"With all due respect, sir...but this was the worse idea you've had yet!"
"What? What? How was I supposed to know he was going to react that way, Carter? What is taking him so long in there?"
"Well...I have to admit I should have realized that would have been a possibility when you told me about your...idea, sir."
"Yeah, yeah, me too...wait a second, what do you mean my worse idea yet?"
"Uh...nothing."
"I do not understand."
"Huh? What are ya talking about, Teal'c?"
"Why was it again that we wish to ambush Daniel Jackson?"
"What? No! Not...oh for crying out loud! I told you before! We weren't going to ambush Daniel! Geez, you make it sound like he was some deer in a hunt! We were supposed to surprise him for his birthday when he came up for mission briefing! Not ambush!"
"Although the way we popped up suddenly by the observation room would look like an ambush, sir."
"Argh, what did I just say? I said surprise! Surprise, not ambush!"
"...Well, he certainly was surprised, sir. I'll give you that."
"Sigh...he didn't have to do that though. Man gave me a heart attack when he took that header. Poor Siler. Guy is never going up those stairs again with us around. He never saw that tumbling archeologist coming."
"I feel so bad. And on Daniel's birthday too!"
"It was quite unfortunate about the artifact he was carrying. Daniel Jackson was most fond of the item."
"Snort. I don't care what Danny says...It still looks like one of those urinal thingies."
"Sir!"
"What? What? I'm just saying, Carter!"
"What should we do about the cake for Daniel Jackson?"
"His birthday cake? Oh, I stuck it in the fridge over there."
"Sir!"
"What? What now?"
"That was for Janet's samples! Don't tell me you stuck it in there!"
"Okay."
"Okay, sir?"
"Okay, Major. I won't tell you I stuck it in there. What's the big deal anyway? Can't have the cake out here!"
"Uh...sir?"
"What is it, Carter?"
"Did you see...er...anything else in there?"
"Just a bunch of beakers with some chemicals in them and stuff. Why?"
"...Those weren't...chemicals...sir."
"Huh? What are you talking about?"
"Samples, sir? You know...like...people samples? Fill the cup sort of thing?"
"Fill the cup sort...of...ah shit!"
"...Close enough, sir."
"How unappetizing."
"You can say that again, Teal'c!"
"How unap-"
"Never mind! Carter, get that thing out of there!"
"Me? I'm not going in there! You get it!"
"Well, this is just great! And I had to drive all the way to town to get the darn thing, too!"
"Why didn't you get the cafeteria to whip one up for you?"
"Those blabber mouths? Daniel would have found out before the icing went on the cake!"
"Blabber mouths?"
"Uh...a person who betrays a secret, Teal'c."
"Ah. In Chulak, such a deed would have their innards taken out."
"Eww..."
"Uh, Teal'c old buddy...we wouldn't do that here."
"Thank God, otherwise all those things me and Janet talked about would have gotten me-"
"Oh? And what did you and Doc talk about, Major?"
"Um...nothing. Oh! Janet! How is he?"
"He's fine. Mild concussion, a few scrapes and bruises. Someone's getting grease right now. They're going to try to get his hand out of that urinal without breaking it."
"See? See? I told you! It looked like a urinal!"
"Okay...now who's bright idea it was to jump out and yell like crazy at Daniel when he was on the top of those stairs?"
"..."
"..."
"It was Colonel O'Neill."
"Thanks a lot, Teal'c."
"Doctor Fraiser asked."
"Colonel? You? How could you? I'm surprised at you!"
"What? It was a surprise! You were supposed to jump out and say surprise to the birthday guy!"
"But at the top of the stairs? You're lucky he didn't break his neck!"
"How was I supposed to know he would get startled by us and fall backwards down the stairs?"
"How would you react if suddenly in the dark, in a top secret facility where aliens usually run amuck, a bunch of people jump out waving their arms wildly screaming out surprise at you?"
"...Would it help if I said sorry?"
"..."
"Now, Janet. Don't look that way. I'm sure the colonel didn't mean to make Daniel...fall down the stairs, get a concussion, knock down Sergeant Siler in the process, and get his hand trapped inside the vase."
"Thanks a lot, Carter. Remind me never to hire you as my defense if I ever get court martial."
"Ah! Daniel Jackson, are you well?"
"Hey, Daniel!"
"Danny boy! How's the head?"
"As cracked as my artifact. What happened? Last thing I remembered was this awful yelling and next thing I know, I'm in here!"
"Well...Danny...you see...that awful yelling...well...that was Carter."
"Sir!"
"Argh...please...don't yell so loud."
"Really, Colonel O'Neill. I don't appreciate having to work on a patient on my birthday-"
"It's your birthday, too? Hey, happy birthday, Doc!"
"It's your birthday also, Janet? Wow...that's a weird coincidence."
"Huh? Too? Who's also having a birthday, Jack?"
"You, dummy! Did you crack your head that hard?"
"Me?"
"Hello? Is there another Daniel Jackson here I should be getting a memo about?"
"Jack! My birthday isn't until NEXT month!"
"WHAT? Are you sure?"
"How would I not know when my birthday is? Yes, of course I'm sure!"
"Sir! You mean to tell us we'd gotten their birthdays mixed up?"
"Great. Thank you so much, Colonel O'Neill. What a lovely present to get. An unconscious Doctor Daniel Jackson on one of my lovely gurneys. All that was missing was some gift wrapping and a big bow."
"Crap...I had it circled with the word Doctor on it. I could have sworn..."
"Jack! Are you telling me that you guys jumped out, scared the life out of me, make me fall down the stairs, knock my head, break my glasses, collide with Sergeant Siler who know glares at me funny, got my hand stuck in my Aztec funeral vessel, and take yet another trip to the infirmary...for a birthday that wouldn't be for another month?"
"...Surprise? Want some cake, Doc?"
*LOL* Okay, a really goofy one I had posted long ago when fanfic writing was SOOOOO much easier than it is now....yikes. Anyway, this is for Rita, who wanted to have this posted for her friend Tritin. So, Tritin, you have a very nice friend here in Rita. =) Many happy returns. Happy birthday!
This is also for Jmas, Doc, Gary, Brenda, Phee, Bri, GateJunkie, JackJunkie, ELG, Ankh, and Bastet! For the many laughs, the support, and for being just darn good friends! =)
© July 21, 2001 The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa'uld and all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.