How could we have been so stupid? was the general thought running through the heads of SG-1. They were parked in a cell in a mother ship owned by Apophis. It had been a nice, normal mission to an alien planet then, boom, surrounded by Jaffa. Colonel Jack O’Neill banged his head on the wall.
Must… get… out.
Meanwhile, a few hundred light-years away…
“Master Naroko!” Naroko Chiston, Jedi Knight of the Old Republic, Survivor of the Jedi Purge, and Master of the Galaxy’s Most Annoying Padawan, cracked open one eye.
“Mmmph,” she said. Very articulate. Sitting up, she tried again, tucking several errant strands of long black hair behind her ear. “What?” Then she saw it behind her still-partially closed eyelids: three men and one woman sitting dejectedly in a cell. The image flashed, replaced by a cruel-looking, dark-skinned man. The right side of his face was partially covered by metal plates. Another flash, then Naroko saw seven symbols.
The image faded, and she opened her eyes. Her Padawan Learner, Arianna Esdel stood before her.
“Did you see it?” she asked earnestly.
“Yep. Any idea who they are?” Ari shook her long-muzzled head, her feathered crest wiggling. Naroko stood. She was very tall, almost 1.83 meters, with long, crow-black hair, black eyes, gold-brown skin, and high cheekbones. Even so, she was dwarfed by her apprentice. The Nacrasian was 2.25 meters in height, with a long, lanky build. A somewhat horse-like head perched atop a long, furry neck and narrow shoulders. Her hands were slender and four-fingered, a small claw tipping each delicate digit. A prosthetic attachment replaced half of her left hand, the original part lopped off in a supposedly friendly lightsaber duel many years ago. Her feet were like a velociraptor’s in design, the second toe evolved into a retractable switchblade. A slim, catlike tail trailed behind her. Ari stepped backward to give her master room.
“Is he up yet?” Naroko asked, referring to their friend in the next room. Ari shook her head again.
“And I’m not about to be the one to wake him. He’ll toss me halfway down the hallway before I could blink.”
“All right, then, I’ll get him. You can pack standard gear: sabers, comm-links, rations, the usual.” Ari nodded eagerly and turned to leave Naroko’s room. The Jedi Knight thought of something else.
“And no marzipan!” she called after Ari’s retreating form. Naroko left her room and entered the next one. Its occupant was dozing in a chair. Naroko sighed, and then braced herself in the door frame.
“Anakin! Up and attem!” she called. The Force blow caught her in the chest, nearly knocking her from her position.
“Up, Skywalker!” The former Sith Lord raised his head off of his arms.
“Can I help you, Naroko?” he asked, unreadable as always behind his respirator mask.
“We got a help call. We’re going to answer it. So that we may do that, you can get up.” Naroko got the impression Anakin was rolling his eyes. He stood and followed her out. Ari stood by the door with three small packs. She eyed Anakin and Naroko in turn.
“Wow, he didn’t kill you,” she said approvingly.
“He tried.”
“When I want to kill someone, I don’t try, I do,” Anakin said.
“Like you killed Obi-wan, and all those Admirals, and-“Ari retorted.
“Shall we drop this?” Anakin said irritably, “Do we even know where we’re going?” Naroko and Ari looked at each other.
“Good point.” Naroko said. She crossed to a small computer on a nearby desk. The Jedi opened a link to the Everytown guide and hit search. Using details from her vision, she narrowed down the possible list of portals. A few moments later, she grinned triumphantly.
“Got it. We are going through the Stargate portal to a world designated PX6-9916. Those symbols we saw make up the address to the planet. We go to the gate, punch in the symbols, and head on through.” Naroko said.
“How?” Naroko perused the screen.
“Some kind of wormhole technology. Maybe they’ll let you play with it, Anakin.”
“I do not ‘play’ with technology, I make it better.” he corrected. That said, Naroko shut off the computer and led the group out the door. The bright sun of Everytown was almost painful after the relative dimness of their rented quarters. Portals to every reality and storyline imaginable lined the streets, which were populated by being of every description. About half a kilometer away stood the Stargate, a huge, metallic ring inscribed with symbols.
