Colonel Jack O'Neill's eyes picked out the solitary figure of Daniel Jackson in the darkness and he let his gaze rest on the other man for a moment before pouring two cups of coffee from the camp fire and walking over to join him.
Michael and Jenny had retired to their bus for the evening and the rest of SG-1 were settled around their makeshift camp in the woods. Daniel was sitting on a fallen log with his back to his team mates, staring at... seemingly nothing. Jack sank down on the log beside him without waiting for an invitation and held out the cup. Daniel took it with a murmured, "Thanks," but made no move to drink.
Jack took his time, drinking half his own cup before asking quietly, "What's wrong?"
"What do you mean?"
The retort was a little too fast, a little too defensive, and Jack only said, with as much meaning as he could put into the word, "Daniel...?"
There was an explosion of breath by his side. "Jack, it's 1969. I mean, it's really 1969. The moon landing, Richard Nixon is President, Woodstock, the Vietnam War..."
Jack nodded slowly, "Yeah." It was all he could do to keep from adding, So, what's your point?
"Do you remember where you were in 1969?"
Jack knew this conversation wasn't about where he had been or what he might have been doing in 1969, so he gave the question only scant consideration. "Mmm, yeah."
"I was in Egypt." Daniel's voice was soft, so soft it was almost lost even in the late night stillness. "I was born there, you know. In August 1969 I was about four and a half years old, and I was in Egypt." He paused, then added, "With my parents."
O'Neill closed his eyes briefly. Oh, shit... "Danny --"
The archaeologist turned to him suddenly, his voice picking up speed and volume, "They're alive, Jack. Right now, in 1969 where I am -- they're alive."
"Okay, Daniel, but you're not really --"
"Really what? Really here? Jack, I am here. You're here. We're all here. My parents are alive and I have a chance --"
"No." Jack reached out suddenly and clamped a hand over the younger man's arm, tightening his fingers to get Daniel's attention. He had to put a stop to this line of thinking right now, although he had a sinking feeling it was already too late. "No, Daniel," he repeated firmly. "Don't go there. Don't do this to yourself."
Even in the darkness surrounding them, Jack could see the passionate fire blazing in his young friend's eyes as Daniel leaned closer. "Jack, don't you understand? I can save them!" Pulling his arm out of O'Neill's grasp, he excitedly waved one long-fingered hand for emphasis. "All it would take is a phone call.... or, or, a letter, or a message of some sort."
Jack forced the calm disbelief in his own voice. "And you think they'd believe you? A warning about the future? About something that's going to happen -- how many years from now?"
"Yes!" Daniel gave his head an impatient shake. "I know I could do it, Jack. And I know they'd listen -- or at least, they'd remember when they were setting up that cover stone and they wouldn't... wouldn't..."
They wouldn't die a horrible death in front of their young son in the New York Museum of Art, leaving him behind to face a series of foster homes and a lifetime bereft of loving, caring parents.
There was such anguish on Daniel's face that Jack had to look away for a moment before he trusted himself to speak again. "Daniel," he said, carefully, "you know you can't do that. You remember what Carter said -- that grandfather paradox thing --"
"We're not talking about murdering my grandfather, Jack," Daniel broke in angrily. "We're talking about saving the lives of my parents!"
"Exactly," he retorted quietly, forcing himself to look directly at the other man. "You'd be changing history."
"History? What history?" By now Daniel's voice had risen so that Carter and Teal'c were looking over worriedly. "The only person this would affect would be me!"
"You don't know that, Daniel," Jack said evenly. "But even if that were true... that's still one person too many."
Stunned, Daniel could only sit there staring at him, a look of such hurt betrayal on his face that it was all Jack could do not to flinch. Suddenly the archaeologist was on his feet, his voice almost breaking, "And if it were you, Jack. If you had the chance to go back in time and save your son, go ahead and tell me you wouldn't take it." Then he was gone.
O'Neill stared at the ground in front of him, hearing the noise Daniel made as he crashed through the woods, most certainly taking no notice of his direction or what may lie in his path. He heard footsteps approaching from behind and said quietly, "Teal'c. Make sure he doesn't hurt himself or get lost out there."
"I will, O'Neill." He barely heard the Jaffa disappear into the night to keep watch over their young friend.
"Sir?"
"You heard, Captain?"
"Yes, sir." Carter hesitated, then joined him on the log. "He can't contact them, sir."
