisfied with her reaction, Jack carefully placed the animal in her arms. The look of wonder and joy on Merrin's expressive face drove away any lingering doubts. He'd made a lot of mistakes in his life, but this wasn't one of them. "It's a learning dog," he whispered.
"A what?"
Smiling at Daniel's puzzlement, Jack explained, "You've heard of seeing-eye dogs? Dogs that help people who are deaf or have physical disabilities? Well this is a learning dog. It will teach Merrin and the other Post-Urrone children respect, how to love and how to accept love."
"An old dog learning new tricks?"
"More like a new dog teaching old tricks."
Another chuckle from Merrin brought Jack's attention back to the young girl and her charge. For a moment, her eyes seemed to reflect the light of knowledge he'd thought forever dimmed. Hope replaced the bitterness in his heart. The future looked a lot brighter for both their worlds.
Reaching out to gently pet the squirming animal's soft fur, he looked at Merrin. "Did I ever tell you dogs are my favorite people?"
© The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa'uld and all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.