Naroko punched in the symbols from her vision on a mushroom shaped device next to the gate. Ari, who had been standing a little close to the large ring, leaped back with a yelp as the wormhole activated. The Nacrasian knocked into Anakin, and both of them tumbled to the pavement.
“I seem to be on the ground a lot since we got together,” the former Sith Lord said dryly, picking himself up awkwardly. Naroko shrugged and stepped through the Stargate.
Spinning, dizzy, sick, whirling colors… The wormhole spit the Jedi out onto a desert planet. The gate itself was guarded by a dozen Jaffa. They brought staff weapons to bear on the trio. That was the last thing they did. With a loud shriek, Ari switched on her indigo-bladed lightsaber and charged.
“Yaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!” she screamed, hacking at anything that moved. Not far behind her, Anakin’s red blade had an equally detrimental effect on the opposing forces. With a mighty Force-aided leap, Naroko pounced on a pair of Jaffa who were attempting to turn a laser cannon on Anakin. Her yellow blade flicked twice, and two heads rolled in opposite directions of their respective bodies. Once more, and the muzzle of the cannon fell to the ground. The Jedi Knight flicked off her lightsaber, as did Anakin and Ari. The entire sequence had lasted approximately 8.4 seconds. Anakin nudged a severed arm with the toe of his boot.
“Pathetic. Even stormtroopers put up more of a fight,” he said critically. Naroko pried a blue armband off the arm. “This is not the time to go looking for jewelry, Naroko.”
“Obviously you haven’t noticed that the symbols on this,” she indicated the armband, “match the symbols on that dais over there.”
“Hey, Master! There’s a funny ring in the ground over here!” Ari said, pointing to the circle in the ground by the dais. “Maybe if you pushed the button, something will happen to it!” Naroko looked at Anakin. He shrugged.
“Couldn’t hurt.” Naroko chose not to mention that playing with strange objects tended to result in one feeling a lot of pain. The three of them stood in the circle, and Naroko pushed a button on the armband. A number of rings whooshed out of the sand around them. There was a flash of light, and the Jedi found themselves in a building, lit with a red-gold light. The walls were covered in a shiny gold material, which was carved into strange symbols that covered them entirely.
Naroko’s knees buckled as she felt someone very close by in a lot of pain.
“Who is it?” Anakin asked. Naroko caught herself on her hands and shook her head.
“I can’t tell. They’re really close, though. I was just caught off guard, that’s all.” Trembling slightly, she picked herself up. “This way,” she said, pointing down the hallway to the left.
“Are you all right?” Anakin asked. Naroko nodded, applying a Jedi technique to force away pain. Hopefully, whoever was being tortured would be feeling less of it.
Meanwhile, just down the hall...
Daniel Jackson screamed with pain as Apophis applied his ribbon device. All he wanted was for the pain to just go away…
The pain diminished abruptly. The archaeologist gasped in relief, trying to assess what had happened. The Goa’uld was still using the ribbon device, but Daniel just wasn’t feeling it. That was a relief.
A huge ruckus was approaching the door to the room where Apophis had SG-1 pinned down on various walls. Daniel tried to twist his head so he could see the door. Suddenly, a beam of bright gold light poked through the door… and began cutting through it.
“What the?” Jack asked as Apophis whirled around. A chunk of the chamber door, large enough to admit an adult, fell forward. A tall woman stood silhouetted in the hole. Apophis raised his hand and sent a blast concussive blast of energy in the direction of the door. The woman was knocked off her feet and thrown back into the hall.
“Sithspit!” she snarled. At least, that’s what Daniel thought she said. With the Doppler Effect, it sounded more like “Siiiiith-“ Thud. “spit.”
Daniel’s evaluation of what the strange woman had said was interrupted by the entrance of a seven-and-a-half foot tall, furry being that waved a weapon that looked suspiciously like a lightsaber and screamed “Yarrrrr!”, and the fact that the pain had returned. He did note that on the arrival of the alien, Apophis turned very pale. The Goa’uld System Lord turned even paler upon the arrival of Darth Vader.