"I know."
"Who knows what else could change if they live --"
"I said I know, Captain."
"Yes, sir." Carter lapsed into silence. O'Neill deliberately finished his now cold coffee, then stood up and walked away.
*****
He was sitting alone in the darkness next to a small stream, tossing the occasional pebble in, when he heard someone approach. He felt some measure of relief knowing it was Daniel: no one else would have made that much noise.
"Jack?" Daniel's voice had that hesitant, uncertain quality to it that allowed Jack to immediately picture the look of utter desolation and remorse he knew would be on the younger man's face. "Can I talk to you?"
Jack had wanted to be angry at Daniel for the words he had flung at him before taking off into the woods, but he couldn't. He'd spent some time putting himself in Daniel's place and asking himself the same question Daniel had asked him: if he had the opportunity to go back in time and save his son, wouldn't he do it? Of course he would.
In a heartbeat. And damn the consequences. So how was it fair to ask Daniel not to take that one step which could save his parents and save him from a world of hurt? The answer was simple, if brutal: life wasn't fair. And in Daniel's case, it seemed to be even less so.
He scooted over slightly, indicating Daniel should join him, and the archaeologist dropped down beside him. "Thanks for sending Teal'c after me," he said quietly. "I... got lost."
Jack smiled wryly to himself but all he said was, "It's easy to do at night in the woods."
"Yeah, apparently," was the rueful answer. The younger man took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Jack, I'm sorry for what I said to you... about your son. It was thoughtless and stupid and unforgivable and --"
"Daniel." Jack knew how long Daniel could go on when he was flagellating himself over real or imagined transgressions. "It's all right. It was a fair question."
"No, it wasn't. I was angry and hurt, and I had no right to say something like that to you." Daniel pulled his knees up and dropped his head into his arms. "Jack, I know you're right. You're right and Sam's right, and Teal'c is right --"
"Teal'c?"
Lifting his head, Daniel took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "When he was bringing me back, he asked me what I thought my life would have been like if my parents hadn't died. I'd thought about that before, of course, but not in a long time." Replacing his glasses on his nose, he wrapped his arms around his knees and stared out into the darkness. "I didn't have a helluva lot of direction in my life growing up, Jack. Maybe if I could have stayed in one foster home long enough to form some kind of... attachment that would have been different, but there were too many."
"A handful, were you?"
Jack saw the rueful grin. "A little too smart for my own good," was the dry retort. "Nobody quite knew what to do with me. I never caused any trouble; I just never... fit in. So I stopped trying." Daniel shrugged, as if shaking off that thought. "You know my parents were both archaeologists?" Jack nodded. "They were good, Jack," he said softly. "Respected, accepted -- everything I wasn't. If they'd lived I don't know if I would have questioned some of the things I did, formulated those theories that got me laughed out of academia. I might just have followed their path, accepted the standard line regarding the dating of the pyramids, and..."
"And never met Catherine and never opened the Stargate," Jack finished quietly.
Daniel nodded. "Yeah." He drew another deep breath, this one shaky. "I know I can't save them, Jack. It's just... I'm sitting here now and I know they're alive out there. They're so close. Closer to me now than they have been since..."
"I know." Slipping an arm around the younger man's shoulders, Jack tightened it briefly. "I know."
"But I guess some things are just meant to be."
Jack O'Neill had never been real big about 'accepting fate' if it looked like Life was about to bite you in the ass and there was even a slim chance you could do something to change that. But he had to admit, in this case, he did agree. "Daniel, I'm sorry there isn't anything we can do about your folks, and I am sorry for what their deaths did to you. But I'm not sorry about the man you turned out to be."
Daniel turned to look at him, eyebrows lifted in surprise.
"You are respected and accepted, you know."
A small, grateful smile slowly touched the younger man's lips. "I know."
Jack gave his shoulder one last squeeze, then let his arm drop. "Good," he said briskly. "Now, then, there's something I've been meaning to talk to you about."
Somewhat disconcerted by the sudden change in topic, Daniel said, "Ahh, what?"
In a tone similar to Daniel's when delivering a lecture on yet another Egyptian mythological god, Jack said, "For future reference, if you're ever caught in a top secret American military facility and someone asks you in Russian if you're a spy, the proper response is not 'Nyet'..."
~fin~
© September 7,1999 The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa'uld and all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.