For several minutes Jack sat idly watching a bird fly overhead in the night sky before turning his attention back to the bottle in his hand. Raising it to his lips he took another mouthful, grimacing when he found the beer had gone warm while he had sat lost in thought. He'd come up onto his roof to look at the stars but so far hadn't even touched the telescope.
Jack sighed, the sound lost in the stillness of the night. Damn, what was he supposed to do now? He felt so . . . lost. Daniel, who had gone off into the universe with Oma, was now back and expecting everything to go back to the way it had been before he'd ascended.
'That's not fair,' Jack berated himself angrily, Daniel didn't even remember the way they had been so wasn't expecting anything. In fact Daniel not remembering their previous relationship could be a blessing considering the strain it had been under before he had ascended.
At the time Daniel making the decision to ascend had cut out Jack's heart. Looking back now it had been ultimately the wisest decision. Jacob said himself he didn't even know if he could heal Daniel - his condition was so poor. Daniel died shortly after Jacob stopped trying so the damage to his body must have deteriorated to a severe level by that stage. The last thing Jack wanted was to have Daniel alive but a Daniel riddled with pain and disabled to the extent he could no longer be a part of Jack's day to day life.
Jack thought fondly of the geek Daniel used to be, laughing outright as he remembered the first time he'd seen him. Stumbling around the base, correcting other people's work without a qualm, asking questions. Jack, though at the time deep in depression after losing Charlie, had felt a stirring of amusement at the young, longhaired scientists' antics.
By the end of two weeks Daniel had changed Jack's life, not just during the mission to Abydos, but by opening Jack's eyes to the fact that life was still worth living. Leaving Daniel on Abydos with his new family had been the right thing to do. Jack just didn't realize he'd miss Daniel until it was too late. He'd never thought to have the chance to see him again.
'How could I have come to care so much for a geek?' Jack thought, his lips unconsciously curving into a smile. 'How the hell did a seasoned soldier and a nose-in-book scholar become such close friends?'
Jack bit his lip. 'How could I have mishandled the time after Sha'ri's death so badly, letting him push me away? I should have taken him in hand, made him talk to me. I let it go and the Daniel I got back afterwards was changed to a point I had trouble relating to him, a Daniel behind a big honking wall that was seemingly impenetrable.'
The NID sting coming in the middle of all that didn't help either. Jack knew Daniel was a smart guy and thought he would have worked out that Jack was pulling something. Jack forgot to take into account his friend's lack of confidence, his uncertainty and the fact that he was still hurting from losing his wife. Daniel took what Jack said and did to heart, took it as another blow in a year full of hard knocks. Even after Jack had tried to clear it up in the gateroom, he could still see the lingering doubt and hurt.
'Daniel and I have been given a second chance, one I don't want to miss,' Jack thought determinedly. Jack didn't want to live another year like this last one, turning into a grumpy old colonel, isolated from everyone. Losing Daniel had made him realize how much he loved his friend, how much he wanted them to get their friendship back to how it was, back when they could spend all week-end watching TV or going to a museum or something, just happy to be together. 'He's the best friend I've ever had and I miss him,' Jack thought.
Jack had been unable to connect with anyone this past year, not Carter or Teal'c and certainly not Jonas. The sense of relief Jack felt when Jonas decided to go back to Kelowna was overwhelming. 'One more problem sorted out without yours truly having to look the bad guy by wanting Daniel instead of Jonas in SG-1.' Jack saluted the sky with his empty beer bottle.
Jack cared for all his team more than he should, Daniel most of all. Over the years he'd forced Daniel into a role he couldn't define. Was it surrogate son? Or younger brother? Sometimes the line between the two blurred and Jack lost sight of the fact that Daniel was a grown man who might not appreciate being treated like a child. Daniel seemed to take it mostly in his stride though, which was fine with Jack. Regardless, Daniel also filled the role of best friend and confidant. Jack could tell Daniel things he couldn't tell anyone else, talk with him about anything.
Carter and Teal'c had re-bonded with their returned teammate; in fact Teal'c and Daniel spent more time together than anyone else now. Carter spent more time touching Daniel now than Jack had seen in the last six years. Every time he got that bewildered look in his eyes he had Carter touching him, hugging him, reassuring him. Hell, Jack admitted he felt some resentment towards her for doing what he considered to be his job.
Daniel had been back now for three months and was still wandering around the base, lost for most parts and Jack knew his hands-off attitude was to blame for some of Daniel's disorientation. Jack still had to sort through what he was feeling about yet another miraculous return. Was he scared to open his heart again? Was It worth building a wall to hide behind so you didn't get your heart ripped out again if you forget to live? No, life was too short, too precious to waste.
'What am I doing here, alone?' Jack looked around him. Daniel had only recently moved into a new apartment, Jack smiled at the happy memories of going house hunting with a still slightly bewildered Daniel and the rest of his team. The new apartment was only a few minutes from Jack's house and fit the necessary security measures for someone of Daniel's importance. Jack stopped, a decision made. 'I could go and pick him up and we could get back here in time to catch the hockey game on TV - wonder if being ascended has given him an appreciation for the game he didn't have before?' Jack stood up, moving towards the ladder. 'Probably not.'
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I am attempting to write a trio of stories all dealing with SG-1's feeling about Daniel's return. Thanks to Aloysius for the great Beta. My first attempt at a Jack/Daniel friendship piece - small and smarmy. I actually found this one the hardest to write of the three stories.
© July 30th, 2003 The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa'uld and all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.