Now I know I’m dreaming. Vader was followed very closely by the tall woman who had cut open the door. In the light, she was revealed to be of Asian descent, her black hair pulled into a ponytail. She nodded to Vader, and both of them activated their lightsabers.
A Jedi Knight working in conjunction with Darth Vader? The world has come to an end… I wonder if the psychology ward has room for me. Daniel liked that idea. Nice, empty rooms, padded walls…
The sight of Darth Vader and the Asian Jedi bore down on Apophis, lightsabers extended threateningly. Apophis whirled and ran. The woman smirked, and then all three of them turned off their sabers. She turned to SG-1, who were each bound to a wall.
“Are you all right?”
“We were in the process of being tortured by Apophis, but since you made him run like a scared rabbit, we’re a lot better now.” O’Neill said.
“What’s a rabbit?” the tall alien asked. The woman shrugged.
“Who are you, anyway?” Carter inquired.
“Naroko Chiston, Jedi Knight of the Republic. This is my apprentice, Arianna Esdel, and Anakin Skywalker,” she said. Teal’c raised an eyebrow.
“Did he not die on the second Death Star over Endor, O’Neill?” the Jaffa asked as Naroko used her lightsaber to cut through his bonds.
“First of all, I am right here and can hear you. Second of all, I obviously did not die on the Death Star.” Va-Anakin said. His red blade cut through Carter’s bonds like the proverbial hot knife through butter. The former Sith Lord extended a gloved hand to help the major to her feet. Meanwhile, Naroko had freed both Daniel and Colonel O’Neill. Daniel stood, wincing as the shadow of ribboning pain hit him. He noticed that Naroko suddenly paled as if in pain.
“Are you all right, Master Chiston?” Daniel asked. She nodded and took a deep breath. Color returned to her face, and the pain left Daniel.
“Sorry, my control slipped for a moment. If I wasn’t shunting aside the pain, you would be in no shape to get out of here.” Daniel pondered that, but Naroko and Anakin began herding SG-1 out of the room.
“What supplies will you require to return to your world?” Anakin asked.
“Oh, just a GDO, and some P-90’s wouldn’t hurt,” O’Neill said offhandedly.
“Is that a type of weapon?” Anakin asked. Daniel nodded. The one-time Sith Lord nodded in understanding.
The group was moving down the hallway when Naroko put out a hand. She gestured, and Anakin herded SG-1 into an alcove.
“What is it?” Carter asked in a hushed voice. Anakin shook his head. Loud, metallic footsteps approached from around the corner. It was a group of four Jaffa.
“Halt!” the lead one commanded upon seeing Naroko. “We have heard a disturbance. What has happened to our Lord Apophis?”
“Nothing has happened to him.” Naroko replied, “You heard nothing,” she added with a slight wave of her hand.
“We heard nothing,” the Jaffa repeated, a blank expression on his face.
“You will continue on your rounds and leave your Lord Apophis alone.” Naroko said.
“We will continue on our rounds and leave our Lord alone,” the Jaffa repeated. They marched off. The Jedi watched them go.
“Mind-tricking a group of guards should not be that easy.” Naroko shrugged, and they made their way to a storage unit. There, Anakin’s lightsaber made short work of the six inch thick door. SG-1 retrieved various pieces of gear, including a GDO.
“What’s that?” Ari asked.
“It’s a device we use to let the people on Earth know that it’s safe to raise the shield we have over our Stargate.” Carter explained. Naroko groaned.
“Now you’ve done it, Major. Now both of them will want to take it apart.”
“Me? Take it apart?” Anakin inquired in an almost innocent tone. Naroko smacked her forehead with the heel of her palm.
