Sex Of One, Half Dozen Of Another

Written by Gallagater
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Danielís eyes widened as Jack melted limply into the chair across from him in the dining hall. "Jack, you look awful. What happened?" He eyed Jackís haggard features with concern.

Raising a trembling hand, Jack snagged the glass of water on Danielís tray. "Nightmare," he managed as he brought the glass to meet his pale lips.

Daniel watched as a shudder coursed through his friendís lean frame. "Do you want to talk about it? It might help." He was more than a little surprised as Jack spoke.

"I was standing between Anise and Hathor, trapped between libidinous book ends. It was like a convention for Hookers R Us. It was so confusing. I couldnít think straight."

Daniel realized it was a measure of Jackís distress that he was sharing, particularly something so obviously emotionally laden. It wasnít like him. Yet he couldnít stop himself from adding, "Wow, stuck between two beautiful, sexy women. I can see how that would be terrifying."

Burying his face in his palms, Jack ignored his friendís smirk, obviously reliving the horror in detail, "The perfume - oh god - it was a combination of O de Lust and Chanel # 69. They dragged me into one of those little stores that sells all that gold lameí crap."

color:black'>Waggling a knowing eyebrow Daniel asked, "You mean class=spelle>Kinkos? Isnít that the place where you bought . . .?"

Jack interrupted with a harsh snap. "Never mind. We were talking about my dream."

"Were we?" Daniel smirked again.

"Dammit Daniel. Iím trying to tell you it was awful. They tied me to a chair . . . " He suddenly realized his voice had risen and he and Daniel were drawing some unwanted attention and at least one lewd stare. Lowering his voice he leaned forward and whispered confidentially, "and made me watch while they tried on everything in the store." The haunted man stared unseeingly into Danielís sympathetic eyes, "I was dressed in this freakin' Napoleonic outfit, with ruffles, for class=spelle>cryin' out loud. Ruffles. Geesh. I remember thinking, ĎIt was the breast of times, it was the worst of times.í"

"Ah," Daniel nodded as comprehension flooded his face. "It was a Tale of Two Titties."


I apologize ahead of time for this one gang. Hail Dorothy threw down the challenge and my warped muse responded thus. The drabble blossomed into a ficlet before I could prune it back. Hope you enjoy it Linda.

September 9, 2004 The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa'uld and all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.