Minutes later, the transport rings deposited the unlikely group on the surface of the planet. Daniel noticed that apart from the sixteen Jaffa waiting for them, there were also the scattered…pieces of another dozen. Teal’c, Carter, and O’Neill opened fire as the Jedi snapped on their lightsabers. The weaving energy blades were even more effective than inch-long metal projectile whizzing along at a few hundred miles an hour. As he skirted the edge of the combat towards the DHD, Daniel noticed the Jedi’s different combat styles.
Ari ran around, screeching battle cries and hacking at anything that moved. Fortunately, all her wild swings missed her allies.
To make up for his relative lack of agility, Anakin used his considerable telekinesis skills to wreck havoc amongst foes. Anything not securely bolted down (the Stargate, the DHD…) suddenly became prone to flying lessons. This even included the Jaffa themselves. More than one warrior found himself on a collision course with an ally.
Naroko took a more three-dimensional approach. She used the Force to propel herself ten and fifteen feet in the air, pouncing on her targets from above. When not playing the part of a giant grasshopper, the Asian Jedi demonstrated a considerable aptitude for hand-to-hand combat. Somehow, she did all this while avoiding SG-1’s fire. In fact, a few Jaffa were forced into the path of Teal’c, Carter, and O’Neill while attempting to avoid Naroko’s powerful blows.
Daniel reached the DHD and began punching in the Earth address. Naroko’s bright golden blade whipped around behind him, deflecting staff fire. The archaeologist gulped as he thought of what would have happened if she had missed.
The wormhole activated, and Daniel tapped in his IDC code. Receiving confirmation of an open iris, he jumped through, closely followed by SG-1 and their unexpected guests.
General Hammond was in the control room, waiting for the travelers to come through. He was surprised, to say the least, by his team’s company.
Naroko drew back, clearing her hands from her lightsaber as the airmen’s rifles pointed at her and the other Jedi.
“My name is Naroko Chiston. I am a Jedi Knight,” she said, then indicted Ari and Anakin. “This is my Padawan Learner, Arianna Esdel, and my friend, Anakin Skywalker. We will harm no one.”
“Colonel O’Neill, what is the meaning of this?” Hammond demanded.
“Sir, can this wait until the debriefing?” O’Neill asked. The general nodded.
“Have Dr. Frasier examine them, then we’ll debrief when you’re finished.”
Daniel led the three Jedi to the infirmary, where he introduced them to Dr. Frasier. The short woman split them up, assigning nurses to examine SG-1, Naroko, and Anakin, while she gave Ari her physical herself.
Daniel watched the proceedings. Naroko checked out fairly quickly, but her companions had a bit of trouble.
An unfortunate intern was being laughed at by a colleague as he attempted to draw a blood sample from Anakin’s right arm.
“You fool!” she giggled, “You have to draw from his left! The right’s a prosthetic!” Blushing, the intern corrected his mistake.
Meanwhile, down at the opposite end of the infirmary, Dr. Frasier was being foiled. Ari slowly walked backwards, baring her teeth and hissing as Dr. Frasier advanced wielding a hypodermic needle.
“I – don’t – like – NEEDLES!!!” she shrieked. Naroko sighed. Ari kept backing up. At the rate she was going, she’d walk right through the wall. The Jedi Knight stood, picked up a needle, and walked towards Ari from the side. Since the Nacrasian’s attention was completely on the doctor, Naroko had no problem getting close.
The Jedi’s hand flashed and Ari shrieked and struggled, to no avail. Naroko drew back, the needle in her hand. She handed it to the doctor.
“And that is how you get a blood sample from a needle-shy Nacrasian.”
* * * * * * * *
“And so Apophis is torturing us and all of a sudden these guys come in after cutting right through the door and Apophis runs like a scared rabbit…” O’Neill was saying as Dr. Frasier came in with a stack of lab reports.
“Yes, Doctor?”
“Sir, I have reason to believe that these three are carrying a disease that may be communicable to us.”
Ari cocked her head. Naroko looked surprised, but realization dawned on her face.
“May I see the samples, Doctor?” she asked. Frasier handed her the papers. The Jedi perused them, and burst out laughing. She handed them to Anakin, who chuckled as well.
“May I ask what is so funny?” Hammond interrupted.
“Medichlorians!” Naroko giggled. “You think… Oh by the Force! You think that the medichlorians are pathogens!”
“What are ‘medichlorians’?” Dr. Frasier asked. Pulling herself under control, Naroko explained that the medichlorians connected a Jedi to the Force.
“So they aren’t contagious?” Hammond said. Anakin shook his head.
“What are you going to go with us?” Ari piped in.
“Do?” Naroko sighed.
“We don’t really belong anywhere. Anakin is believed dead, as well as not horribly liked. There’s still a large number of Jedi Hunters who would gladly either kill us or turn us over to the remains of the Empire. We’ve been hiding ever since Endor.”
“Where?”
“It’s a place called ‘Everytown’. It’s where all realities intersect in one place. Portals connect the past, present, and future of every timeline you can imagine.”
“As is evidenced by the fact that we have two Jedi and a former Sith in our briefing room.” O’Neill added.
“I thought you hadn’t seen Star Wars, Jack.” Daniel said.
“Teal’c made me watch it with him.”
“Ah.” Naroko heard footsteps from the corridor. They stopped, and someone knocked on the door.
“Come in.” Hammond said. The door opened, and a young woman entered. She halted, surveyed the room’s occupants, and laughed.
“Okay,” she said with a grin, “Did I lose time off-world and come back on Halloween?”
“What is ‘Halloween?” Anakin asked as the redhead’s grin grew wider.
“Wow, you even got James Earl Jones to do a voice-over!”
“Who?” Ari asked.
“James Earl Jones. He did the voice of Darth Va…” her voice trailed off at the inquiring tilt of Anakin’s head. “Obviously not.”
“Captain Mariah Sanders, this is Anakin Skywalker, Jedi Knight Naroko Chiston, and her apprentice, Arianna Esdel.” Hammond said.
“I know you.” Anakin cut in suddenly.
“Me? No way. The only place I’ve seen you is on a T.V. screen.” Mariah said.
“But I remember you,” he insisted, “It was right about the time when the Rebel Alliance stole the plans to the original Death Star. We captured a small, two-man fighter that accidentally got caught in our Interdictor’s gravity well.” He nodded to Mariah. “You were in it, but you were different. The equipment you carried, the language you were speaking in, all were unlike anything we had seen within the Empire. Even the symbiote you carried-“
“Symbiote?” she asked, “I don’t carry a symbiote.”
“But you did. She referred to me as ‘Jeedai sholva.’” Anakin said.
“I don’t know what Jeedai means,” Daniel put in, “But sholva means traitor. Your accent is terrible, by the way.”
“That’s what she said.” Anakin replied. “The captain escaped. I was never entirely certain just how she pulled off that little shape-shifting trick, but she got away.”
“Can you describe the symbiote?” Carter asked.
“It felt snakelike, if that’s any help. At one point, Sander’s eyes glowed, and her voice sounded like someone ran it through a synthesizer.”
“I’m right here,” Mariah said. Carter frowned.
“Sounds like a Tok’Ra to me.” O’Neill said, “Stupid lousy snakes. Planning on picking one up any time soon, Sanders?”
“No!” Mariah said. She frowned as if remembering something. “Jeedai… Jeedai… I know this one… wait… Jedi!”
“Care to explain that, Captain?” Hammond asked.
“In a couple of the Star Wars novels, there’s a mention of a Huttese word, ‘Jeedai’. It translates to ‘Jedi’, although not in a very, uh, polite way,” she explained. Anakin nodded.
“That’s basically what it means.”
“You speak Huttese?”
“I grew up on Tatooine. Half the populace speaks Huttese.”
“So I called you a betrayer of the Jedi, huh?”
“Basically.”
“Not much of a talker, are you?”
“Not really.”
“Uh, hello? What about us?” Ari piped in.
“Seeing as you helped save SG-1, I believe that you could be allowed to stay on Earth,” Hammond said. Naroko smiled.
“Thank you, General.”
February 9, 2005 The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa'uld and all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.